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Everything start on a misunderstanding

2006-09-29T16:13:00.000+08:00

Everything start on a misunderstanding

Today was a sadx day in the morning. 1st, ii was so tired that ii cant concentrate in english lesson, jux feel like sleeping. Do you have the feeling of ermx....the eyelid is sooooo heavy that you want to close but you need a hard strength to control it and keep it open? Yea that is wad ii am experiencing in the morning. And after that is art...ii was sooo sadx that ii almost cried but ii control. Ytd i was doing the batik until very late then eat, ii spent soo much time tat i don hab time to help my mum (her hand was injure) den tcher saw the work ii showed her, she was very angry and she scolded mii and the class too....ii suddenly feel soooo stress that ii don noe wad to do...left 12 more days for submission, not 12 more weeks...and she said if batik cannot ask mii to do canvas....canvas...haiz...den ii was like lost? yea the only word describe my feeling jux now was lost....ii talk to lishing the 1st sentence : You buy how much arh? the acrylic. Den she said : don noe, around $28...den my tears almost roll out of my eyes..ii am sooo sadx..den ii faced the other side and don let her see my face..during social studies test, ii no mood to do, so i anyhow copy the ans (it is open book test) den my friend keep asking mii are you alright? I jux smile and ans them...ii don wan to talk much, if not ii cant control the tears that is in my eyes. I suddenly realise one thing. That is: I am still not strong enough to live alone, ii still cant depend myself much, ii am still not strong. I still need friends concern.

Den during recess, ii went to art room and told ms ang why ii am doing so badly in my art, not i wan to but i don hab time to. Den ii cant control myself and ii cried...den she comforted mii and tell mii to do the smallest canvas and den ii had my recess with her. She asked mii what happen to mii and lishing that group, ii told her everything. ii was jux sadx. They cant be there when ii need someone concern. A lot of things happen when ii am with them. ii am scared. my mum injured her hand, ii help my mum take care of babies and some housework, somemore my grandma is staying with us now too. ii was so stress and tired. Tired till ii don wan to talk. Annoyed by small little things. And jux bcos ii nv talk, they tot ii showed attitude and den everything became like tat. Yanling said we are friend back, but still she asked my bro got said her bad words ma? Wad is this? Don trust mii? Den y bother became friends back?! Den ms ang said" don wan to explain to them?" not ii don wan, ii ans...is everytime when ii was finding a chance to explain, lishing show mii attitude. Wad you wan mii to do? haiz...den hab a talk with her, and with her understanding on why ii did soo badly on art.

i was happy, and went back to classroom is math, having to know my prelim result and higher chance to pass in O ii was so happy and in CME wan to do the oral presentation...lolx ii was the 1st one to finish the planning on what ii going to say and ii was the 1st to say. ii got 21 / 25 xD so funny..lolx

BatiK Day

2006-09-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

BatiK Day

Ever since ii am no longer with that group of girls, ii feel that ii am happier, though sometimes sadx bcos they show mii attitude(which is ridiculous) because everything start on that friday, that particular friday when i don wan to talk and lazy to talk, they thought ii showed attitude then all give mii black face ESPECIALLY LISHING. Well when ii sit beside her, she moved away and sit with other girl, her action hurt mii badly and in the end she can act like nth happen and still ask mii "we still friend right" ii don noe wad to ans her, her action is cruel to mii and it hurt mii(THAT TIME ONLY now i don feel any sadness towards what she do to mii) ii always find myself cant concentrate and study well with them cos they don even have the heart to study but now ii with other group ii am so happy, ii finally found someone who wan to study like mii. After all this incident, ii had learnt to be independent and not rely on friends. And oso learn to communicate with others group which ii seldom talk to, which was fun. I found myself happier than last time. xD Not feeling left out and do anything as my wish.

Today is the funniest day. I bring back every batik stuff bcos ii plan to do my art final this weekend. lolx but ii do 1 piece 1st bcos tcher wan to see tmr, den when ii was doing, my family all was so curious xD den my mum said one cute sentence "siyin arh, put on mask la, breathe in too manny wax air not good." lolx put on mask...-.- powerpuff girls one lor, den ii will wear xD lolx den my dad said use fan to blow away the air...well ii noe is poisonous bcos now, ii feel like vomitting...*not pregnant arh! lolx sooooo sianx.

Let's count down..3 more weeks? i think so, on the 20th oct ii no need to go to school anymore den wait for the O to come den ii go to school and take O. lolx next week got back all the prelim result..so scary, well ii will update all the prelim result nxt week. Plz wait for that day to come xD den on 19th of Oct ii got science O level practical.. xD soooo nervous siax xD

lolx okie write until here la xD Cyaz All

Embarrased Day In My Life

2006-09-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

Embarrased Day In My Life

Today so embarrasing and tired...1st is..my god mei come my hse and ii taught her math...cos she don understand ma...den after tat, during evening my mum, mi and my god mei went to my grandma's hse...den ii was supposed to take my god mei to interchange..my little cousin lingling...she like wan to folo mii..den she very noisy, so my mum...pushed lingling for mii to take care...god noes wad happened nxt....when we abroad the bus...she suddenly cried...swt...den most passenger in the bus look at mii...so ps lor..den ii gib her my hp..she shake her head..don wan..den ii giv her my ezlink card..she hold it..den quiet...few mins ltr cry again..omg...Zzz den ii used my fone to call my mum...den my mum said..nvm let her cry for a while..ya cry for A WHILE arh...den reached interchange..she wan to come down and walk..so ii put her down..end up she holding my leg..den ii carry her again...see my god mei went into the mrt station and took the escalator...ii jux wan to rushed hme immediately... den from MRT station till bus stop..she cry none stop and even louder -.- omg..her crying pierce my ear..really! lolx den ii feel so embarassed....cos people in interchange was looking at mii...and their look...make mii feel uncomfortable...swt...lolx anw ii stand at the stop waiting for the bus to come..faster! Den the bus finally come...but when ii wan to go in...she cry even louder and keep shaking her head...den ii said uu don wan to go in? Den she nod her head...zZZz den from interchange...ii walked to grandma's hse...on the way..she keep crying..den ii was like singing nusery rhythm all the way...quite thirsty..den when ii stop..she cried again..no choice..so all the way..ii was carrying her, singing nursery song for her...den she fell asleep...finally...lolx

LosT

2006-09-15T21:01:00.000+08:00

LosT

2 more months...ii always told myself this. Well partly is to tell myself O lvl is coming, muz be serious...but mainly is to let mii comfort myself...after 2 months, ii can get away from this fcukin skool and friends.
This few days, or can say, after tat incident, yanling matters...ii totally lost interest in gg to skool. It seems like gg to school, will hab endless troubles awaiting for mii. I hate it! My cousin, hahax Sardine, always said...y everytime go ur blog will sure see so many sadx things, so many friendship problems...seriously, if ii can choose, ii wish ii can put in something happy, ii happy, people reading will oso be happy...but this is fate...my life...slowly became quiet and darkness...my only friend is quietness, my only friend is myself..after so mani things happened, after so mani things tat others told mii....ii had lose trust in people around mii, lose trust in any friends. I don trust them like ii used to, ii don talk to them happily like ii used to, cos ii cant...ii cant forced myself to smile, if ii don feel like smiling. This few day, ii seldom talk, and don noe why..maybe bcos ii nv talk...it seems like...people will misunderstand and think ii have attitude problems...or angry...wadsoeva...and hence this happened...my friends, all giv mii face..black face..-.- ii hate to see tat, and ii lazy to tell them, ii jux being tired and don wan to talk..cant ii jux shut my mouth for one day? Why when ii didnt talk, uu will tink ii got problem?? haiz....fine...anw, ii am oso tired over this friendship le. Always being left out, always the one who standing at the far end when the group is walkin. ii hate it, hate the feelings, hate the feelings when at hme ii got some problems le, in skool, friends not there when ii nid them, still showing mii faces, ii am tired le..really ....i hate this life..after 2 more months...ii always comfort myself...my heartx is now burden wif so many things, ii cant say out. No people can let mii trust them totally...ii am in lost...Y!? Fine...fine..fine...ii don wan to say anything le. If this is the case, ii wish to stay silence the rest of my life and only dependent in myself...ii don nid others, my only friends is mii, myself. I feel so pathetic for myself...none of the friend really noe mii well...y? ii hate it...friends betraying uu again and again, backstab uu again and again, find troubles to you again and again...my heartx is now with a lot of scar...and those scar are make by those people...everytime, at nitex..when the atmosphere is so quiet...those scar do hurtx. uu can say, don care them, uu can say tell them uu r lonely, uu don like to be left out, uu can say uu still hab mii...but all this to mii are crap...really..crap to mii...

BaD LucK DaY

2006-09-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

BaD LucK DaY

Today is the most bad luck day ever in my life...1st my friend asked mii smth during assemly, it is a normal reaction to ans her back the qns...but bcos of answering her back, i ganna caught talking den send out of the assemly hall..lolx tis eediot Mr Wong (little bee, like to anyhow catch ppl...tat time, my friend asked mii for one tissue..and ganna caught by him, go detention ma -.-) den he asked mii to write my name in the file and seat outside...so sianx..lolx den he came out to checked on mii, i stared at him..den when he wan to go in, i said Mr wong...and this is our conversation...
" I nv talk wad, my friend asked mii smth, den i ans her onli."
" No talking no voice. This one even sec one pupils oso noe."
" Den you heard wad i say mehx. you say no voice ma. My mouth moved den uu say i talk."
" One more time go office."
LOL fcuking tcher, this kind of tcher hu onli noe how to use office and principal to threaten student are those useless tcher. Dam him. Den the bell rang, classes coming out from the hall...den my form tcher asked mii wad happened..den i told her everything..den she replied mi wif a , poor thing. lolx -.-
Den is during CME lesson...the Mr Sissy..lolx my friend keep making fun of him..den i was laughing until my gastric pain and tears coming out...he suddenly looked at us and asked mii wad he said jux now. " After exam still got CME" i replied, cos this is the onli sentence i heard...den he said "and?" I said i don noe la, why today all aimed mii siax, kaox. Den ii laugh again..lolx den he said " and prepare oral presentation on topic empathy, Stop behaving like a crazy gal" den my friend and ii laugh even louder..cos my friend said " Yes Mr Teck gor (bamboo stick cos he really very skinny)
After skool, my friend ask mii to go toilet and folo irene they all, den when i go in, i didnt saw my friend coming in so i go out again..and found she disappeared.....ii looked for her for 45 minutes..worry about whr she gone..den ii called her hp..she reject my call -.- i think she don wan to come...haix....don wan to come jux say...or sms mii...y mux lik tat...den in art room, today onli 3 girls and 6 boys...excluding the sec 4 members...den ii start to do my batik...using wax, cos it is hard so i switch to max, for the wax to melt...and ii fo halfway, my friend said wan to go buy water so ii go out with her..when come back, ii continue to do my batik...den the 2nd time..i think...lolx cos i always go out =X den my friend said wan go buy plain water, cos she having sore throat den i nth to do, so i folo her, b4 i left the art room, i switch off the thing tat make the wax melt...den noe wad....-.- we go out buy water...lolx ended up teaching my friend to play piano, Fur Elise. Den when we go back, the wax already harden..so i switch to max again...lolx den while waiting for it to melt, i go disturb my friend and walk around=x lolx den Nora, my best friend, lolx said " hey siyin it is burning..." ii saw smoke coming out..but it is normal de la..den i walk closer..suddenly saw the melting wax boiling..and ii noe..somebody mux hab put water into the wax...and the melting wax...spills out like firework and it spill everywhere...in order to protect others work...ii faster shift away the workpiece but ended up..my hand got scalded by the wax...dam painx...lolx but ii clear up the mess..b4 washing my hand with cold water...arh...so painx...Zzz my hand suddenly turned red..lolx but i didnt yelled in painx..i don noe y...ii onli say...waa very painx...without feeling siax...impressed on myself.....lolx den ii told my art tcher...she said very good, got clear the wax..lolx phew lucky..den my friend and i took pic in art room xD nth to do ehx...den we go hme at 7pm..so tired....and so bad luck today Zzz

WorsT DaY eVer

2006-09-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

WorsT DaY eVer!!!

Today is a bad, worst, terrible day for mi.

TireD arH

2006-09-06T20:27:00.000+08:00

TireD arH

lolx today is such a tiring tiring tiring day...Zzz ytd i slp at 8pm ouh sooo tired...den this morning woke up at 7am...den go to school at abt 8am den reached school at 8.30am....den i was doing my art work...waiting for my friends to come too..den draw draw draw...find my fringe irritating so i pin it up..den my cute little friend, shing, said..hey don pin up, not handsome anymore -.-...lolx? den the time passed....my friend and ii stunt for few hrs...no inspiration, no mood...so tired...lolx den at 1st, my tcher said allowed mii and my friends to go to orchard, takashimaya, to buy art stuff at 1pm...den she suddenly changed her mind said 2pm...wa lao totally nth to draw...still wan us to stay there for wad....den my friend talk to her...she said no...ended up mii tok to her...den she said she want to see my supporting studies...lolx but my supporting studies at hme...somemore...i onli draw...haben even paste on it...den she said she wan to see my ideas...diaoz.....lolx den she suddenly scold mii >.<>

Dam Pissed!!!

2006-09-03T20:23:00.002+08:00

Dam Pissed!!!

I am dam pissed off today and yesterday. After hearing tat my grandma is coming back to stay wif us on Monday, i had a strong feeling of sadness and anger. What are they treating Grandma as? Rubbish dump? All don wan to let her in, in the end she come our hse! WTH, i hate them (my father's side)! I hate ppl hu surname is ZHOU. kaox all chee bye kia siax! " So she wont be bored staying in the same old place, changing is good" KAOBEI LA, fcuking words, say until so nice. Don wan take care say la. kaox chee bye siax, den my day is going to be darkness again, i don noe i can tolerate my grandma unfairness and other characteristic, somemore, ii now oso troubled over friends matter -.- SIANX HALF. I HATE THEM!!!!

ToUching DaY

2006-08-31T17:07:00.000+08:00

ToUching DaY

Today early in the morning, something terrible happened...but i don wish to write it in my blog.
I went to school with my sis and my dad drive us there. When we reached school, i went to buy water( cos my sis nv help to refill the water) den i went up to the classroom hastily. And guess what...kaox the door is locked....ytd, my friend and ii had planned to decorate the classroom as today is Teacher's Day. today is aces day too...so we nid to bring our bag to the class and assemble at the gallery at 7.30am. The servant opened the door at about 7am ma -.- we onli got 30 minutes to decorate everything tat is expected. Everybody was united..well i am happy xD our class always like tat de..lolx when comes too event..all become so united and always learnt to enjoy the fun. We were late for assembly..oh gosh >.< 5n2 ="P" example ="/">.< eediot ="X" cried ="x" master ="x">

FrieNds agAin

2006-08-23T09:30:00.000+08:00

FrieNds agAin

Everything seems fine..from last friday till now...Last friday..yanling suddenly told mii don quarrel le...and we are friend again...i noe most friend will be stunt or don noe wad happen...why she suddenly friend mii back ya...actually i oso don noe why...don ask mii too...lolx hmmx...maybe there is other reason...and i noe wad she is doing behind thou she is friend wif mii again..but i am tired le..tired to care tired to explain and tired to cry and angry over this friendship...she wan to do wad..jux let her do..lolx she told her mum wad, and her mum told my mum wad...as long as my mum hear le still believe tat i am not tat kind of person, it's fine. So i don really care ^^

DAM FUCKING PISSED OFF

2006-08-17T14:59:00.000+08:00

DAM FUCKING PISSED OFF

Today...i was happy..cos i had planned to break all bond i have wif my friend. And for sure! I will never ever contact any secondary school CLASSMATE again...who said secondary school friend are the best tat you ever had...all lied! I don noe wad Yanling wan again -.- ...i am SICK AND PISSED OFF over THIS FUCKING SITUATION! Ytd! She was the one who cried in the hall and during social studies lesson...den Mrs Choo ask her go out and have some fresh air....den she said she wan to talk to mii..so i go out and comfort her but ended up comflict....BUT ended up she told her mum..I black face..and when she comfort mii , i nv reply..WT FUCKING HELL IS SHE TRYING TO DO!? I don noe...i jux noe...i am going to be crazy!!! Den she said shing, qi and her ask mii do not go near Irene MANY TIMES...SINCE WHEN!? LOL FUCKING BITCH! I NV EVER HEARD HER SAY THIS SENTENCE!!!

Most Terrible Day in My Life

2006-08-16T14:32:00.000+08:00

Most Terrible Day in My Life

Today was the most terrible day in my life. My world starts to become darker and darker...being silence oso can cause misunderstanding...i don noe wad to do...
Today, Yanling cried...i wan to know why she cried...but i don dare to ask her...during social studies lesson...Mrs Choo ask Yanling to go for a walk...den..YanLing said she wan to talk to mii...i don noe what happen..but jux went out and tried my very best to comfort a friend...bcos i am not good and comforting a friend...never did i wonder she start wif " what do you wan?" I was stunt at 1st bcos i don really noe wad she is talking..den i said "what i wan?" she said " What do you wan? You said bad things behind my back..you tell ur mum wad happen in school and ur mum yesterday stare at me and purposely zhen dui enen." I said what i say? I didnt say anything bad about u lor. my mum stare at you for wad." den she reply"what you said you should know clearly." and i going berserk...tis is the 1st time i shout at my friends...helplessly..bcos wad i said she nv hear into it..i don noe why..she keep saying i got said bad things about her..which i can swear i nv! "Can you do be so suspicious anot. You don even know wad i said..how can uu say i got say bad things behind you." I retorted...and 1st is angry...the conflict start to get louder tat the tcher came out..and ask mii to go in...the moment i step into the classroom..i wanted to cry..what happen today!? Den after tat is math lesson...Mrs Choo ask mii to go out and settle everything...Yanling keep crying and crying. She said since primary school, i always told my mum things about school. Well it's normal..cant a daughter share some happiness she had in school wif her mum? But she said i said bad things about her. Den say since primary school i was like tat, evertime wad happen to school you always tell ur mum..den ur mum will call and scold mi. I Was stunt my tis sentence...my mum call uu? Since when? Den she continued and say...Your sis even wrote in the diary say Can you don do this to my jie...I was stunt again..how can it be...my sis not tis kind of person lor. Den i said..you nv say bad things behind my back before!? Den she ans everybody will say back things about others de ma...lolx she said this sentence i wan to laugh..since she say EVERYBODY WILL den y mux she be so bothered if i did say bad things behind her back. (but i really nv say bad things behind her back) den she at there cry and cry and cry..i smell somethings fishy...maybe she jux wan to act or wad...den after tat...Mrs Choo ask mii to go back to the classroom..well i go in..and actually today got math test...den i try to focus and do the test..but i was crying...i cant even focus..den she came in..after tat she ask shing to accompany her go toilet..
After tat is Art and D and T...i suddenly wan to cry...it seems like the rest of the friends don trust and believe tat i am innocent..Zzz den i go down to the art room...stunt..tired...headache...what can i do? There is alot of question mark in my mind..i wan to ask shing if yanling was alright...but in the end...i didn't...den shiqi was at there crying..i don noe wad happen...den she accompany her go outside...den left mii alone...i cry again...how useless i am...jux thinking tat nobody trust mii...den Sari came...she comfort mii and trust mii..i was soo pleased..and i cried again..i wan to ask her to lend mii her shoulder to cry..but i didnt...den I told Miss Ang i wan to go home..she accompany mii go to the classroom and take my bag..and i ask her..did she ever quarrel wif friends..she ans mii and comfort mii...i go home...mainly is to settle things with mum..i wan to make things clear..whether or not did she called Yanling and scold or stare at yanling..den in the sickbay...i saw Mrs Choo...the moment i saw her..i cried again..i am so helpless...den she talk to mii...i told her everything and wad i plan to do when i reach home..den she lend mii her handphone...i called my mum...and ask her question..and her ans to all question is NO she didnt call to scold her..neither did she stare at her...i am confused...i cried..who i supposed to trust..i told Mrs Choo..and she told mii..Sometimes things hab different perspective...maybe eg a guy smile at a gal..a gal may think tat the guy is interested in her..but to her friend's view..it may jux be only a normal smile...my head start to ache..and i cant do anything to it...den Mdm Chan came..she is my form tcher...Mrs Choo help mii to summary everything to Mdm Chan..and Mdm Chan wan to talk to mii personally...den i told her everything...i am so glad tat she believe i am not tat kind of person..maybe bcos i was librarian since sec 3 and work wif her before..so she trust mii...but wad can i do..it seems like my other friends...trust yanling rather den mii...haiz...so tired...don noe wad to do...den i told her i wanted to go home...i cried too much and now i am having a great headache..*actually today before i came to school i already had a headache) den Mdm Chan said if you are innocent then don think too much about it le ..he wanted to hear Yanling story..den she went to find her..and left mii and Pearl...my dad came and fetch mii..the moment i saw my dad...i cried...feeling very WEI QU...den Mr Gopal and Miss Oh comfort mii..and Mr Gopal talk to mii for a while.. The moment i reach home i came straight to the point and ask my mum again and again...i almost went insane and almost quarrel wif her...den she said don believe go find Yanling's mother lor. ( Yanling's mother and my mum were close friends) den i said fine! Den we went down..and my mum told yanling's mum wad happen..and her mum said "she siao de la...den said everytime ppl look at her she tot ppl staring at her..siyin you don care her.." she sounds as thou the gal who create this prob wasnt her daughter...den my mum said when primary school..she don even noe yanling's house nos..how to call and scold her..somemore you think i dare mehx..den yanling's mum oso side on my mum side...and yanling's mum keep saying she siao de la...i was like...is this a joke for the day...since my mum didnt do this den why she said my mum did...den i went home..trying to had a good sleep...but i cant...cos my headache getting worst and my eyes is swollen and i vomited...when i wake up..my sis came back...i ask her..did she scold yanling or write anything in diary saying don bully my sis..tis kind of things..den my sis said..no, who care ur business...yea this is my sis..she wont even care about mi..thou sometimes..the way she care for mii is indifferent from a human.. and tat is y..the moment i heard yanling saying my sis did tis..i cant believe..
No wonder...when Mrs Choo was talking to us..i suggested to call home and verify with my mum...but Mrs Choo ask for Yanling's permission..and she didnt ans..and i keep wanting to know issit true my mum do this...and keep asking Mrs Choo can i call home..Yanling didnt give the ans...smell somethings fishy? I think she is lying..i don noe why thou..haizzz But she like to be suspicious and this..i cant help..

This is the whole summary about what happen today! Everything is true and i nv add any other own word in.

Silence decrease hatred?

2006-08-15T15:34:00.000+08:00

Silence decrease hatred?

Today ii don noe wad to say..but juz in dilema ...don noe wan to retake ma..at 1st when i got back my result i onli think of one option and tat is retake...but today after listening to sooo many comment...i in dilema le..well thou any option i choose is good for mii.. If i choose to retake..den i can get A1 or 2 den at least can lighten my load on other sub...i don nid to focus on my chi tat much even i retake..cos my chi not tat bad la...If i don retake...i can hav more time on other sub rather den chi...and can do beta on other sub too...dilema man..lolx but but but..i went home...ii tink through the night...calling relative for advice...and i make my decision xD i going to retake..i can get A1 or 2 is beta..den if i don play com and use the time to practice the math..i still hab a higher chance to get better grade for other sub! xD

15th of Aug
Today, second times for crying this year...i soooo sadx...sooooo sadx T.T...readers who read my blog..should know who is Irene...she betrayed mii before..i had forgiven her...we became normal friends....this few day my other friends...found tat she lied again...why muz she do this to get attention? Betraying friends...lying to friend to get attention....attention is much more impt than friends? I don noe...she would noe the ans very well....den this few day...my other friends...always talk about Irene...left mii and sooyah...who catch no ball on what they are talking about...but mii and sooyah nv really try to find out wad happen...life stay as simple as possible...so tat uu will live happier...i don noe why...my other friends...the group who is talking about Irene...somebody in the group can be soo happy when talk about Irene thingy..she is so excited..i don noe why..
This few day...after ii am a distance away from them..i become independent..tat's good..at least i can go anywhere alone...without company le..i seldom talk and laugh...seldom talk bcos there is nth for mii to talk..their topic always surround wif Irene...or maybe...bad words about others...i hate..and i would stay a far distance away from tis topic..i seldom laugh...why should i laugh when there is nth interesting or funny in front of mii? It will be stupid or showing i am insane if i laugh like an eediot when nth seems funny..
Today during P.E ...so sianx..haiz...nvm...den during recess..they talk about Irene again..den i jux shut my mouth and eat my food lor...after eating..ii volunteer to buy drink..cos i wan to buy drink too so help others buy lor...convenience ma...after buying...i give them the drinks..and ask sooyah to help mii take care of my drinks...i go wash hand...when i came back from the washroom...qi use the lowest voice say.."siyin is back" den ling say"whr uu gone?" den i was drinking my water..so it take some time for mii to ans her back..den qi say " she go washroom la" den since she ans for mii..i jux nod my head...save my breath. But...during this short conversation...it contained a lot of curiousity and suspect..ii can feel it.. ii can hear it...i...almost wan to cry out...they actually suspecting mii! They suspect ii told Irene what they said...they suspect i very good with Irene...maybe bcos this few day i nv talk to them den they start to suspect...but the truth is..After they told mii Irene lied again...i had already stop talking to her...i don wan the history to repeat..being too close to her is too dangerous...i don wan to be betrayed again...it hurts mii...but wad happen!? The other friends suspect mii... T.T wad the hell is with this world..? Being Silence!!! Being Silence...y y y ?? I shut my mouth up and this is wad i get...Silence cant decrease hatred in this world...talk too much oso can't! Den wad should i do? Dilema...den after recess...i totally wan to burst off...i control..and try to not tink about it...but i cant...when going up to the classroom...i tink should i retake my MT?? Dilema again..with tis kind of things happen...not yet solve...i totally no mood to prepare for O..needless to say..about the Chi..den during math lesson...i suddenly heard my parent's voice..heard them saying "Why muz uu be affected by them? " yes...y muz i be affected...den i make my decision...retake. It is raining during math lesson...rain is pouring..so do my heart...i close the window beside mii and i try to focus...but i cant..when we were doin classwork...i start to sob...den got one drop of tears drop on my worksheet..lolx soo yah who is sittin beside mii saw it and ask mii raindrop arh..den i nod my head..lolx don wan her to know i am crying..but..i really wan to burst out..den i ask soo yah to accompany mii to the washroom...the moment i walk out of the classroom..my tears start dropping..oh man..lolx den i tink she finds something strange about mii..den she saw mii crying...lolx den in the washroom..she totally stunt and scared...maybe..bcos i1st time cry in school bahx..lolx den she 1st time saw mii crying..so she feel abit nervous and don noe wad to do..always pat on my back..and asking mii wad happened and almost wan to cry out too...at 1st...i don really wan to say out de..juz wan to cry out den tat's it..but i say out..i shouldn't hab said tat...but i don really trust her...she betrayed mii b4 too...telling out my secret to ling for more than once...but i trust her tis time..and told her...she comfort mii..thou it doesnt work...cos she knows...how i feel..bcos she is another one who catch no balls on wad the group is talking about...she said i tink too much..but doesnt sound persuasive enough..i noe..she oso don noe wad the group is tinking...den..we went back to classroom..i told her don tell anybody about wad happen..and she promise..den when i in the classroom...ling and shing..i tink they saw mii...thou i already lowered my head..really down until cant see my face..-.- but they still saw it...they comfort mii and gib mii tissue..but i don noe wad to say...my heart is dead to this friendship? I cant gain any trust from them? Den my tears start to roll in my eyeball again...haiz....cry until my head so painx...everytime..when i cry..would ended up sleepin..now..lolx well...i cant slp..the chi tcher came in le..haiz

Special Day

2006-08-11T17:15:00.000+08:00

Special Day

Today is a Special Day xD we getting back our O lvl Chinese result today at 12.10pm xD hah..yd nitex...some of my friends sms mii say he / she couldn't slp cos they are scared...lolx i wonder...why am i so tired and not scared at all -.- i sleep at 9pm xD den early in the morning ii woke up den i feel abit nervous..maybe last year..took N lvl result..i already experience the excitement le bahx..xD hahax today early in the morning..i having a slight fever and great headache and GREAT SORE THROAT xD so i seldom talk today xD den at 12.10pm 4 express and 5 NA student went to the hall to get result..awww 5NA nobody got distinction for Chinese..sianx half..lolx den i got B3 with a oral distinction..den the MT HOD say i can retake cos i got higher chance to get A1 or A2 xD YAY and i going to retake xD heh den after school went to Sooyah's house...so fun today..but the fun ends..when i saw my friend lishing cried..i don noe what happen to her..and my friend yanling nv come for focused test thou she did come to school..i don noe what happen to both of them..and i don expect them to tell mii xD cos i think they don trust mii at all. xD anyway i am happy and tat's enough..don nid to care about others xD

Great Day!!!

2006-08-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

Great Day!!!

7th of Aug 2006
Today was a fun yet tiring day..hahax..well today one of my friend nv come..den between 4 seats..got one is empty..and dam girls always suffer menstration painx..well sometimes...den ling and shing seat together..and i was seating alone..aw so painx...haiz..den i was stunting again xD hahax den i put my head on the table to decrease the painx...ling ask mii whether i am ok..i say no..it is sooo painx..den shing gib mii the panadol for the menstration de...lolx eat le oso no use...and today always feel like slping..hahax..ow den during assembly...almost wan to slp..ling and shing too xD lolx but during CME after assembly...well the tcher is in charge of the N level prelim..so he nv come..and so strange..no relieved tcher nv come too..lolx den shing, ling, teng and mii high again ma....lolx we used the tie to make into skipping rope and jump -.- we use the tie to kidnapped each other...and we run along the classroom corridor and walk here walk there..disturb other 5N class..lolx cool ehx..haiz..when we high we will be like crazy..this is what happen when our class gals start to get high xD lolx den after CME is chinese lesson...maybe jux now play too much...lolx ling, shing and mii passed out siax...we slp for the last 30 minutes..den heard the bell rang..YAY school dismissal..but not for us..haiz...2.30 we got social studies extra lesson..den teng come seat wif us..lolx we nv bother to listen to tcher..well not we badx..is..what she taught we already noe..my my...lolx den we start to plan to make notice board..den Alston and i was in charge ma..lolx well Alston did a great job..really... den i was in charge of the rest...aww den from 3.10pm to 4.30pm lolx den rush to the evening math class...lolx den until 5.45 i finally finish the whole paper 1 xD so i go home happily xD

8th Aug 2006
hahax well everybody knows what event took place today?? National Day celebration!!! SO FUN xD our class was the one who start the ball rolling..all so high today..lolx always make the wave until the tcher can't stand it...xD hahax well the upper sec 4 express and 5 Na sit on the gallery and the rest seat in the hall xD lolx well so funnnnnn!!! The Parade was GREAT xD i enjoy it lolx..all wear the uniform so SMARTLY lolx and the band..so great..really hav the atmosphere xD lolx den after the whole concert we have games..xD actually i don planned to sweat today..lolx but they lack of player -.- den my class only few gals sporty..one nv wear PE Shorts..den i was asked to join -.- well great but ROUGH game..it is soccer..wa..lolx the gal hold my hand while i wan to kick...sweat..lolx but we still win at 1-0 lolx it is a games on sec4 gals against sec 5 gals xD so fun..den win a water bottle..lolx den got the souvenir..a cloth.. xD SO HIGH AND FUN TODAY xD

Enlighten

2006-08-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

Enlighten

Today I feel something indifferent about mii...I suddenly feel happier, feel lighten...no more sadness or burden..maybe bcos i see through le..accept the way it is but still go on..really happy..don noe why i still wan to get back friendship..maybe in this world...a person cant lived alone bahx...alone is the most terrible thing..when a person is alone..he/she is trapped in the dark..anw..i will try to post something meaningful in my blog to enlighten others le ^^ ppl... i think sometimes..something is beta not to take it to heartx...and only that you can live happier ^^

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think tat he/she doesn't miss u?
Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling.U will be sitting around wondering if umeant anything to him/her.Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.
Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.
Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs.
Sitting in front of the television but thinking of her missing the final episode of your favourite show.
Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u went out together.
Thinking of how nice it will be to situnder the stars again,talking about everything, your dreams, plans,future.
Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.
When u realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page,u will start worrying if he/she is okay.
Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess.It exposes u to loneliness.It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.
Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.
But missing someone and not knowing ifhe/she is feeling the same is terrible.U feel as if u are being left alone.So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.At the same time, ask if they miss u.
Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoid.If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know.if u miss him/her too, tell them.Don't let them wait

Light in my life

2006-08-03T19:43:00.000+08:00

Light in my life

Today went to school....sooo sianx..don noe why soooo tired early in the morning thou the school had planned to start later at 7.30pm..lolx can you imagine..you study in that school for almost 5 years and you always woke up earliest bcos your school start at 7.05am!!! Crap! Holy Crap! lolx now my last year in tat school..den the principal change the timing...SOOOO GOOOD arh!!
Anw...i so tired today tat i hack to open my mouth and talk..suddenly i found myself like to stunt at the open space..don noe why..haix lolx den went into the classroom my friend..pristal..pull my table with the other 2 friends..and become 4 tables in one row..lolx but the period b4 recess i really lazy to open my mouth and talk lehx..so lor, i diam diam..but after recess..maybe bcos after having my breakfast..i got energy to talk le..den can crap a bit of joke la...lolx so friend if you today talk to mii, i nv ans..really hope you can understand! My friend...well i think i should buck up and not think too much about friend this thingy le..jux treasure them bahx..don care whether they left you alone and talk to other friends..don care whether they backstab or betrayed you..don care whether they got care for you..your life still hab to go on...life is too mystery for everyone..you wont noe wad is going to happen the next day..so do cherish everyday and cherish the one you care!
Today during math lesson..our math tcher start the lesson wif a story..lolx well at least it wont be so boring la..and the story is about Jews!! The morale of the story is The greatest punishment is the ...oh man... i forgot le...Zzz nvm...den the second is Cherish everyday, everyone you think worth it!!
Today went home..listening to the CD i bought den look at all the msg i receive from my friends...suddenly saw a light in my life...
Well i am trying to forget all the sadness..and back to cheerful...my friend is now ok with mii...other den one friend...i don noe wad she wan la...but i don gib a hack on her..jux fuck off man! LOL other den her..i hope other friend treat mii as friend truthfully...and don crap and backstab mii with tat girl!! Smile Always

Tired of LivinG

2006-08-02T14:30:00.000+08:00

Tired of LivinG

ha!!!! Today nv go to school, hate school life!!! Cos when i nid to go to school, i would saw them!! Well it clearly shows that i am running away from them, well who cares! I don gib a hack! Jux feeling sianx when i nid to see them again! Life Sux!
Lolx..but you noe..when u don feel like going to school, you go polyclinic, it is cheapest there..den you had to wait for 4 hours! Why so long? Because it it cheapest clinic in Singapore! Therefore mani ppl would go there when they are sick!
Lolx from morning 8 am + step out of the house...12pm+ den reached home...still the same like going to school! Sianx!!! Zzz sooooo tired..how i wish i can jux sleep like this and not wake up...how i wish i can end my life and no more troubles..how i wish...sooo sianx! Being a human is sooo tired..sooo tired..haix...Zzz

I WONT Trust Anybody AGAIN!!!

2006-08-01T17:43:00.000+08:00

I WONT Trust Anybody AGAIN!!!

I am lost in this world, i am shutting myself in this world, why is it sooo hard to be a human!!!! Being a nice person, ppl betrayed you, being a bad person, ppl backstab you..soo what is this? Life is so miserable, if this is really what a PRACTICAL world is about..this is sooo pathetic....
This year...maybe bcos of O lvl, will sometimes feel stressed..somemore O lvl is getting nearer as day passes by...i got tense up, mood swing now and den, shut myself in my own world and being sensitive to any single things..i am going to get crazy...and yet my friend betray me!
Friends! Friends sux, they aren't perfect at all! When you have friends..sometimes you will feel friend as burden, thou sometimes you hab good and happy times with them, and you would always console yourself to think about the good times you had with them...but wad for? Face the fact tat sometimes friend may cause burden in ur life...ur life will be out of rhythm, friend are human too! They can backstab you, betray you anytime if they are unhappy with you. I seen one quote " If friend betrayed you 1st time, it is their fault BUT if friend betrayed you 2nd time...it is your fault!" yea, as you can see! The previous blog i post i got betrayed how many times le? Excluding those little betrayed tat they did and i hack to wrote in the blog...more than 10 fingers! Yea it is my fault! I don noe how to mix wif good friend, i don noe how to control friendship! I always tot that friends will share happiness and saddness wif you! You can depend on them when you are in depressed..i am wrong! totally!!! and i am disappointed by them again and again! Lost in this blood hell world! What kind of world is this!? Is it real that ppl became selfish and cold blooded when they step into this society? How pathetic!
It is sickening, to see friend spying you and tell other friend wad you said, wad you do! I am not superstar! neither an artist! Stop being so childish! It's fine if you tell other wad i said, i am used to it! Used to this life but please said the true sentence i said and don add on those stupid eediot words and change the whole meaning of the sentence and get mii in trouble! I don hab time for any trouble! And other friends..if you gonna believe i am tat kind of person who would said those words, rather believe those people rather den mii..den you are jux an eediot!
Everytime when you don feel like going to school...well mainly is bcos stressed and education..but for mii...i getting tired of school life...not bcos of education i cant cope wif, not bcos stressed...but tried to get along wif ppl..around mii...being fake! I hate it! I hate this kind of life. My mentality..try to control, if cant control den jux "explode" but this few day...i tried to control, try to get back my cheerful self, try to laugh and joke wif them...but i cant...whenever i try to get happy...those unhappy and got betrayed sadness came to my mind..and i am down again..so this few day i become a mute....the only person i will talk to is teacher and is when i wan to ask qns i don noe how to do..
Today...i suddenly wan to cheer myself up..bcos i think...that life is neither too long nor too short for mii...i should treasure...however..my friend hahax my friend...their attitude to me...is FAKE! They cold toward mii..yet still tried to act like they are still my friend...wad for act so cheerful i think to myself and den i am down again...if you feel tat being my friend is so tiring or wad eva reason! Don be my friend..i am happier den...at least lesser ppl to betray me! I don nid any ppl sympathy, i am alone! I love myself! That's all i learnt! I will not trust any ppl again! Other den my parent, siblings and cousin, I WONT TRUST ANYBODY AGAIN!

Friendship...such a difficult word

2006-07-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

Friendship...such a difficult word

Numb to this word "Friendship"...numb to what they did to mii..maybe i am born to this fate, this is my destiny...i am not pessimistic..i am brave enuff to face the true fact. I am optimistic le..compared to those who cried when their friend betrayed them, i still can smile and laugh wif them...isn't this call optimistic? well maybe this is call "fake"..years passed, everytime i fake myself, ii will tend to forget the true self that i hab...well is this a good thing or bad thing? Dilema.. -.- haix...ii had been "trained" by them to become a emotionless person..no feeling..-.- tired really tired...this kind of friendship...they can smile with you and behind talk so mani stupid things about you...don you feel fed up? Well fine fine, ii don care at all...i had so mani things for them to talk about mii? Tell mi! I wan to noe! U can tell mii, if it's true, i will admit and change, but don ever said things behind ppl back..sometimes, not they don noe...is jux, they pretend nth happen..and wish that their friend wasnt the one who said that....which means..they don wish to face the fact that their friends backstab them...fine...haix...fine...really i feeling very very tired over this things, i feeling very stupid over this thing...cant you guys jux tell mii wad i do, that there is sooo mani things for uu guys to say? Friends..sometimes..they aren't trustworthy as you think they are...and this make mii hurtx..deeply hurtx..can you imagine...FRIENDS around you..turn up to be spy, hey that feeling, great ya? Wasn't it fun? Or was it childish??

Today same like Monday...i went home at 6 pm..sooo tired...imagine...you go to school at 7am...study until 1.55pm..in between 25 mins break...den from 2.45 to 3.45pm eng remedial..den 4.30 to 5.45pm evening class..actually is till 6.30...lucky the tcher still hab thoughts on we students..unlike the principal @#$%!# think we god mehx, pls lor, ask us strive hard for "O" lvl oso not like that de lor...he think we god arh, not tired de arh! DAM HIM! Den...in evening class...totally no mood to do the worksheet but lucky...i managed to focus..sianx..most qns don noe how to do..sadx..i almost cried out..thinking how useless i am...tired tired tired..ltr i gtg do bio..sianx FYS mux finish all the bio..still got one more worksheet....Zzz

lolx den during geography lesson..there is something stupid and blur thing i had done -.- sianx..lolx kkx this is wad happen -.- : today during geo lesson..tcher gave back the focused test we had done during racial harmony ( imagine..lolx racial harmony day..still got focused test after school..sianx) den onli a few passed i think..den tcher quite unhappy..lolx and the most eediot things is..i nv even study for the focused test and ii passed...ii was watching "the maid" in sooyah's hse b4 focused test with the rest of my friend..i jux applied wad ii had learnt in class..and wad i rmb..lucky passed..lolx den tcher say wan to do one worksheet and it seems like nobody took foolscap down, so i go up and took my foolscap and supply for others...and i heard one of my classmate calling mii..i tot he wan foolscap oso..so i jux go up and take my foolscap and when i came down...the guy's friends asked mii for tat guys pencil case..lolx den i sae.."huh?!" oh man...i didnt heard him said he wan his pencil case...maybe ii am thinking on some prob and nv take note..den i distribute to the rest of classmate hu nid foolscap..when i settle down..ii suddenly feel guilty to tat guy..and sorry for not taking his pencil case...den in order to repent my mistake ii go up and take again...-.- den in class the history tcher saw mii go up 2 times..ask mii whether i finished taking wad i wan anot...lolx oh man..dam paiseh lor...den ii faster took the guy's pouch and rush down...durin the journey form classroom to geo room...i open the pouch to see if the pencil case is inside..and dam...inside other den hard disk and wire...NO PENCIL CASE...alamak...den i was like...don noe wad to do...whether to go in to geo room...or go back classroom and take the pencil case...haix...almost wan to cry out..why today so blur....my mind only contained those troubled things tat it make mii...confused...haix...den no choice i had to admit..well ii am the one who took the wrong things...ii should say sorry to the guy..den go in geo room..i look at the guy..and say sorry...i gave him...den suddenly geo tcher ask mii to take the pouch i took from classroom to give her..oh man..i scared till death...i tot she gg to confiscate the hard disk...T.T den i sooo scared...if that is the case ii didnt help the guy to take the pencil case instead...got his hard disk confiscated...den i was nervous and got scolded by tcher...she asked mii..is the hard disk tat impt...god noes...i didnt noe it was a hard disk at the beginning when i took it...den lucky the guy...help mii to tell tcher is misunderstanding...actually i wan to help him take pencil case..but end up taking the hard disk...oh man...soooooo blurr and paisehhhhh lor -.- sianx...haix...thinking all those troubled things really make mii cant focused...-.-

what is friendship?

2006-07-25T16:37:00.000+08:00

What Is Friendship??

Today went to school...feeling my head is as heavy as a tonnes and tonnes of stone...ytd nitex..some unhappiness happened btw my mum and mii... ii came home late...at 6pm like tat..den she suddenly showed mii "black face"..ii sianx half lor..however still act cheerful and don took what she showed to mii in heartx...
.this year..don noe wad happen..always quarrel wif her..last time wont like tat one lehx...den she suddenly like crazy like tat...don noe which eediot told her when i am outside i don wan to go home and see my mum and dad..and the funny things is...i nv said this sentence b4 lorx..how can she like tat...trust other more than her own daughter...i cried and cried...Zzz i suspect somebody! and it's not convenience to say her name out..this make mii start to lose trust in this word called Friendship...haix so tired

...den in the morning, i tot i was alright...but it doesn't seem so..i almost cried out in school...but lucky i able to control well...went to toilet and wash up my face..sianx found my table and shing table "disappear" den noe it is shifted to other classroom..i went to take it..den don noe wad happen to shing...she went to toilet wif teng for almost 1 lesson and more..den when she come back..i suddenly wan to cry again -.-

nvm...Zzz den is P.E. today 2.4 run ma -.- sianx..head is painx..but lucky i managed to pass..and the most eediot things is...i ran 1 more round ma...-.- i got 16.40 timing...sianx..actually can get 16.00 de...zzz wad the hell...ii headache den nvm take note how mani rounds i ran..dotx...but well it's fine..at least i passed and don nid to run anymore...if not i really scared of P.E -.- lazi to run ehx..

It was fun!!

2006-07-23T15:21:00.000+08:00

It Was Fun!!!

22nd of July 2006
Today went to City Hall with my friends...and before we went there...my friend helped mii to put up a make-up which is strange to mii..cos i nv put up make up b4 -.- lolx den went to chc with them...and had service and warm welcome from the rest of the members..the pastor had a meaningful talk on marriage wif us..and after the service..we went to bedok..the market there to eat..yum yum..lolx den bought some chicken wing for my mum , bro and sis to eat xD

23rd of July 2006
Today went to East Coast to cycle..lolx it was fun there...almost cycled to Changi Airport ma...lolx Quan Quan mama and papa...and of cos, my bro, jia yi and quan quan...oh man...cycle till my butt painx xD lolx fun journey..b4 we ride bic, we were putting the kite..it was my 1st time siax...so fun...after we cycle, we eat mac...den return the bike and go home..oh man...lolx we cycle and cycle..Zzz you imagine...everytime..when you sadx, angry, unhappy..you wanted to go east coast and shout to the sea...now uu are at east coast but you unable to shout out....Zzz but feeling beta...cos ii am away from the city for hrs..not so stress..but you imagine...we living at the city feeling tat going to east coast to shout bcos of stress would feel beta..den wad abt ppl living in east coast when they are stress?? What would they do?? Go to city? Vice versa? lolx well it's a difficult qns..ii will think about it...

High Day

2006-07-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

High Day

Today soooooo fun....hahax..after recess, during art lesson..oh man..my friend and i totally high!!!! like hell..keep laughing like an eediot -.- lolx...anw is a fun day today!!!

Today is the day, 'O' level chinese oral...OMG!!! hahax..well who wouldn't feel scared and nervous about it. And dam the topic come out is the topic i nv even take a look or even predict it will come out -.- argh..lolx den i tot i am going to fail terribly cos i didnt really say much -.- den i went home...Zzz sianx..i go straight to my room, not even looking at my mum and my bro, i went to take a bath and locked myself in the room doing my homework..
And yea today during recess, my friend and i went to look for that 4 gals who bully my sis..in the end things settle..cos there is some misunderstanding so the gal do this..lolx WTH, this 4 gals are jux showing on childish and ignorance they are. Well nvm things settle mean settle.
While i am doin my homework, my chinese teacher suddenly called my handphone..lolx den she asked me..easy? Den tok to her for a while..what she asked me on whether i got said this or that, mostly i got said..so i hope everything would be fine..hope i can pass >.<

WatcH ouT

2006-07-12T18:29:00.000+08:00

wAtcH OuT!

Just went to my sis blog to take a look and saw wad my sis had been suffering in school this two days when i nv go to school. TMD that C`B gal in her class bully her mahx..kaox den she come home diam diam locked in the room nv sae, ask her wad happen she shout back say nth. WTF nobody knows until she willing to say or when i go to take a look at her blog. Dammit..she did told me this morning, but i didnt expect it to be tat worst! Tmr that 4 C`B fcuking gal is going to get it from mi. They will see! How crazy i am, when they bully my sis, anw it is my last year in that school, no big deal.

I really cannot take it on how unfair my mum and my dad is! My bro scold vulgar they diam diam and is that fcuking eediot wrong! Then i scold back, they scold me! WTF is this? And now my friend, you telling me guys suffer!? LOL joke! From my situation wad kind of suffer did my bro get?! Sometimes suddenly like gone crazy like tat anyhow beat me, he doesnt seem to be a GOOD bro to me. NO WAY! Kaox , so what he is good, jux one or two times in lifetime la. Sometimes i even got the possibility of being beaten dead! BY HIM!

Then he at there keep askin me to turn off the computer..wtf..i juz play lor! He take his time to count into my time and said the computer already on very long le! I JUZ PLAY OK! Den he at thr KPKB..den my friend, you should know, if it wasnt my wrong i will say back de ma. Then he slapped my face, kaox, painx de lor, den i scold him vulgar den my mum slapped me -.-

WAD KIND OF FAMILY IS THIS!? I SHOUT BACK DEN MY MUM SLAPPED MY FACE AGAIN. DEN I VERY DULAN..NEAR INSANE..I SAID, KILL ME, SLAPPED ME TO DEATH, I DON CARE ABOUT THIS KIND OF LIFE I AM HAVING, BEING BORN IN THIS WORLD TO ME IS A MISTAKE! I SHOULDNT HAB BORN IN TIS WORLD! THINKING WAD I AM SUFFERING SINCE I WAS A KID, I SHOULDNT HAB BORN IN THIS WORLD, DEN I WONT BE SO SUFFERING UNTIL NOW. DEN MY MUM SAY DON USE DIE TO THREATEN HER, DEN I SAID, SLAPPED ME TILL I DIE LA, BEAT ME TILL I DIE, I DON CARE ABOUT THIS KIND OF FCUKIN LIFE! DEN MY MUM SAY WAN DIE GO DIE LA! DEN I STAND UP FROM THE CHAIR AND DASH TO GO OUTSIDE I WISH I COULD JUX JUMP DOWN FROM THE BUILDING, REALLY JUX JUMP DOWN, MY LIFE END, I WONT BE SUFFERING! DEN MY MUM HOLD ME AND DEN MY MUM STRANGLE ME, I WAS THINKING AT TAT TIME..YA STRANGLE ME TILL I DIE, I WISH I DIE. DEN MY MUM SLAP ME AGAIN. NVM, SHE DON KILL ME, I GOT WAY TO DIE! JUST WAIT! ONE DAY I WILL BE ON THE ROAD OR DOWN THE BUILDING! JUZ WAIT!

again??

2006-07-10T18:57:00.000+08:00

Again??

Today nv go to school..lolx i think my form tcher will get angry again asking why i always nv go to school.
But today is different...zzz ytd nitex..i start vomiting what i ate, dam.. it was suffering. Then i tot i got vomit medicine at hme cos i last time got food poisoning like what i wrote in the previous previous post..but i start to vomit again after i ate the medicine at abt 7pm + den i really cannot take it , i ate the medicine again at 10pm + ..Zzz and i vomit again! Kaox..why so suay lehx?? Den this morning, my dad, mum and bro accompany me to see doctor..oso go to the food court near the clinic to eat breakfast. Zzz w8 and w8..so long. finally is moii turn. Doctor took my temperature..lolx got high fever. Doctor said i got food poisoning!!! Again!!?? lolx den he said..however..if the pain at my colic and stomach doesnt get beta, muz go back to see him immediately cos..i got a chance of getting "mang chang yan" lolx..2nd time tio food poisoning -.- den the doctor gib mi two days mc..he said within this 2 days, if i got painx badly mux go back see him.

After rain there will be rainbow. Issit true?

2006-07-08T11:03:00.000+08:00

After rain there will be rainbow. Issit true?

After rain(obstacles), there will be rainbow. Issit true? Maybe...but don ever forget the exist of the rainbow cos there is really rainbow in this world. 7 colours- red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.
My grandma suddenly good to be, smile to me, tok to mii, i was surprise but happy. Grandma wont be around at my hse for 2-3 weeks. Suddenly had a strange feeling. Suddenly miss her ehx -.- she going to have an operation on her eyes..cos there is something wrong with her eyes.
Last Tuesday i think..i did not went to school. I don noe why..suddenly had a despised feeling about going to school. Feeling stress i think. lolx den i told my mum i don wan to go. In the end..i use my own money go see doctor jux to buy a MC!! Actually not don wan to go...is jux.feeling headache. After seeing the doctor, and doctor give mi a medicine to let my feel relax. haix
Man, it had been decade since i said and keep asking my mum " why am i a girl?" "why you gib birth to mi as a girl?" oh man..how i wish i can be a guy! Zzz girl is born to suffer! Gals have to suffer every month for particularly 5 days! Have to suffer the painx at first when doin sexual intercourse. Have to suffer the pain when giving birth to a child. And wad a guy do? Jux accompany by the gal side. But do you tink accompany by gals side who lighten her painx? No! In the end, SOME heartless guy would dump the gal bcos she is not good. Forgeting all the pain a girl suffer for him. And this kind of guys are called " Dam Fucker"
Though guys is suffering too, eg, being a breadwinner to the family..but hey, this kind of thing, as a gal oso can do! Gals oso can survive without guys. Since that is the case, y is gal suffering more than a guy?? Isn't this unfair?
Anw thanks for all the comforting msg! Thanks my friend ^^ i am fine now!

Tired Siaz

2006-07-02T16:42:00.000+08:00

Tired Siaz

1st of July 2006
Today was a tiring dae..lolx we ( Sardine, Ah ker, my bro, my sis and i ) went to play bball..zzz it's been decade since i play bball..lolx but it was fun..Long time nv play bball wif them le. Den it was tiss funny thing -.- on the 1st match i got hit by the ball on my left eye..den on 3rd match i got hit by the ball on my right eye...think is to balance it bahx..lolx den during the match i always got surrounded and push down..bcos they wan to snatch the ball..lolx all violent..i mean sardine, ah ker and my sis. Diaox..anw today match i always got hit la..sooo suay de. Den my balls always gt snatch away by ah ker bcos of his long hand and leg..-.- always blocked mi when i wan to shoot, bcos 1st is his height..so tall...zzz or shld i sae i am short? lolx anw great game we had!

2nd of June 2006
Today went to jp..actually wan to go buy the naruto forehead protector but in the end i didnt buy it..bcos cannot find T_T den my sis and i wif quan quan walk around jp..omg..i nv found tat taking care of a kid while shopping is such a tiring job >.<>

Do you understand my painx?

2006-07-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

Do you understand my painx?

This few day..everything doesn't seem right to me. Everything had changed...change ....I am totally stressed out..my temper is getting from bad to worst..ii cant tolerate things that is minor nowadays..i had changed..ppl around mi had changed. I realise if i were to keep everything in heartx i going to get berserk or insane. This few day keeping everything..my sorrow..my anger..all things crampled in my heartx..i m suffering and therefore..dear diary..i going to write out all my thought in tis post! Whether or not i offend uu, i got to say, i am really very sorry..

I am sadx tis few dae..firstly is my grandma..she had the rights to scold me BUT is when i had done something wrong..with no reason..got scolded..who would feel good? Nobody..Don scold me when u did not get things clear. If i did something wrong, u scold me, i don mind, but if you don make things clear and scold me..i don like, i hate, i wan to shout out my stand..but i cant..no matter wad..she is elderly..i shldnt be rude..i really cant take it! I don like ppl to misunderstand me! I don like ppl to care so much abt me or i would wan ppl to care more abt me. But so wad u ask me " how are you?" or " what happen to you?" ..if i tell you..is everything bad that happen in my life going to change to something good? NO! It's jux wasting my time. You may sae...sae out..you will feel beta..all rubbish..to me..it wont help..not a single bit tat i feeling beta after i sae out..not a single bit.

Stressed in school work..all things i cant cope wif..the subject i weak in..i may not express that out..i always told my mum and dad..i am stress..really..but wad is their ans? " you don look stress..still can play computer..where got stress " From surface, my family maybe cheerful..people are envy..but they don noe..inner side of my family..thou sometimes my grandma make me angry, my mum and dad will console me..they are understanding parent..i am happy..at least somebody understand..but other than that..sometimes..i found it hard to communicate wif them..i told them truth, they giv me the ans..disappoint me. Stress cant play computer? So i shld act like a nerd toking to myself then they noe i am stressed and going insane?? Is this the way they wan? I laugh and smile too much..sometimes they think i am joking..but they forget..i had my serious self..i told them b4..no use..so wasting my saliva onli.

Everybody had their own problem..i really wan some care and concern thou i may look strong in my outer self..I really wish some care from my friends. I am sadx..really..my friend doesn't care or take note of me..especially my best friend. I noe..they have their own problem...i don had high hope..they would show concern to me. I found myself useless..really useless...i am so useless..so untrustable that my friend don tell me their problem or secret..i really wish my best friend would depend more on me..i am so sadx and disappointed..when i saw her telling others her problem..rather den me.

I am useless person so wad and why am i born in tis world. I found myself like a hindrance to anybody. I born wif scar on my eye when i was 1 year old. I hate, hate the world to be so unfair when ppl ask mi, wad happen to ur eye..why issit different from others. I hate my life to be so unlucky...i am born to be betrayed by friend? To get scolding of vixen because of some misunderstanding? I really wan to noe..y am i born in tis world...if there is god..plz gib me an ans. I suddenly found my life to be so useless..i don hab any potential. You had told me..the past is the past..let bygone be bygone..forget and strive on..time doesnt wait. Yea i noe wad you mean..i am trying to forget..but the scar in my heartx not going to be erase! It's easy to say! BUT it is hard to do. SO i shld tell you guys, stop wasting ur saliva on those comfort that doesnt work at all! I trying to forget and tat's y i am trying to make myself look cheerful and don let ppl hu care for me to worry for me!

My hand is still in pain..who would notice there is a scar on my hand...3 days ago..my grandma..scold me again..tat time..i really almost cant control of myself..that i wan to beat..her...lucky i control myself and i went to my bro bedroom where there is a sandbag hanging..i beat the sandbag until my hand started bleeding...Suddenly realise..why there are so mani ppl hurting themselves when they are angry..because at least hurting themselves can ease the anger and painx they suffer from.. Today...before i went to focuse test..my grandma again...i really cant stand it..and before i step out of the hse..i told my mum this " If this is going to continue for month..i goin to move out of the hse, if not i going to go insane. I going to be like tiff! Someday!" Friends reading tis shld noe wad i am toking abt..and i walked to school..hitting things that appear before my eyes..lamp post..walls..anything...i suddenly found that..i really going to be insane..and that is why..been so mani days i nv update..i going to update now. Update and don keep everything in my heartx..if not i really going to be in mental hospital. Don ever ask me " how are you?" I really don noe wad to ans..i am fine? no not fine at all..i wan to shout..shout out all my grieve!!!

LUCKY YR

2006-06-15T20:24:00.000+08:00

LUCKY YR

ARGH~~!!!!!!! WAD HAPPEN TISS YR Zzzzzzzzz........tiss yr mii soooooo LUCKY yr siax.....zzzz sianx...1st is MY FIRST TIME TIO FOOD POISONING..............NOW IS MY SCHOOL BAG LOST IN JP!!!!! Wa kao...y so suay de.....inside contain...library book...mp3 player...my hse key ( which i don noe...until i reach hme..no key to open door..den i realise...my key is in the bag....) SIANX HALF...y the ah peh like my bag soooo much arh -.- ...lost in Macdonald...

firstly...i don feel sadx...but..no feeling...still can crap joke..and my friend tot i too stressed...until become insane...ehx...i don even cry...no tears...no drop of tears come out from my eyes...omg..lolx diaox...i really become tearless person...ever since the incident tat happen 3 yrs ago.....lolx but to mii...at tat point of time..i think...instead of crying..there is mani things to do..instead of wasting my time crying..den i try to look for tat uncle which my friend said..she saw him standing behind mii..so i suspect is he hu stole it!!! Den i look for the uncle she describe...i look for security...i go customer service...i call police...ended up nth was found...my dad called mii and ask mii go hme..he said..it is hard to find back..even if it was found...my mp3 player is gone....Zzz T_T nvm nvm....uu noe...i was as calm as i tot...and tat surprises mii...if ii m not calm...i would be ended up crying le -.-

When i went back hme....my mum gib mii black face..as if i wan to lost my bag....den my grandma ask my father to beat mii -.- wa kaox....wtf is tiss....zzz den my mum said...for sure....my other relative will noe tiss incident..in few weeks time..cos my grandma..-.-

argh T_T pathetic

2006-06-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

argh T_T pathetic

todae...is the most terrible and tiring dae to mii...I suddenly woke up at 3pm tiss morning...and started to vomit and stomachache...zzz food poisoning...and it onli stop when i see doctor and got 2 injection -.- on my butt...ouchx...painx nehx..zzz
I very scared of injection...since i was a little gal...bcos...i got more injection den a normal child -.- noe y...lolx bcos of tat stupid doctor..sae my heartx got prob..lolx den 1 week at least 1 to 2 injection..
T_T now still painx lehx...zzz but feeling beta..zzz i totally restless...and weak bcos i don hab a good slp! And doctor sae...got virus invaded my body...tat's y...somemore i got high fever...lolx dam..mii so lucky ehx...1st time tio food poisoning. Anw thx to those relatives and my family tat care sooo muchx for mii...my grandma..she help mii apply axe oil...to feel beta..so touching >.<
uu noe...lolx the most interesting thing ish..at 1st i wan to go see a doc at 800+ block..den ya la..the doctor may come late...my stomah start to ache badly..and i almost faint..no choice..my dad bring mii to gek poh clinic on the second floor de..zzz tired...and painful..wan to sleep, but tat aching make mii..buay tahan..den got 2 injection from doctor..and he said...if still not okie tiss 2 days..come back and i hab to get dropping of glucose..cos i totally lack of nutrients now! Sianx...now my breakfast...lunch...and dinner...hab to eat plain porridge..zzz wif onli soya sauce! Eek...zzz no oily food for mi, spicy food is out of my food catergory...zzz sianx...

FrienDs?

2006-06-07T11:08:00.000+08:00

FrienDs?

What is friends for? Is friends really tat impt? I noe, sometimes it is hard for uu to ask ur friend to be somebody perfect, tat can care for uu when uu r troubled, sadx, angry...they arent god, human r sooo imperfect...uu cant categories ur friend in catergory for tiss will make them not whom they r, they will leave uu when times goes...
I m sadx, angry or wadeva...vexed...tiss few dae...i really wish i don noe any of the friend i noe nowadays...alone is beta, i m used to be alone anyway...friend suddenly become a burden to mii...not showing how they care...when i m sadx or vexed...is beta to not hab...cos tiss show how good my friends is ehx? It disappoint mii.
Yea...mani times my friends told mii " uu r now quite sociable at least beta den ii 1st noe uu when uu seems to lock urself in ur own world." lolx...yea...i m sociable to some extent..sociable to friend i noe..i m still locking myself in the cage, does any of them noe?
I always feel tat maybe i will be beta last time, don nid to trouble for others, my own troubled, i will solve it myself and not depend on friends. Sometimes when we hab friends, we start to be very dependent on friends! And tat doesnt make mii grow for i use to be independent on my own last time! Suddenly nid friend to accompany everywhere i go...i become a person i don recognised. tat's not mii! I m not like tiss last time =/
nvm...zzz nth to do...jux writing out my feelings...

ARHHH

2006-06-03T17:41:00.000+08:00

ARHHH

AHHHHHH~~~~~ MAN i will die of high blood pressure or heart attack, or even blood vessels burst...GRRRR...zzz i m so angry...A BAD COMMUNICATION WIF THE ELDERS!!!! Kaox, wtf think i wan mehx, i already tried my best to tolerate le lor..nt i don care her, is i care her in different way..den ya la, tell all my others relative i don care her one..wakao, kill mi! IF not i gg to die of heart attack! BEI QI SI!!!

RelieVed i TinK

2006-06-02T14:42:00.000+08:00

RelieVed i TinK

Today is the most tiring dae to mii..lolx
Firstly, my grandma come to my hse and stay ^^ YAY lolx she slp wif mii, my sis slp master room...lolx ytd was a happi nitex, i tok to my grandma..lolx thou there was some communication prob, cos i don noe how to speak her language, while or shld i sae, i can speak but don speak well =/ kkx, i love my grandma lots and lots ^^ both of my grandma rox ehx lolx YES THEY ROX!!! Today so tired and headache..actually i don wan to go for today lesson..it had been continually 1 week...go to skool at 8.30am...the earliest to go hme is 12.30..lolx haix somemore today 8 ppl nv come so good ~.~
I quitted maple..but i don feel sadx..rather den sadx, i feel quite relieved xD yepx..maybe maple is jux a burden to mii. Making friends in a game..well I can say is fun..but ar those friend nice ppl? I find hard to ans =x kkx, to wad i experience..those friend in maple..particularly some..I would feel so sadx =/ to make friend wif them..mainly is bcos scared and sadx due to some thing they express or sae bahx =/
I m a anti social person but to friend i made wif in maple..they don believe cos i crap too much? lolx but really..maybe bcos is behind the screen, i don noe u, u don noe mii, tat's y i feel safe to sae everything tat comes in my mind, my feeling and all...but they are still friend which i made behind the computer screen. on9 friend cant possible stay forever friends..bcos you don really noe wad kind of person he is..maybe you noe him in games or internet for 2 yrs..but do u really noe wad kind of person he is in tiss 2 yrs time? The ans is NO. To get to noe a person is a very difficult tasks, even if u had a friend in real life..it took at least decade to understand each other beta..wad's more an internet friends when you and him is onli communicating thru games or maybe sms...
Sms can be a tool for friendship but when it makes you believe you are falling for a person you do not see face to face it becomes dangerous. Words can be so misleading. What is his character like? Is he a caring person..these are important factors you need to noe..but none of tiss qns can be explored via sms, don they?
Beta den troubled by all tiss stupid thingy...i wish to hab peace..and tat's y i decided to quit maple and sell my acc to others. Y muz sell? Bcos the pass few months..i had been saying i wan to quit and ended up training from 70-96 lvl -.- lolx if i were to sell, tat buyer change password, i cant log in, and yahoo! NO more games for mii. My life is happier ^^

TIRED!!!

2006-05-30T18:03:00.000+08:00

TIRED!!!

29th of MAy 2006
Today is a special day. I m having 'O' lvl chi today..wad can i sae abt tiss examination? Easy? Okie? To mii is all crap, cos...when i sae it is easy..sometimes wad i get back..the result..lolx pathetic..when i sae it is not fine..the result come out...i actually pass..lolx ridiculous ehx. lolx haix but not always lik tat de la..sometimes i say easy the result oso very "nice" de lehx...ha

30th of May 2006
Zzz wake up at 6.30am..sianx gtg skool..lolx morning 8.30-10.30 eng remedial...11-12.30 bio extra lesson...1.45-4.30 Eng prelim oral...arh..i m tired lolx...can u imagine...the 3rd week..zzz all art student muz go back to skool from mon to fri..9am-5pm arhhhhh....8 hrs...don noe wad to do abt art...headache again..sianzation...

lolx tmr..gg to farewell party @ 5 den after tat go watch movie wif my friends..den 1st of June, hab cousin gathering(galz onli) at KTV..lolx tiss week...nxt week...3rd week...i m fully packed..wif skool matters and personal matters XD ha excited nehx..lolx

HapPineSs

2006-05-28T08:30:00.000+08:00

HapPineSs

Hahax...wtf...the principle turn over new leaf?? omg...on fridae nitex, mit the parent session, after mitting my form tcher, we(my mum, the baby and i) went up to the stage, yepx, i was carrying the baby...he onli say 2 sentence: Math muz pass. Humanities muz pass. After tat, he ask the translator to translate to my mum...hahax guess wad..after translating he said ty and can go le. At 1st i stunt..since when his mouth become soooo" clean" in a way...=x lolx den my mum and i keep laughing along the way hme. LOL omg...so funny lor...lucky ehx wahaha.
Today is my mum and my dad 21st anniversary, we gg to celebrate XD hahax
OH man..ytd i was lik a pig lik tat..slp and eat medicine, slp and eat medicine..Zzz the moment i woke up is already time to eat medicine..den went back to slp again ><
kkx write until here le...
WISHING ALL MY FRIENDS HU IS TAKING CHINESE O LEVEL TMR, ALL THE BEST ><

P.S TISS FEW DAE GOT AN EEDIOT DISTURBING MY LIFE..SENDING MII DISGUSTING MSG. I CALL TAT NOS TO WARN TAT FUCKER!!! BUT HE REFUSE TO LISTENED. ALL PLS TAKE NOTE OF TISS NOS : 92476869!!!!

Achievement

2006-05-26T14:07:00.000+08:00

AchieveMent

hahax todae sooo excited...7 "netball player" went up to the stage and got the trophy..

tiss is the trohy..hahax, greatx ehx

today...at 4pm++ i think...mit the parent session, my parent gg to mit the principal...sianx...wtf, act like he so free to mit so mani parent. My class, 32 ppl, onli 4 don nid to mit Principle. And "my" principal...very sarcastic de lor...wad he said i used to it le, cos listened to his words for 5 yrs, but not my parent. My parent...they ar fresh in it =x ? lolx and thru dos word the "principal" gg to say to my parent..i don tink i will hab a good nitex tonitex =/ kaox haix don tink anymore...

FreAkinG DaY

2006-05-22T15:18:00.000+08:00

FreAkinG DaY

21st May 2006
Today was a bad bad dae for mii ='(
Tiss few dae, i will totally get annoyed in any small little matter, thou i had made my way of life rule no 1. Don ever vent anger to innocent party such as family and friends, cos they are not the main cause of making mii angry....but tiss few dae, maybe bcos of lacking of slp, and headache, I tend to get angry easily. Tiss are wad happen todae... : My family and I would normally eat dinner together on Sunday. But bcos my bro and dad not hungry so my mum say dinner eat noodles! She went to grandma hse when i was asleep, and when i woke up, I was hungry..lolx imagine, u from morning till 3pm still haben eat, wont u feel hungry? Den I call my mum and she ask mii to go eat biscuits, k, i listen to her and eat biscuits...den at that point of time, i m full le, den my mum called mi, say "ask father go bath, we go out to eat"...wa kaox...act like i still can eat anymore food, my stomach is FULL. So i said "Y muz like tat, can u planned everything, don keep changing ur mind!" den i kcup the fone..Zzz totally no mood now! Den I went to play maple X) and got a party at sotong!! Everybody had a responsibility! I told my party i leaving at 10pm..and suddenly ask mi to tell my party i gtg...I don like tiss way!!! NV!!! Den somemore I m full...you cant force mii to eat don u!? Zzz I m a stubborn person, I don wan means don wan, but i really cant stand the nagging and chasing call from my dad, asking mi to come down now! Wa lao...at 1st when he called i said" I don wan to go"...den 2nd called " I m full, go there oso cant eat much, waste money onli lor" ....den really silent mode in the fone..Zzz buay tahan...den i said" k la, i go la" lolx wth...i really lose to my dad and mum. Den my sis called my hp but i did not picked up, wad for picked up when i say i going! I switch off the com..and there comes a insane gal =x tat was my sis, shouting all vulgarities..fierce ehx. LOL well use to it, den i shout back too la. =x Den sis said "making everybody so unhappy, u happi la"..i didn't say i m happi. Den very unhappily, i took the lift, and walked to the car and banged the car door =x Zzz sianx half...den the atmosphere was like u noe...cold and scary! Den my dad tried to say smth to smooth down the atmosphere...when we reach the restaurant...thinking of wad i did jux now...it was wrong. My parent may juz be worry i will starve to death...I shouldnt hab make my parent angry..somemore my father hab hbp...Zzz i almost wan to cry out and say sry..but i didnt..don dare bahx..hmmx den i oso try to talk to my parent and bla bla bla..lolx everything is fine again.

22nd of May 2006
K, i hab to make tiss clear! When i say DON DO IT AGAIN MEANS NO! I really cant stand it..Zzz getting VERY VERY VERY ANNOYED, it had been more den 10 times i telling my friend don say wad eva thing..I really get very frustrated..somemore...tiss few dae i not in good mood! Easily annoyed by small little thing! Plz I have been toking nicely to you, and hope you be MORE co operative and LISTEN TO MI...cos everyone had a limit of patient and I don wish you to exert my patient and make mi shout any vulgarities at you..cos to mi..the feeling is no good..shouting at my friends vulgar, yea? So Don test my patient, especially tiss few day. IF i would ever shout at you, cos u still haben read my blog..and make fun again..thru here I WAN TO SAY I M DEEPLY SRY! BUT PLZ DO WAD OTHERS SAY..ESP THEY ARE REALLY GETTING ANNOYED BY UR WORDS! I say tiss not bcos of anything...is jux to let you noe, so hope u can understand and don angry..hmmx...ya tat's all.
Get back from skool...I found the modem is lost..LOL my mum kept it...den i said "Not young le still play tiss kind of game..Zzz" in the end..it was my sis hu found it..and my mum say tmr she gg to keep it and nobody could found it...dotx..wth...if tat is the case...i cant play maple and update my blog anymore le..Zzz

Oh ya...let mi count down...4 more days to my death...plz come my funeral on the 26th of May 2006, 8pm,...Zzz noe y...cos tiss dae is the dae...we take back our report book and mit the parent session...ANW...Zzz my holiday is packed and gone...Zzz wif..extra lesson for eng, art, chem, math and bio..Zzz sianx half

GreAt JoB

2006-05-19T14:30:00.000+08:00

GreAt JoB

18th of May 2006

How do i start? LOL jux a perfect dae today. Today we hab the Interclass NetBall Match XD

At the 1st few match, we were relax. woohoo, suddenly hab the feeling... back to sec 4, last yr. Last Year, the same player, same team, lolx, got champion XD

K, finally we got into the final..wahaha, at 1st i tot we will lose cos we 4, opponent 6 , all play rough ma, physical attk on our GA. wa kaox, make mi very du lan, den throw ball on my leg, don wan to live arh, i shout at the eediot hu throw the ball, kaox wtf. Make mi hot ma.

Jux an advice to ppl hu are playing games competition. Don ever make a strong team hot and angry. For one simple reason. U will lose for sure. Well, some team will always make mistake and found when they are hot, BUT NOT OUR TEAM!!!

LOL make our team hot, we get serious and you die! Finally we win at the score of 9-6, lolx we score 5 goals at 1 min and finally we win...wooo hooo GREAT JOBZ GALS, U GALS ROX!!! FOREVER ROX XD hahax

19th of May 2006

It is a terrible day today...whole body aching, tired and headache..cant stand it...Zzz i go slp le. Good nitex!

Crazy

2006-05-17T15:30:00.000+08:00

Crazy

Ytd was a crazy dae for mi and pristal.LOL WTH...we high and rock all the way, in JP. We went to eat fiesta...woo, oiishi!! lolx den we go shop shop..lolx, fun fun fun wahaha.
Tmr NetBall interclass match! XD wish us all the best ^^ heex

teArs Run Dry?

2006-05-14T08:17:00.000+08:00

teArs Run Dry?

Having to know a lot of other countries friend, we chat thru msn, and whenever I on9, they would ask "How Are You?" tiss sentence make mi feel delight but sadx too. I m fine? or not fine? Tiss few day i m not fine...
When i watch the sadx tv show, i will cry T.T but when I want to cry on those painful thing happen in my life...my tears seems to run dry..Friends not trusting mi, a helpless and hopless person, for someone to share their sorrow...wad can i do?
Ytd went to bugis wiff my mum, sis, aunt and cousin..lolx my mum trust mi, and ask mi bring her go around bugis, ended up..i lost and cant find a place to eat breakfast..in the end, still hab to depend on my mum to bring us..LOL..haix
Ytd some happiness happen wif my dad and mum, and yet, some unhappiness happen in my guild..sianx half...make mi wanna quit maple and don play le...Zzz

SaDx StoRy

2006-05-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

SaDx StoRy

Stories~*~ Tiss story is true, whether or not u believe it.
There was tiss handsome young guy named Josh, he was potential in anything but he had one weakness, which is, he is stubborn! It's hard for him to say sry to anybody, because he think tat guy shldn't say sry. He met a beautiful lady named Joan in a party and they became best friend. They shared every little experienced they had in their lives and soon they found themselves deeply in love wif each other, they are attached. They went dating, they shared all happiness and sorrow...and tat was the time, they noe the feeling of happiness and being loved.
Do u believe tat happiness do not last long?
Yea, it is true.
One day, Josh suspect Joan was having affair, without giving Joan a time to explain, he wanted to break up. He said those hurtful things to her. Tat night, Joan cried.. for the guy she loved not believeing her. She cried...for the guy she loved said so mani hurtful things to her.
Mani years passed by, Josh is mature enough to think things out in a correct manner, and suddenly the memorable days he had wif Joan flesh in his mind...he found tat, he was still deeply in loved wif her, thou mani years had passed. Should he called to say sry to her and patched back? What if she is married? Well whether or not, is she married, he had the responsibility to call her and say sry, for those hurtful things he had done in the past. And if she's not married, he will have the chance.
He picked up the phone and called the nos, the familiar nos tat he wouldn't forget. A lady picked up the phone, it was Joan's mother. "hello, good evening, may i speak to Joan for a while?" Josh said. "Joan?" Her mother asked. "Yes, is she in?" Josh said patiently. "...Joan..u called her for?", "I was calling her, to seek for forgiveness on what i had done in the past.."Josh said. "Young man...ur late..too late..."at the other side of the phone, Josh could hear the sobbing of the old lady. "Why?" he said...having a bad feeling.."Joan had died in a car accident tat nitex after u had broke up wif her."..."WHAT!!!" Josh shouted...it cant be, the lady he loved, he treasured, was dead..that particular nitex after he had broke up wif her. "HOW CAN IT BE!?", "She was drank tat nitex and a car dashed across the road thou the pedestrian light was green." Joan's mother was explaining and trying to catch her breath..she was crying...
So thru tiss story, u think whose's fault shld be blame?

CraZy & TouCheD

2006-05-10T07:11:00.000+08:00

CrazY & TouCheD

On 6 of May 2006

A journey to malaysia XD hahax, crazy shopping wif my mum, sis, small aunt and my cousin. Lolx buy buy buy, my mother buay tahan =x muahaha, 1st time shop until so crazy! lolx

On 9 of May 2006

My mum put $327 in my wallet, to pay for O level, kaox, my mum gt put money in GIRO..don noe why~ last time N level oso like tat XD den tiss morning, my tcher come to take the money from mi..qing tian pi li arh!!! lolx i took out my wallet and i saw NO MONEY!!! my mum muz hab put in the wrong wallet -.- den i told tcher can gib tmr..she say can! lolx k, den the math test!! ARGH so difficult =x lolx, den after tat, tcher lead us out of the gate...muahah like president like tat =x, den there i saw my dad, standing outside of the General Office, omg, his hand was holding on $327. How wonderful he is, he work night shift and haben slp, yet he brought the money to mi, I m soo touched, den i gave the money to tcher and walked home wif my dad XD hahax happi!!!

VexeD

2006-05-03T13:24:00.000+08:00

VexeD

Zzz tiss few dae very vexed...Zzz 1st is my mum n dad cold war..u noe, the most scary thing in the family is cold war, not quarrel. Cos quarrel actually gott sound...cold war the feeling..totally scary.

Den 2nd is my friend...haix don sae le, lata...Zzz...jux now went to look at my friends bloggie ='( ic...she is troubled too..y...? Suddenly i feel tat, I m so helpless to anyone..I wan to help but i jux don noe how..I hate to see my friend cry T.T why didn't she told mi, she is suffering? No wonder tiss few dae, she is so strange..u noe..ur action make mi wan to cry, I feel so restless..Don laugh and smile when u are not happi...it is worst and it hurtx ppl hu cares abt u ='(

Tiss morning, suddenly feel dam fcuking angry, suddenly all unhappiness. fresh in my mind -.- wth baka! haix~ headache headache!!!!

Paper 2

2006-04-28T16:14:00.000+08:00

Paper 2

Ytd is the mid year practical...lolx sianx half, Zzz

OH MAN~~~ lolx todae is the 1st paper of mid year!! Yea lolx eng p1 and p2 >.<
Lolx be the paper 1 start, our PE tcher Mr Elango always sae joke to make us feel relax, Nice tcher
P1, hmmx nth to say lolx jux I can do la. P2!!! Passage A the passage!!! Very nice, I like it!!! Abt World War thingy! Cool..lolx den after Paper 2, shing, irene, qi and I went to jp!! Eat lunch..lolx den we in doubt don noe wan to go art focus test ma..=x but in the end we still gott go la! Lolx the journey back to the skool to take focus test, miee and shing like siaox lang like tat, lolx running and screaming all the way...don noe lehx, todae feel very high =x lolx
kkx den is this, art! I drew a shoe...lolx thx to one of the guy in my class, provide us the shoe to draw =x lolx den i draw finish..shade a bit..den feel very sianx den i slp Zzz ...lolx anw todae is the most high and happi dae i hab bahx lolx
ANW!!! ALL THE BEST FOR THE MID YEAR!!! TO: ALL MY FRIENDS!!!^^

Sail?

2006-04-19T10:54:00.000+08:00

Sail?

Todae, nv go to skool..ahaha so sadx...nowadays missed lesson a lotx =x as if i wan! Lolx, today early morning no voice ma..i was like dumb like tat...den headache and a terrible flu (blocked nose and running nose) duhz..tmr hab chem practical and chinese oral, so MUZ see doctor if not tmr jia lat le. Anw!!!LOL no 2.4km run for mi this week, cos i cant run ^^v hehex!
This week..jux this two dae..I hab how mani class test..u guess? 4 test...duhz..thursday still got Oral, friday 2 focused test, thursday and friday chinese test...means 1 week i hab 9 test =x lolx dam dam dam!!!! Argh lolx..
Hmmx still planning wan to go for a sail on a ship!! 3D2N heh...maybe i will be going! Wish mii Bon Voyage >.<>
Kkx write until here le..dam the medicine works so effectively..jux ate nia, now drowsy le.
To all my dear friends! : Take care k! Don make mi worry abt u guys!!

GoD bLesS

2006-04-17T14:56:00.000+08:00

GoD bLesS

wahaha Oh man, I m alive le ^^ yepx omg, I am sooo stupid to actually believe my mum's word..cos she said until so serious..dotx..
This few dae, mood swing~ Firstly i hab to say sry to my poor son..hu was suffering when smsing wif mi =x lolx and tat...don noe why, this few dae..I feel LAZY to tok..lolx ~.~ and my mum said "lazi pig >.< " waa~ sadx...
oh man, as usual my head hurts NOW not onli the backbone problem BUT bcos of the baby my mum babysit ~.~ if can i wan to paste a scotch tape on the baby mouth =x lolx..can u imagine..the WHOLE NITEX u cant slp...bcos the baby is crying...and from the dae my mum start to babysit the baby..I almost nid to slp at class everydae..Zzz to recharge my energy =x lolx after tat slping den I got mood to joke around... sooo sry to my friends if i did not reply u ~.~ cos i no mood to reply =x kkx now wad..OH YEA lolx i finally finish at least one multing board which my art tcher keep chasing...lolx actually todae i plan not to go to skool cos last nitex i was having a fever..but I was ask to eat panadol..den last nitex the baby CRY WHOLE NITEX...morning i was headache..oh man pissed off...but at last..lolx i drag my feet to skool. I hab regret and shld hab please my mum and don go to skool..cos early in the morning MT test ma..Zzz I definitely did badly cos I nv put in the effort to do but to wish i could finish it faster and Zzz..den another test..Zzz Geography..which i nv study at all not i don wan but lazy =x and i oso forgot there is a test!!! Can u imagine...fail for sure..lolx
AnW WisH aLL mY FrienDs sTay HapPi 4EvA and HeaLthY >.<

DAM

2006-04-14T08:08:00.000+08:00

DAM

Lolx it's been decade since I update my blog!!! OMG so long le, lolx...
Man, today I was feeling dam tired and sick..Zzz sore troat, slight fever, flu, headache and cough...DAM IT..Zzz I was I was..wa sadx..haix

hUrTx

2006-03-24T17:14:00.000+08:00

hUrTx

Oh man~! lolx sooo long nv update my blog...cos nth to update...as...everyday, my life is so normal and boring!!! I hurt my back last time when i was playing hockey. I have never, ever expect the old injury to be back again =.=!!! ytd, i didn't go to school, bcos i had a great headache...and i had a headache bcos of my backbone....it hurt again..I almost quarrel wif my dad abt not going to school. I told him my head really hurts, but he say I was trying to pon...if don wan to study jux say...wa kaox, can you imagine...i m hurt for my parent not believing i m really suffering from this BAKA INJURY and HEADACHE!!! I had enuff of it!!! Then..today P.E...we gals had to run 3 rounds within 10 minutes...and I tried hard on 1st two round..cos I know my pain will get back soon at 3rd round...alwaes like tat =.= whenever there is running..my shoulder hurt...then so accurate..my shoulder starts to hurt during last round..but in order not to round one more round...i splint like hell and finally i managed to pass...phew~
Tired..tired tired..today is the most tiring and hurting day...i slp and slp and slp..lolx cannot tahan liaox la..
haix~ I found myself wasting my tears on the those sad story I read. But I can't help it..too sad le. Recently I read a book title:"A Rose For Melinda" written by : Lurlene McDaniel. It's a story on this two little kid, a boi and a gal. They noe each other since 1st grade of school and became best friend and ended up becomin a lover. This poor little gal got leukemia since she was 13...but she is a strong gal and she went through a year to fight leukemia..finally there is hope for cancer free..but few month later...the disease is back..and they hab to transfer bone marrow for her..poor girl..she suffered a lot..in the end..guess wad happen to the girl? She's dead...OH MAN !!! I cried like hell. What kind of BAD ending is this sia...At 1st i tot, she would be cancer free..who noes the disease back again...but...it's the best story I ever read..in diary form and not paragraph form..so, won't be soo boring.
No Pain No Gain..this is what she said as she go for chemo and all those suffering and painful stuff...she is a brave gal.
When she is dead...her mum found a letter for her and her husband..and part of it on what she said is true...it goes like this:" Cancer isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person. And neither is dying young. Taking life for granted, living badly-these things seem far worse to me. In many ways-ways that count-I'm the luckiest gal in the world.
The things I've learned from having cancer
by melinda skye
1. Be GLAD for every new day
2. It's okie to cry
3. It's okie to feel sorry for yourself (but not too sorry)
4. Good friends are good medicine
5. Love is the best medicine of all "
and this is the summary of the book...='(

bEinG rEaL

2006-03-10T18:50:00.000+08:00

bEinG rEaL

I knew something tat is very interesting. Know wad? kkx i will tell u ^^ , look at the sentence below and u will noe wad.
"Friends who said they understand mi, don really understand mi. Friends who said they don understand mi, they actually understand mi the best!"
The first time I look at this sentence, I was wondering wad this sentence is trying to tell. And I keep thinking and thinking, but it is no use. Until one day, I experience something tat make mi understand this sentence. And the experience I had was a painful one, but in the end I learnt some lesson thru it. So nvm ^^.
Sometimes, u really nid to hab an "experience" to make u noe wad is Life abt. Wad kind of "experience"? Sometimes a sad experience, you can learn alot thru it. Example: A breaking relationship. You can learn alot frm it...not by how to become beta so he/she will love you back, cos relationship is hard to get bak, even if the relationship gets back to normal, the feeling may not be the same. Wad u can learn is how to be independent without him/her, how to enjoy the loneliness.
Here is another sentence:"Being nice, people don respect u, they suspect u."
lolx wad crap is this, you may think it this way. Or maybe u may think it is a broken english..but this is a sentence I saw in one of the book I read , "Don Be Nice. Be Real", an interesting title tat attract my attention. Inside the book I found this sentence. Wad does this mean? Do anyone noes? Yep I noe wad it means, and of cos I experience it again, lolx. Sometimes you are nice cos you scare someone don like u. But did u ever think...even if you are nice and a lot of people like you..do you think tis is the real you, are you happy abt it?
So sometimes, my friend, Pristal will say " Being ignorance is beta" cos wad for? Being nice to others end up suffering ourselves, hey not worth it. WE LIVE FOR OURSELVES NOT OTHERS! ^^

bLuRR

2006-03-03T19:48:00.000+08:00

bLuRR

wA..lolx hmmx wad happen yesterday and today? Let c...o.O
2/3/06 (thursday)
Today was a blurr day for mi...noe why? Lolx bcos firstly, during P.E we hab a captain ball match, den wen I managed to snatch the ball from the opponent I pass back to the opponent...den everybody stunt -.-!! yuppx, den the whole world was like suddenly stop turning..after I managed to return my conscious, my tcher, who help the opponent said "thank you" to mi ma..den I was totally very awkward sia, den keep saying sry to my friend..lolx...
After tat, is art lesson, one of my friend drew a dinosaur, and wen I look at it, I noe it is a dinosaur but don noe wad happen, I said it was a dragon -.-!! den she said I blurr queen =.=
lolx thirdly is during math lesson, wen tcher wan to lend a ruler from mi, I took a eraser for him instead =.= don noe, wad happen to mi..lolx mistook it as a ruler, wen I noe wad I wan to take is a RULER. Den my friend keep mocking at mi, saying "now I realise tat ur eraser is ur ruler, ur ruler is ur eraser" -.-!! crappy friend.
Lastly, after skool is chem xtra lesson, we were doing the practical, suppose to put lead(II) into the mixture, which the book say so, don noe why I ask tcher where is the iodide =.= den tcher told mi is add lead(II), cos suspect tat the mixture is an iodide .... -.-!! man....lolx wad hell is with mi today!?

3/3/06(Friday)
Today is the registration of "O" level..>.< = man..is $327..lolx ,
Den some unhappiness during english lesson.
After tat is focus test..hab to do 2 structured essay qns in 45MINUTES...lolx I tot I not able to finsh it in time..but in the end, I even hab enuff time to finish drawing an animation in my foolscap. lolx..=x

cHeriSh

2006-02-27T14:44:00.000+08:00

cHeriSh

There were this two children who like to fight against each other. They were blood related sister and brother. The gal and the boi loves to cry. They cry bcos they got scolded, they cry bcos they got beaten, they cry bcos they got punished, they cry for all the reason...but whenever any one of them was crying, the other one will comfort her/him. Just like now...."Go away, don bother mi." cried the little boi bitterly in his bedroom."Hey, that's my room too." the gal said..."and is ur fault for scolding vulgar. Father was onli scolding at you, he didn't even beat you." this is how much a sister could do, to jux comfort him..."He scold mi was already a big mistake. You go away!" little boi shouted. "Fine! I go away, no more music box for u." and suddenly, the door cracked open. The gal saw her little brother's face full of tears.."You promise to buy it for mi." little boi said in anxious."Kkx, wash urself up, and we will go buy the music box together." the gal said and both looking at each other laughing like an idiot.Now the same situation, but this time the character vice versa."GO AWAY! I m not in a good mood!" the gal said in anger."wa so scary! As if I scare. =P " little boi was teasing his sister."ARE YOU DEAF!?" the gal said, and she pulled her little brother and they start fighting. Few minutes later, the laughter was heard, an idiot siblings....One day, the boy was gone, and he was no longer in this world. The family was sad, everybody was feeling down. The family was quiet and dull. No more noisy argument made by the little boy and his sister. No more laughter from that little boi.
Wad was this story telling abt? Do anyone noes??

Yes!!

Tat's right!!!

Cherish all the people around eu! People who cares for eu. People who loves eu. And when you notice it! It is the minimum thing that you can do to repay their loves!
story written by: Claire Zhou Siyin ^^

wAd hAppEn tO mI?

2006-02-23T14:45:00.000+08:00

wAd hAppEn tO mI?
~Story~ Why are there ppl hu can't take joke...? They treat joke seriously end up suffering themselves..isn't this funny? To mi, I can take joke...but wen is time to serious..I will get serious and suddenly focus on the work and wen u call mi, I oso don noe...LOL I can take joke, I can be a very slack person, but can oso be a very serious person..but most of the time I m serious, tat's why my friend will say "wa so serious" this kind of sentence =.= ~*~ Today, early in the morning woke up...feeling something wrong wif mi today...I oso don noe wad actually happen...but it seems like my soul is out of my body~~!!! I suddenly so quiet and can't even smile wen I saw my friends..which I would usually smile..I oso don noe wad actually happen to mi..suddenly seems so familiar, like the past, my past... Suddenly so quiet, feeling so blank..even funny things happen in front of mi, I can't even smile or laugh..jux like the past..my past. I hab a terrible childhood. Why I say terrible? Cos wen I was still a kid, I always got bullied...by gals and my parent don even noe abt it, that's why, wen I was young, I already hang around wif guys, or if not, I would rather stay alone, in one corner. Slowly, I was in a habit of keeping silence even I was sad, happi, or even angry, jux quiet..cos feeling unsafe, cos lose trust in ppl around mi...I started to protect myself and beat those gals up when they bully mi..lolx i even cr8 gang when i was a kid...now think back..cool ~.~ lolx ...after I was in Primary 4, I made friend with one of the gal who had a same surname as mi..and hence I started to change...change into a cheerful gal, who started to believe ppl around mi. But I was wrong...starting my Secondary school life..I was totally trusting on friends I made and was hurtx, jux bcos I trust them , really trust them, and they disappointed mi.

Why do friends neglected their friend wen they hab either bf or gf? Is this how it's work? Will it goes same to mi? If I had a bf? I hope I m not, or I will not be!

Today, in art class, finally I m bak to my normal self. Thinks my soul is bak. LOL anw today is a very terrible day during art lesson. My group of christian friends was toking abt their church thingy...and I totally feel left out, cos I m not a christian, I m a free thinker, being left out...the feeling is neva good. I wan to try communicate wif them thru other topic, but suddenly feel myself useless to actually think of a topic to talk to, cos wad I like, they don like. Wad I don like, they like...a hard communication wif them ....sadx..but after art, suddenly my friends and i get so high...LOL like an idiot ? But I feel myself like a frog in the well...lolx cos I was totally in my own world, who noe nth abt wad happen in this world, or wad show was shown on tv last nitex.

One of my friend is going to ITE..cos she don wan to stay at sec 4 anymore...hope she is doing fine there. Anw, wish her all the best! And oh yar, my mum is not going to cut off the usuage of the broadband le...hmmmx hab to depend bahx...

Today, I had heard on a terrible news...our eng tcher is going to change, jux bcos the last yrs batch "O" Level did not do well for the eng. But wad does this means? Result is shown by hardwork not onli by tcher but students too, if they did not do well, it doesn't mean tat it is totally tcher's fault. And it is not our class fault too, so why muz we suffer? By changing a good tcher away, and get a new tcher to replaced her? Isn't this cruel? Can the principal confirm tat a new tcher replaced her and we can get tremedous excellent result in "O"? Wad the hell, is this principal thinking? Is he going to chase all the good tcher out of the school jux bcos they cannot produce a result? Today, my social studies tcher said something...which I feeling sadx about it...she said the principal told her tat her talent is outside the classroom...well hu wouldn't noe wad it means. She told us about a news of the soccer team, who had a coach teaching them, and once there was a major match..but they lost, although the coach and the team members had tried very hard. Mani ppl predict that the coach is going to be sacked, but nxt morning, the president of the U, did not sacked the coach. Moreover, the coach is going to get a bonus raise. And the president said this:" We hab lost the game, but wad is the most important thing is not the result, but the character development. The coach had teach our student well, and this is no doubt." I almost wan to sobx...why? Why JWSS is a school which onli look at the result from every ppl...from the coach of CCA, from the tcher and even from the student? Well result maybe partly important, but does tat mean wen a person can't produce a good result he/she muz be sacked? Tcher and coach had been changing since I was in this school...is this school really that heartless that they onli focus on the result that produce and not looking tat we, human hab feelings too. Changing a tcher / instructor...does this help? We hab feelings for each person..they changing it jux bcos the result tat is out is not good..does this really benefit- we students? Did they ever think of the consequences? Sometimes we can't produce good result...they can't blame us but themselves. They don gib us a chance to prove ourselves, and keep on changing tcher, they think tat's going to help..but did they ever wonder..the matter maybe worst after tat. Our social studies tcher told us this " Wad we tcher worried about you student is wad...do u all noe?" The whole class was quiet..totally silence. "We worried that you would become a heartless person after that...wen u come to work in society, U will sacked the person who can't produce good result. And u would totally forget that in this world, there is something called "Feelings". "

sIanZz

2006-02-21T19:06:00.000+08:00

sIanZz

Story~ I hate to get sympathy from ppl , it seems fake..cos ppl hu don really care abt u actually show sympathy to you...is some kind of..hmmmx awkward? Aiya wad eva la...U jux wan to write ur story, ur own life and don wan any ppl to noe..cos u feel unsafe..well...maybe tis is wad I m feeling now...to keep a certain distance to any or every ppl...~*~ to be continued...

I Sometimes feel stressed onli to a particular person >.< stressed =".=">

Today, whole class went to Clementi...the minds centre..den we

do our service learning there, by painting, do art and craft and cleaning for them...phew a tiring day..den wen going hme..Irene and I walk quite fast..or maybe Pris and Jac walk quite slow...I oso don noe why..den wen reach interchange, I use Irene hp to call Pris for 2 times...the phone keep ringing but she did not received the phone maybe she put it in silent mode.

Ppl always tot I m a sociable person...but the truth is I M NOT! I maybe sociable but wen I m wif my friends or family. I m terrified to mit new ppl, timid =.=" I m... I wan to overcome the phobia...but it is hard...tat's y.. mitting new ppl, make mi feel unsafe..lolx well maybe is normal...who wouldn't...but I jux scare.haix..

my mum is going to cut off the usage of using broadband..hence NO MORE INTERNET for mi...nxt month =.=" (maybe) haix..so lor..after nxt month..maybe difficulties to update my blog le..or even come in to see my blog oso hab difficulties . lolx maybe wen i go poly..hab my own laptop den maybe can update again. LOL sadx sia...Zzz no more internet Zzz no more anime download Zzz, no more online game Zzz SIANZ ARH~~~~~~~~ wonder how my life can carry on without internet =.="

haPpi aLwaYs

2006-02-19T11:05:00.000+08:00

haPpi aLwaYs

Lolx, finally, war had ended...hmmx..reader will be thinking wad war issit? Well is the war between my bro and I. Yea...and I m jux happi as usual when i m at hme ^^

PatHetiC

2006-02-17T21:33:00.000+08:00

PatHetiC

~Story~Dear Diary, While regarding Standy's thing, I hab to make amendment to my words, I m onli stressed when i m wif Standy alone. And to tat, it is totally, a misunderstanding, actually, she was angry so she throw the staple bullet and pencil lid in front but accidentally drop behind my chairs...well, I chose to accept although.....^^ and of cos, i hope this INCIDENT wouldn't happen again.~*~ to be continued...

Well, everybody will come across depression in their lifes...including mi. I m totally in depression now...and worst of all, my headache nv seems to be alright...Zzz still painx and painx and painx...so sux, the feeling.

Ytd, is thursday...if i m nt wrong...and yep...ytd i totally break down...hahax really too stressed le. After P.E, I was totally...feeling down...although i seems okie...hmmmx maybe my acting very good. Den I shld go for the don noe wad actor competition den become actress den, ah huh~, my friend can freely SPY on mi, cos i m an actress le >.< ....fat hope...tat wouldn't ever happened in my life...lolx crap again. Yea, whr did I stop...oh yar, after recess is Art lesson...and totally no mood to draw, shade or do toning....ppl in depression can't do thing well...my as well don do. So I ask my friend Jermin if she wanted to go out and draw..actually is jux to relax myself...the atmosphere in the art room is suffocating...den we go to the staircase there...and started to hab a talk...i burst out...really, ytd was the time, i cried until so jia lat de...I nv cry until like tat b4..really is beta to cry out...although crying don help much...but at least...can soothe me a little...well, u will asked, why i cried? The reason is simple...I cried for mani reason...and the reason is simple.

1) Too stress, headache,

2) Suddenly felt pathetic abt myself, being a failure in life..always got betrayed..but wad can i do? lolx

3) Quarrel with my mum and bro last last nitex...and my bro and I hab a violent fite...We nv hab such a violent fite b4...in my life...in my 17 years life.

4) Hate, hate the God for being so unfair.

5) Hate the "fake" ppl.

Well, do a person hab a feeling of sorrow wen their heart is dead? I suddenly hab the feeling tat, is beta to hab a heart dead, at least I wont be so suffering now...so wad if i could enjoy the happiness?....the happiness is jux FAKE!

Ytd, b4 I went to watch the movie, I went hme from skool, totally a cold war btw my mum and I..den my dad gave mi $10 although i said I hab money le. Went to watch "I NOT STUPID TOO" wif Pris...hahax, I cried again..over tat movie =.=" lame sia...lolx ytd is a crying day for mi...i think. B4 tat, I donated $10...to a charity..I oso don noe wad issit..but at least I m fortunate den the ppl who ar suffering..and suddenly I found myself happier...an undescribable feeling...after I donate the money...jux felt tat, doin a good deed is the most happiest thing in my life...hmmx...not bad. After watching the movie...I suddenly hab a strong feeling..an urge to go hme...and tell my father to "drive carefully, bye bye" well my father is a taxi driver. Suddenly had a strong feeling...tat, we as a children would onli noe how to cherish our parent wen they are not around anymore...or some children think...their parent don give a hack care abt them...actually parents do care...is jux tat, some parent don noe how to express themselves..tat's all.

Today still a cold war btw mi and my bro..I don even gib a hack abt him...beat mi until blue black, WTH....painx sia. FREAK >.

Well...mani things happened....my friend keep telling mi, forgive and forget, forgive and forget....well as reader can see, in my previous blog....did I NOT EVER FORGIVE AND FORGET? NO! And maybe bcos i forgive and forget..tat's why I m in this situation now. Selfish...most ppl are selfish...tis is a fact, an actual fact, well whu wouldn't think of themselves b4 thinking abt other. And i totally a DUMBASS to actually...thinking forgive, forget will solved the problem...but is this true? Wad did I get after I forgive and forget? Betrayed again. So wad 4? Wad for to forgive, wad for to forget? Ppl can jux easily say Forgive and Forget, but it is hard to do tat...do anyone noes? Some ppl, don really understand my situation and can crap so mani rubbish...for wad. I recommend u to jux saved ur saliva, beta. Well, I m not a person who hold hatred for long, and I don give a hack on remembering wad thing you had done to hurt mi...but is jux tat, I can't control..but the things that happened keep appearing in my mind, which i wouldn't wan to, you think is fun to remember all the pain? I jux wan a clearer mind...is tat so difficult? It's a scar...in my heart. I can't erase it away. Well, some ppl may say, haiyo u don care her lor, u r jux too sensitive, well, they don really get wad I mean. Do u think I really wan to care, I jux wan to make thing clear and don wan to make thing worst.

Revenge..is tat really important...y do some ppl jux like to revenge. Revenge is jux showing, U R CHILDISH! tat's all...well...I really wan to say...in this world..it seems like I hab a lot of friends...but it seems like none really understand and know the real mi....so pathetic..sometimes looking at other group of friend...they jux noe each other well...y there isn't a friend tat know AT LEAST a bit of mi? y?

sUfFeR?

2006-02-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

sUfFeR?

~Story~ Dear Diary, Suddenly...again..I felt happi but onli to a particular group of friends...such as wif Joyce, Jessy, Pris or a group of other races friend. Wen i with Standy's group i jux don noe why, i will be stress out. Cos I always felt tat, the relationship between me and them...is like impossible...fake? But I noe...I m getting bak to my cheerful self ^^. Tis few day, my old injury is bak. Headache...bad bad headache...Zzz but nvm i will get used to the pain again. Ytd, a Valentine days..I m not happy..cos i hurt someone...a innocent party...reject a person is a difficult task. U scare to hurt that person...but yet, you do not wish to give him any hope...no matter the hurt is major or minor..in the end the person is hurt too...but i really hab to say sry to him...for being so straightforward....but the earlier to make thing clear, the pain will be lesser...tat's wad I wish to believe and hope it is true....~*~to be continued...
CoOl today is a TOTAL DEFENCE DAY...lolx well well..today is onli half day..so quite happi. Well let c wad programme we hab today...hmmx well I remembered an old man...talking alot of crap history and ended his talk after 30 minutes...0.o PRO lolx...and we went bak to class and use straw to create a model to represent 5 elements of the Total Defence. Lastly, b4 we go hme...our sitting arrangement was change again =.=" SO SADX...I was force to move away from my "lao po" lolx kidding...Is friend la...BEST FRIEND EVA ^^....
Well tat's the end ^^ wISh aLL mY frIendS SMILE ALWAYS, esp JERMIN^^ may god bless u all ^^

WaD hApPen?

2006-02-13T14:45:00.000+08:00

WaD hApPen?

~Story~Dear Diary,Why do all friends like to noe hu their friend like? Going out wif hu? Why they like to tok on this topic? They not sianx one mehx? "Ace, i m in pained...i really wan to cry out..." one of my friend, Jessy, come to mi. "Why, wad happen? Joyce again?" I sighed..." I really don noe wad to do....she rather listened to bad company den to mi, and the reason is bcos in class no one talks to her, so she hab to listen to them..." she said in depressed. "LOL wad crap is this? So wad u two ar in different classes, tat doesn't mean she hab to listen to bad company, Pris and I same class wif her wad, we can tok to each other, don we?" "I don noe...I jux noe..I m hurtxx...>.<" she said. "Tell u, as a friend, we can onli do this much" I measure a small gap using my two hands. " and the rest hab to depend on her le..." I measure a big gap....while as mani thing happened....Joyce seems to be closing herself in the darkness...y she is so similar to mi..the other mi...closing myself in darkness...timid....scare of being hurt again and again.
School bell rangs....
"Yea finally..." I said in happiness...LOLX the moment i stand up from my seat...i saw a lot of mechanical pencil lid and a staple bullet...I was stunt....sitting behind mi was Standy and Jessica...I don noe wad happen...but to my conclusion it seems like...it was done purposely. Actually i jux wan to expose her...but i think, maybe is jux a misunderstanding or wad..i tolerate her very long le...hope this is jux a misunderstanding...but i jux can't stop thinking it is purposely one..cos it is obvious...jux wan to FCUK HER OFF LA....really you noe...I was jux having a bad headache...and my temper getting worst dis few days...but i tolerate.
Come on, I keep thinking, did i offend her? But no, i didn't do anything wad. Well maybe, I nv tell her wad to do on the assessment wen she was sick, or I jux keep shouting bk wen she say i like hu or maybe today, math tcher ask her to go out and show something but in the end i was the one doing it and the math tcher say if i wan to blame, blame her...but is this offensive? Well if yes, I really wan to say sorri to u. But hey I m not soft toy or a vendor for u to throw your temper on. You are not anyone hu I think worth it to let you to vent ur anger on mi. This few day, my memory getting worst, i don noe wad actually happen to mi, SHORT TERM MEMORY...i think....but I really don remember i offence her LOR. FRIENDS ARE TREASURE, THEY ARE NOT A DOG FOR ANYONE TO BEAT. I really hab to say this...Zzz anyway, i really, really jux wan to tell u, you wan to vent ur anger, go find ppl hu make u angry, don anyhow vent ur anger on others, u don hab the right to do tat, others hab feeling too, ur emotion is affecting others, IF U DON NOE.~*~ to be continued...
hey cool cool, lolx today in school nth much happen, but jux feeling sleepy tat's all. AnYwaY hOpE aLL mY frIeNdS ArE haPpi aLwaYs!!!

to Be cOntinueD

2006-02-12T08:52:00.000+08:00

to Be cOntinueD

~Story~Dear Diary ,Next morning, i went to school with a pure smile on my lonely little face. "Hey, ar u alright? Wad happened?" best friend Kim asked in concern. "Huh? Wad happened?" i answered wif a blank look on my face. "Ytd i went in and saw ur blog." She said. "Oh...hahax nth la..." a faked smile again. "Oh, okie." She said and continue wif other topic...."why i said nth wen i wan somebody to noe? I wan them to noe my pain, why i said nth? Is this wad a friend is? Wen you said nth but don look like you ar ok, they jux don care? They jux ask you whether you ar alright bcos both of us are friend? As a friend they shld AT LEAST ask...after asking..MISSION ACCOMPLISHED...tat's all?" i thinking....>.<>

nEw sTory

2006-02-10T16:43:00.000+08:00

nEw sTory

Hey guys...don feel like to continue on the previous story but no worry, cos i writing on a story...on a gal who is in dilema in her life. And yea, wish you guys will like it =D Story is below.

Today is the "O" level result release...suddeny felt the whole school was tense up. One of our tcher said this," Actually almost all tcher is affected by all of ur result." yea sure is, from the look of the tcher face who is in charge in last year express and 5NA. Suddenly think tat, nxt year the same situation will be happen to mi, taking my "O" lvl result, wad will it be?
Finally can said to be cope wif the skool work. Feeling relieved somehow.

-->Resistance does not mean walls and fences, nonresistance does not mean open space. If you can understand in this way, mind and matter are fundamentally the same.

~Story~Dear Diary, This few day, my emotion flows like the weather..unpredictable...i had a talk wif one of my friend, and tnx to him, he actually enlightened mi. Well, finally i realise tat, if you find it is hard to communicate between friends, the best way is not to break the friendship but jux become pure and normal friends. No one loves anyone, it is meant by fate. It is fated to see each other and became friends, so it is hard to say "I don friend you", well usually pri skool kids will do this but surprisingly, few days later you see them playing with each other again. In this world, friend is a thing we can't lack of, and bcos of this friend is meant to be treasure. No one will noe wad happen to you, wen you jux keep ur mouth shut, no one will understand ur situation if you don open ur heart. But...to mi...is tis true? i don noe...but i jux don dare to open my heart to any of my friend. It is bcos, I am timid, i m afraid, of being betrayed again? I suddenly realise sometimes wad you told ur friend as a secret they will jux simply treat it as a joke. When you wan to change urself, in appearance, in character, it seems like a wrong thing to them. But people do change, don they understand it? I can hardly express myself well, either angry or sad. This few day, i m not being myself, the true self, the one i shld be. I found myself being hypocrite, fake. I even laugh and smile even though i m not happy thru my heart. Y? Y am i like tis? To wish and hope no one is affected by my mood? Maybe. Or jux wan myself to noe i m "happi" in this way.~*~

SelFisH

2006-01-23T08:50:00.000+08:00

SelFisH

Today is a cold morning, I m shivering Zzz tired and sick, I had lost my voice and so i rested at hme. It has been few week since skool reopen, nth changes. Wad i mean by that,was, the Earth is still turning round and round. Sometimes i quite envy guys, cos after they hab a quarrel wif their friends, they will get bk to normal few days later, wad i mean by normal, means nth seems to be hab happen, they ar best buddy again. Unlike gals, wen they ar hurt, tat's it, scar in heart is not easy to recover.

My friends, all hab change. Wad i mean by change means....character.

Irene is one of them. Well, you can tell mi not to think abt it, but i jux can't....cos she hab been my friends for 7 yrs. It's hard to break the friendship bond. She keep saying she don hab friend....but did she realise ppl around her...? All ppl cares for her but did she noe how to cherish? NO. She jux simply using friends as tool? I don noe....but wad i noe is one of my friend is suffering all bcos of her, i shld thank her? Well everybody hab patience to it....my parents always told mi, if it's is none of ur business well let it be, i oso agree to a large extent. BUT I jux can't tolerate things and unhappiness happen in front of mi. I m not blind. I wan all my friends to be happy. If one day, I can't tolerate her anymore on making any of my friends sadx again, i don noe wad will i do to her...i don wish she is the 1st friend i going to slap on. Hope she wasn't.

Are human selfish? No. this is wad i thought wen i was a kid...but slowly i grow up and find that world is cruel, human ar selfish, they jux hope to protect themselves and hurt others. But wad if they put themselves in an opposite ways? They get hurt too, don't they? The onli human i think of, of not being selfish is our own beloved parents. Cos they are there for us, despite on how busy, how angry they are wen we ar naughty, how sick...they are jux miraculously there for us.

tHruTh iS oUt?

2006-01-06T14:51:00.000+08:00

tHruTh iS oUt?

Story~*~And there a rings of door bells..a song of fur elise surrounded the whole hse. Jess wipe her tears and went to open the door and........"Why are you still pestering moii son? I tot i already said very clearly to you abt eveything le. I will still sponsors money for ur study and rental flats....aren't you contented?" The voice of anger came through a women's mouth before, Jess could react and call her "mum". "What ar you toking abt?"Jon came out of the living room and saw his mum standing on the door way....wad happen? Does everything he heard was real? His mum chase Jess out when she was still a 15 years old gal? What is happening??? And his mum was shocked more than anger now....~*~

It's been 4 days since the school reopen le...wad can i say abt? Can't adapt? lolx sure not, cos i already in that school for almost 4 years and 4 days le. Everything starts very fast...teacher ar all now rushing on the O level work. Most teacher is leaving the school on this mid June...why? To wad i noe, the school load in this school is 4 to 3 times more den wad other school have in this area...teacher can't take it, they leave. Simple as that. Life have to goes on, jux like chapter in each book, some chapter will be damned boring, some will be interesting. That's natural, cos you can't expect the whole book, whole chapter to be interesting. Life can't be interesting always. Everytime when i come back from school now, is eat, and revise all the chapter, the things i have studied in school. Cos in jux 2 short period, i can't really catch wad the teacher is saying. SO everytime in order to understand beta, i will revise moii self again, using moii own study method.

There is one quote our principal said, and is the onli quote i found is really meaningful, as he always being sarcastic. "Nothing in this world is tough, It's onli to see you have heart to do it." Yea, no matter wad, i muz strive hard to go poly.

But don noe wad actually happen to me....I don really have the heart to study now. Is like a dead person sitting in class, and hear nth on wad the teacher is toking abt. I always tried to focus, tried to find moii heart back, or moii spirit. Moii heart...i don noe...it seems like i m more likely to hab a empty heart or a confuse heart. Moii brain is empty or lost. The subject that make me most headache is ART. Everytime, it comes to coursework i totally stucked and lost. Don really noe wad to draw. Wad the theme i wan to draw. Headache again.

Now is the 4th day le, you noe...i trying very hard..to get bk the happy friendship i have with Irene...but wad she gave mi was...cold attitude, bo chap...she now is with that ghost gang...why i said ghost...i think is a wu ru to ghost to say them as ghost, cos ghost are much more pure than them...at least ghost don hab a bad mouth as them, don hab a bad attitude as them...they are much more scarier than ghost. Irene is wif them now...well, she like to make friend with hu is none of moii problem...but...Aiya stress ah....Zzz

And, hahax i noe a guy named Nigel =X issit illegal to say his name in the blog =X lolx..anyway, he is a good guy,. Erhem, Caring, Kind, Generous...lolx and he so cute and funny sia...kekex happy to noe him =D

Anyway, hOpe aLL mOii frIenDs hAb hOpe iN liFe anD haPpI alWayS..........

gRowIng uP

2005-12-26T09:48:00.000+08:00

gRowIng uP?

haix...man...my emotion is really easily affected...think muz control moiiself le...Think don wan to write anymore wadeva story le, since moii son already said he no feeling or wadeva..like a dead person, think i oso lose interest on writing a story le. Wad actually happen, it is confidental.

Yesterday nitex went to moii uncle hse, he was staying at Bukit Batok...hahax yea, which is moii old hse i am living in there when i was a kid. A lot of things changes there...ahhh~ when we went there, moii bro and sis lolx and me too, we go walk walk..to get the childhood memory bk..wahaha den suddenly realise how naughty we ar when we were still kid....suddenly hab the feeling of don wan to grow up...cos is beta to be a children..no worry, happy, naive how i hope i can went back to the past. Bcos..as we grow up...mani things we have to start learning...learning to be independent, learning to support the family, learning to be mature in thinking and accept things that aren't going on our ways. Suddenly miss...moii old friends..hahax...ytd about 10pm something reach hme...was a happy day ytd...cos firstly, i went bk to moii old hse, second, a feeling of undescribable happiness, thirdly, cos of bear..he promise..he will try..but this morning went to look at his tag board...suddenly feel like crying....no i shldn't cry instead...since he don wan to walk to me...standing there again..nevermind, i will walk in there and hold his hand walk with him together to the light. Don give up! That's wad i shld do now. Hope he don give up too.

teRribLy hUrt

2005-12-24T12:40:00.000+08:00

teRribLy hUrt

Story~*~ It's been the fourth day tat Jon keep appearing at Jess working place, rental flats..."Can you stop following me?" Jess asked...It's not a pleasant scene to see a guy following a gal whenever she went. "Can, but after you tell me why you left..."Jon said stubbornly. "I WAN TO BE INDEPENDENT!" Jess shouted impatiently...ha~ her head started to pain and dizzy again. "INDEPENDENT,INDEPENDENT other den that wad other reason you can gib me?" Jon shouted back too. " I....I hab no other reason..."Jess said...."Hahax...you still don noe how to lie..."Jon laughed. "I..where did the hell you noe i was lying!." Jess protested. "haix k, k wadeva...but pls tell me why." Jon said gently. But....Jon got stunted...why?....cos she was crying..."DON FORCE ME!!!" she wanted to kept the reason in secret...she don wan him to hate his mother...is this the best way??? or stupid???~*~

.....why moi title like tat? strange yea? Firstly is bcos of the story i wrote, secondly is wad i m feeling now. Ytd i 2.30 am den slp...hahax sleepless nitex again..cos don really feel like i m sleeping. I been thinking...again and again...is there medicine to cure the feeling of "regret", "hurt"...by the past...and this wad i hab thinking :" we can't change how others hurt us in the past, but we can choose to allow the hurt dwell in us, or to forgive and move on..." Ya that's right. Since we can't change the past..that hurt us, why not welcome the future that's awaiting us....I m totally disappointed last nitex...i always tot tat, after a good sleep, i will forget the unhappiness i had...but the thing keep whirling in moii brain over and over again. Jux to hope all moii friends ar happi...

Today, ish moii beloved mum birthday, LOL damned happy cos, we were first: celebrate christmas, second moii mum's birthday. LOL haPpi bIrThdAy mUm!!! Yap...today is moii treat to moii family wahaha. Cool yea.

Lolx today got one Ben sms me...but i got alot of Ben friend..which one issit nehx? Confused..wahaha....now i noe hu is him le..lolx is ah Ben the manager ma. Lolx last few dae, hab a god son...which is Bear bear =) i m happy and willing to be his guardian...Now suddenly one god lao gong...=.=" lolx play play onli..so lo...wahaha but hab to thanks him. Cos lehx, he ah, appeared in a correct time....when i was sadx..lolx make me laugh. so lo hab to thank him. But i will neva admit he is moii "god lao gong". Wahaha miee i hab one "lao po" le..lolx which is...erhem, "me" wahaha, and one "lao gong" le...don wan le...both of them, always keep me happy, i m contented le...and still gt one god son to make me happy. lolx enuff le.

Ytd nitex..a big chaos...but is secret..so i won't tell anybody..anybody who cares for me....sorry ya!

AnywAy mErRy cHriStmaS aNd haPpi neW yeAr tO aLL mOii friEnds!

If this year you had a unhappy year, look forward the coming 2006, start all over again, you'll be happy again =)

nEvEr tHe sAmE

2005-12-23T13:10:00.000+08:00

nEvEr tHe sAmE

Sorry to readers...i hab not kept moii promise...saying the next post i will continue story...wahaha cos...no mood to continue...haix....why? hmmmx wahaha keep it in secret!!!

Haix...have to face reality....although reality is not as beautiful as not reality =.=" lolx wad rubbish i thinking man. Ppl grow up..and when they grow...they hab their own troubles, own problem..some choose to face it, some choose to runaway from it..wahaha man this is the first time, i going to face it...Bcos now i already realised..runaway can't solved problem worx. K...lolx golden sentence: gAmbaTe tO aLL Moii frIends. rEmeMbeR dOn rUnawAy frOm pRobLem..cOs liKe taT yOu cAn't sOlvEd iT.

Ppl hab their own problem so we can't bother them...solved it ourselves...is the best way. So won't bother other....moii buddy always say:" why you like to keep things to yourself ah? Like tat not good worx, always help us solved our probelm, when comes to your pro, you like stupid and naive like tat" wahaha...so what if i tell them..they can help me solved ah? humph and hor i not stupid okie!!! lolx.

Today i went to look at bear bear blog...the story he wrote..lolx let me think of one word....Speechless.

lolx jux hope all moii friend stay happi forever...and smile alwaes!!! =D

tiRed neHx

2005-12-22T11:07:00.000+08:00

tiRed neHx

Haiyo yo, don noe how to continued the story lehx....maybe one to continue in a unique way...like hahax they give each other...erhem...or Jess run away from him...wad lehx?

lolx. K today, moii mum and i er..and that idiot(sister) lolx we went to the market...den we went to the shop where there's alot of clothes...den ya ma, lolx moii mum saw a set of dressing very nice worx...den buy...say i muz wear more skirt, i gal ma. Lolx hey who set this stupid rule saying, gal MUZ wear skirt one...haiyo yo nehx.

Ytd went to Chinatown wif...MOII friend..lolx Pristal and Co. And den we mit up with jie jie, lolx den we shop shop lo. Wa damned sleepy ytd..lolx cos, i tot is 9am go shop den woke up at 7am ma...last last nitex slp at 12am Z.Z . lolx den early in the morning receive a msg from pristal...change to 11am...msg send at 12.30am...lolx i keep thinking..if i slp at 12.30 am..jux 30 more minutes...den i will receive the msg den don nid so early wake up le. Zzz lolx oh man, i ganna got the virus STM(Short Term Memory) all cos of bear bear...ya lo, today den go grandma hse, i tot ytd..den was like rushing hme. wahaha den left Pristal, Co, jie jie and ya Pristal's cousin. lolx wa oh ya, his name is Jon...den b4 going to Chinatown, Pristal, Co and I went to JE Kpool there play pool...lolx Pristal very li hai lehx..wa won three round...lolx *applause for her* kekex. K den write until here le...story nid readers suggestion..wahaha will continue in the next post. STaY HApPY AnD SmILe ALwAyS...MoII FRIeNdS!!!

truTh?

2005-12-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

truTh?

Story~*~ "It's been the sleepless nitex...oh man hand and head is aching.."Jess tot....rubbing her forehead. She been folding a big box of stars last nitex...sleeping less than 4 hours...sure is suffering. *yawn* haix...why muz Jon appeared? With this less than 4 hours nap...it's enough for her to hab a nightmare...the past had been winding in her brain...it jux like everything happened ytd...she cried, smile, angry, helpless in the dream...

And the dreams goes like this:" There was a beautiful women holding a little gal's hand crossing the road...it's just a few minute..that this little gal lost her mum. She is lonely, terrifed, she cried. Her mum saved a pregnant lady who almost knock down by the car...this angel heart women...dead. Little gal cried and rushed to her mum...she called her...looking at her mum, face covered with blood. "Mummy, don leave me alone." she cried bitterly...no, don go...her dad already left her since she was a kid...The pregnant lady was shocked and it affect the foetus...she's going to give birth...

Both women sent to the hospital, including a little gal accompany beside her mum. Yes, tat was Jess...she was 5 years old tat time...a 5 years old kid lost both her parent..she was a good gal...she nv blame the pregnant lady, neither the child that gave birth after her mum's death. She feel thankful, to the pregnant lady, as they hab brought her up, in order to thank her mum, and they feel guilty too. Jess thank her mum, she brought a little baby to aaccompany her loneliness. She thanks the pregnant lady who treat her as good as if she was her daughter. Yes that pregnant lady was Jon's mum. Jess played with Jon, laugh with him, cry with him, both were jux like bro sister, Jon was totally dependent on Jess, he stick to Jess jux like honey. He was a cute little boy, he was close to Jess rather than his own parent...and MAYBE bcos of this...Jess was asked to leave...Is this fair? Jess don really noe wad is the reason that her "mum" asked her to leave..but she was already grateful to them..to brought her up till 15 years...now she was 25...it's been 10 years since she last met Jon..she always hope and pray to God..hoping to see Jon again..but now she totally regret on this thinking..cos it make her suffered. She had never ever cry again after mum's death, but now she was crying over this stupid dreams....haix"~*~ to be continued

hApPieSt dAy iN mOii lIfe

2005-12-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

hApPieSt dAy iN mOii lIfe

Story~*~ "Well no matter wad i sae, you won't believe! So wad do you expect me to tell you!?" Jess cried. "No....I jux wan an answer." Jon looked at Jess helplessly..."she is crying...?"Jon panicked.." An answer, an answer..." Jess murmured to herself....how could she told him the truth...the truth on the reason why she left...without saying any words. "Jess...ar you alright? I was jux...angry cos you left us when my dad and I was travelling overseas." Jon said... a piece of silence in the room...no sound..nothing. Jon realised Jess's strange reaction...he walked in front of her...and totally regret after tat. Her beautiful face was now covered with sad and tired face...tears drooling down her face...she cried bitterly yet without a voice. " I m sorry..." Jon said...he felt his heart aching, just like knife piercing his heart..it's painful, sure is, sure is..."I...just wan to be...alone now...pls leave..." Jess said..trying to stop the crying..."haix...k k i will leave...but can you stop crying?" Jon sighed, the sound of care is more den tired...the moment Jon left, Jess cried out loud even worst..."He is not cute like in the past...he is stubborn now...a little boi with a smile on his face is now covered with a cold and freezing expression...what had happened after she left that "family"?" she tot...her habit in her life after she left that family was...no matter how she got bully or being said she is an "orphan"....she nv cry...or drop a tear before...she always fold stars and put into a little box...treating all stars as her troubled and she is folding her trouble..throwing it away. But now she is crying...why is she crying when she haben been crying for so mani years? Oh~ tonight going to be a sleepless night~*~ to be continued..
Lolx quite strange on this story or finding it confuse? Haiyo be patient. The truth is out on the next post worx. lolx
kKx today is a very unforgetable day for me bahx...well i think readers should noe..19th of Dec is "N" level result released date..lolx and bcos of this day..i have been suffering for the past few day...can't sleep, headache and worry worry worry..lolx even though moii friend always told me..."YOU CAN MAKE IT!" Well anyway hab to thanks bear bear, benjamin, lishing and all moii friendz! Lolx kkx...today i went to Jurong Point at 10 am to eat breakfast wif moii friends...but i actually don even hab the mood and appetite to eat lo...but no choice...hab to eat ='( cos the reason is: I not scare ghost, not scare heaven , but scare MY MUM" lolx before i went out, she told me..i must eat if not gastric pain...=.=" so easy will gastric pain mehx...lolx den moii mum told me..she and dad coming to skool to wait for me...OH NO! NO WAY! lolx i soo scare like hell....imagine you already scare of the result le, now still hab to scare of later ganna scold...very stress one, rite? LOLx cos moii name start with "Z" i will always be the last person or last gal in class...haix so pathetic but anyway i m used to it le...yep so when the last 2nd person went to took result, left me, one gal sitting there like extra..lolx den moii math tcher come to me and said" come i accompany you go there take result" lolx thanks anyway..in my mind I am saying that...but moii mouth keep saying"DON WAN LA" lolx den when i went to take moii result...moii form tcher face very strict..den i stunt...lolx den suddenly she said" CONGRATS!" and shook moii hands...i was still in a stunting conditions..lolx but moii hands still shakin with her la...lolx den i was so excited den keep laughing..den moii math tcher, who accompany me..he shook my hands too and said "CONGRATS!" lolx wow cannot believe it...Den at first I look into moii result slip..den count, eh 9 point lolx good le la..den moii dad called moii handphone..asking me how le..lolx den i said in a very sad and monotous tone"i failed...cannot promote" lolx at first i tot moii dad wont believe me..cos moii friend at there shout said"Uncle, she lying" lolx but how would i noe that, when i went to the skool gate i saw: moii mum, dad, sister and bro...lolx whole family come ma =.=" den i said..lolx i passed can promote lo..den my mum beat moii back very hard...lolx pain lehx..den she said "I tot you said you failed.. cry until like very real like tat(in the phone)" lolx although she sounded angry bcos i joke, but she is very happy on me..my dad too. Today moii whole family was smiling, laughing..lolx the warmth of the family can never be replaced.... after reaching hme..moii dad and mum look into the result slip and count, lolx they said is 6 point la..den i counted again..oh ya..lolx just now too excited see wrongly le =.=" is 6 points.
Lolx den i share moii happiness with the 2nd person, bear bear, yap, hehex he happy for me ^^ i too wish him all the best for the "O" level result, yay? Although, maybe too early =.=" lolx.
Den 3rd person is that stupid white face Ben lolx, i asked him, his result den he said" die lo" scared me to death ah...but i still don believe him la..lolx clever den me...i can promote he cannot? Funny!? Wahaha den he nv reply me...very scare so i straight away called his hp, den he said he got 6 points too =.=" say 6 point can le still nid to add" you same standard as me ah?" lolx i noe, i m not as clever as you, you strive so hard on 10 years series but me jux flip thru 10 years series, you don nid to say this hurting words bahx..lolx anyway, i very very happy for him, cos he passed le ah.. and too we promise to share notes next year! Hey don forget ah!
Actually going to celebrate today wif moii parents..hehex but due to some reason!!!! TMR we going to celebrate together..lolx anyway celebrate today and celebrate tmr is no big difference la..so lo..hohoho..Today i hugged 3 tchers...wahaha so happy and touched to see those tcher happy, crying and even nervous face when we should be the one...lolx they ar BEST tcher ever. Mdm Chan, Miss Toh, Miss Ang...lolx Miss Toh bon voyage for your trip!!! hehex kkx...Zzz tired whole day...ytd nitex nv slp well...going to slp soon.
GoOd nItex mOii fRiEnds aNd aLL tHe bEst!!!

hApPy oR tRaGic

2005-12-18T19:21:00.000+08:00

hApPy oR tRaGic

Story~*~"Hey Jon, long time no see..hmm let me count..1..3..wow it's been 10 years..lolx become handsome le worx." Jess said in delight, well it's a happy thing to see each other again. "Why you left without telling me anything?" he sounded so helpless and anger. "I...erm cos I wan to be independent...you noe..everybody hab to be independent, you too hab to learn to be independent." She said....trying to cool down the atmosphere. "How do you expect me...to believe a 15 years old girl trying to be independent alone!?" he sounded so agitated..."kekex, relax Jon..do you wan some cold water?" she asked...tryin to jump out from this question. "ANSWER ME!" he shouted...."hey this is moii hse and it's already midnight...you hab changed, you ar no longer cute and naive like last time le." Jess shouted bk...oh man the work load today make her ache and tired...now Jon's appeared..making her headache even worst..."now i m tired...pls leave.."rubbin her forehead trying to ease the pain. " I won't leave until you gib me an answer."

Jon said stubbornly..." I already told you, I wan to be independent. Understand? and how abt your girlfriend?" She said helplessly. Just now the situation happened too fast..when she was still thinking hu is this guy...he held her hand again as if nobody business and went into her rental room....leaving his girlfriend outside. "She is not moii girlfriend...we ar jux normal friend." he said coldly. lolx as if she believe that the gal wasn't his girlfriend, they were hugging together before she disturbed them, don't they? He looked in her eyes and said " You ar so outdated...can't normal friend hug each other? Those english men hug each other too when they met." He replied..."wow how he noe wad I m thinking...So ScArY!!!" tot Jess. "Anyway, no matter how cute or naive i m, it's already the past." he continued~*~

=.=" tmr take result le...this few day scare until cannot slp...2-3am slp den 8am wake up...lolx headache this few day..haix as the day get nearer the stress getting bigger...men moii life depend on tmr ='( good bye moii friend miss you in heaven...lolx jkjk.

Thx bear bear, for accepting the other me! lolx and still wan to help me overcome moii phobia. Anyway, i promise you! I will be your friend forever. When you nid help remember you hab me!!! Don ever feel lonely cos you hab me!!! I wont let you feel lonely anyway =) lolx bhb kk.

GoOd nIteX mOiI fRiEnd!!!

fAtE!?

2005-12-17T18:20:00.000+08:00

fAtE!?

Story~*~ "Life have been so boring to me." Jess thought. Working and study nothing much. She's alone, living at a rented hse. Although still haven't managed to pay all the rental =.=". She found her life boring yet simple and happy and she is working as a salesgal now. Lolx why is she alone? Cos her parent were no longer in this world as long as she could even remember their faces. But her life totally changed since he appeared. "Why mus he appeared, in front of my rented hse? AND a gal hugging him!? " Jess tot sadly.

This day is her most unlucky day in her life....let me state out why...: Early in the morning, she woke up late cos the alarm clock spoiled...damned it..and she hab to rushed like hell in order to get punctual for work..but in the end she was late...reason: to help an old lady cross the road =.=" , when she told moii boss this reason, he said:" don ever think i m a 3 years old kid....@$&%#." Well if he don believe tat's his pro..this stupid old man!!! Den she started working like hell..cos a special occasion is coming...the product in the company having a great sale =.=" busy and tired. End of work, she bought some beer from 7-11 shop to celebrate her great result in work..as she had managed to break her own record. Walking hme...the street is dark and cold. She used her mouth to carry the 7-11 plastic bag and use other hand to search the key..and oOps she banged on to a dark shadow. "ouch!" Jess cried in pained. "hey, you nv bring your eyes out wif you today ah!?" a women's voices. She sounded so angry...her sixth sense told her "i had disturbed them..." "sorry, sorry...i didn't mean it" she said in panicked..but rather strange on wad is this guy looking at...HER!? When his girlfriend is with him..why he still looking at her as if nobody business....hey wait..he looked fa mi liar.... ~*~to be continued...

hehex as promise i had wrote a story...lolx long winded yea? Haix don too zai yi le la...this is moii first time writing lehx...pls give me some encouragement..heex thanks ah!

2005-12-15T09:22:00.000+08:00

upDaTed

hehex updating blog in progress.....

yup...this few day lazy to update cos my day is damned boring...let me state out: Early in the morning, woke up, send morning msg to all my friends, play maple =P until 2 pm den eat lunch den my bro take over, den i play basketball at 3 pm den eat dinner at 8 pm den read comic until 10 pm den play maple again until 12 am den Zzz .

Yesh imagine readers read this in every post. Will be boring right?

K got influenced by bear bear, me going to write a story lolx. Er story coming up in the next post =P hehex haix....cos no idea. Hehex bear bear me not going to copy the story i read le...haix damned difficult to translate it into english..make me headache @.@" lolx.

Lishing: Thanks for ur concern and care...kekex my leg now although still pain but can play basketball and run le..lolx yea \/

Irene: hehex saw ur tag in my tag board. THANKIE lolx. I will stay happy always, you too mux smile always =D

Bear Bear: lolx thank for your care and your consideration worx. You ah always make me laugh when i bad mood. lolx den next time you bad mood i try to make you laugh but don say i lame hor!!!

Soo Yah: hope you and your dear will happy everlasting always =D

mOst frUstraTEd dAy

2005-12-09T08:58:00.000+08:00

mOst frUstraTEd dAy

It's the MOST MOST frustrated day in my life....this few day i got fed up. Someone intend to spam my nos to the whole world. Damned it. If i find out hu is...he/she. They ar DEAD. Man...tis few day...alot of unknown nos..said is miee friend..and the fact is i don anyhow gib nos to friends i don noe. So very obvious is somebody spamming my nos...i am fed up and moody this few day...as the msg from stranger keep increasing this year. Making me sick and tired. Man i am getting out of this stupid situation. This year is my MOST unlucky year..mani thing happened. HOPE AND PRAY HARD TO GOD THAT NEXT YEAR WILL BE A BRIGHT AND HAPPY YEAR! and b4 next year comes..i gonna catch this b!tch oR b@stard who spam my nos all over the world..and hope it wasn't my friends.

HopE My fRieNs hAb a WondErfuL dAy iN liFe anD taKE cAre!!!

baD lUCk and gOod lUck

2005-12-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

baD lUCk and gOod lUck

lolx today can count to be the bad luck day or lucky day lehx??? hmmmx..bad luck is bcos..today i injured my leg..lolx swollen like pig leg..Zzz cannot go out liaox.
Lucky day is...yea we hab a gather among cousin..yesh...cousin around a standard age was gathered..den we see sunset together..play water together..lolx quite lame la. lolx still rem? I said today we went to beach..
Lolx bear bear always say me sound like donald duck..den you sound like mickey mouse ah.

Yep...hahax i got my christmas present..lolx a kawaiinehx bear. On it's stomach it says" This cute & cuddly bear will hold in his pouch a 2" times 3" photo of the precious people in your life. Everytime you hug him, you will have your loved ones close to your heart. It's a great keepsake and a terrific gift." lolx a present from Uncle skip and Aunt doris from America....hehex...still thinking whose pic to put in it...hmmmx..lolx
kKx wRitE uNtiL hErE le. GoOd nItex My FrIends anD lolx mErRy cHrisTmaS =D

braNd neW daE

2005-12-02T09:52:00.000+08:00

braNd neW daE

Today...early in the morning..it's a cold morning..lolx even if i cover myself wif two blanket oso very cold..don noe y?? Den lolx realise last night raining..no wonder so cold at night. A brand new dae..lolx..den i went to see all my friends blog...lolx all was doing fine except bear bear worx. lolx ytd sry worx..cannot share all your unhappiness ytd wif you =P lolx u ar right, don care tat fatty, he is too much. Hey but lolx your blog corrupted nehx...lolx wif colourful...erhem. Kekex
Yea awaiting for 4th Dec to come..there ar 3 reason.
1. Christmas party in my aunt hse.
2. Hear the cry of the sea..it is time for me to relax le...i hab been living in this urban area wif stress and unhappiness...lolx can't wait to feel the nature..free and happiness.
3. Let me prepare myself for the 19th of Dec to arrived =.=" "N" level result ma...Zzz haix sianx
I hab been realised this since i was a kid tat we should not hold unhappiness too long...it is bad for health and mind lolx...jux take a nap, when you wake up everything will be the same..same as in sun rise from east...the earth is still turning. Ntg went wrong onli myself..so why not relax.
It's a brand new dae...lolx mux enjoy wif happiness and not keeping myself in sorrow =) anyway thx bear bear for your concern lolx..really =)
kkZ wriTe unTiL herE Le..tAkE caRe mY frIends!

wAd aM i???

2005-12-01T15:09:00.000+08:00

wAd aM i???

Who do you think i m...when nid me jux call me..when don nid me..jux kick me away. Even if this is wad you mean best friend..i don think tis is the way it shld be. Although, best friend is when you nid help den you look for..but it doesn't mean after using jux throw away. I m not god..i may not be the expectation of friend you wan. Even if i m a god and i can help you in anything...is this wad you show after helping you? I m jux too stupid to be loyal le...no point..jux no point.

Today, in the morning..i went to the market wif my mum and on we passes by the childcare..we saw quan quan inside playing lego...we were relieved as he did not cry to look for mummy...but soon after tat...in the afternoon...we were quite worried abt him..so we go and see him again..so coincidence, his mother come and fetched him and his sis hme. Den i saw his two swollen eyes and said"quan quan cry ah?", and my mum replied"no la..he played until sweaty."..den quan quan"s mum said "ya quan quan cried and neva sleep during noon."..

My mum carried quan quan all the way till we reached thier hme downstairs..den quan quan..hug my mum tight and don wan to let go. My mum passed quan quan to his mum den quan quan's hand still hugging my mum's hand..he was crying so pitifully...den my mum was like eye red red...it was a sadx scene...we cried too...Quan quan jux cried until so bitterly ='( haix kk end here le....GoOd nIteX mY fRiendS!

sIck LiKe hEll

2005-11-30T14:47:00.003+08:00

sIck LiKe hEll

You noe..."life have it's starting and ending..jux like stories..jux like movies and shows. Life consists of - born, growth, old, sickness and death...this is life cycle. And when we die, people who we care ar sadx..they cried, they regret." copyrighted by siyin...lolx haix in life we always come over obstacles..difficulties in many things..maybe this is a route people who grow up should take.
"Why people die to protect others?" "bcos there ar people they care, they loved such as family, friends and the loved one."
My fav thing to do in my life is to draw animation and write novel..but when your fav thing is now being forced to do and not on your own will...it becomes the scariest thing you don dare to do.
There simply is nothing to which we can attach ourselves, no matter how hard we try. In time, things will change and the conditions that produced our current desires will be gone. Why then cling to them now?
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us be thankful.

Ytd...last nitex..a lot of thingy happened..the feeling of being tricked is never good..but i really hab to thanks bear bear..you ar right..jux don care them..treat it as a holiday for myself..thx.. haix...having a great headache and fever today Zzz...Today is the last day of taking care of this "little angel" quan quan..sobx sobx suddenly feel very sadx...well who wouldn't, ya? Ytd nitex, he keep calling "mama" until 10 pm den slp..it seems like he noe today is his last day here..tmr he is going to childcare le...he always slp at 8pm-9pm every nitex but ytd he refuse to slp until 10 pm den he started getting tired and Zzz...well for more info..quan quan is a child my mum babysit him since he was born..i think so la...write until here le...GoOd nItEx..lolx anD taKE cAre mY fRienDs!

lIfe is BorIng

2005-11-29T09:02:00.000+08:00

lIfe is BorIng

sobx sobx...lolx suddenly feel the whole 10 fingers aching this morning...all thx to my cousin..ytd say wan to compete one auntie...den end up we hab to make three high mountain of boxes b4 the auntie finish packing the one mountain boxes..den i was involved =.=" in this cruel matched...lolx den somemore the previous day..i do the boxes for 12 hrs..can you imagine? lolx sure is aching...my finger...the skin still got peeled off...now i cannot play piano liaox lo...hab to wait my finger to recovered. lolx yea...finally jobless...very troublesome to find another job nehx...this three month holiday...i almost work for 2 month..i think this one month is for me to rest one bahx...lolx kkx write until here le. Oh ya...ppl interested in reading stories..can visit miee friend blog..lolx interesting nehx..the story. He is Ken aka bear bear..lolx hey don copyright my text in miee blogg and show me in msn again hor. Kkx...haix sianzation at hme. watched naruto frm ep1 to 161 again..lolx kinda crazy. Yea tat all for today.
Hab A goOd aNd hApPi dAy mY fRienDs anD taKe cAre =)

yeA

2005-11-28T21:03:00.000+08:00

yeA

yup..ytd noe a guy named Ken..oops..hahax he let me think of ryu..you noe street fighter? lolx ya...he ah...hahax a humorous guy...yea nice to noe him =)
Today was my last day of work...ya tat's right...bcos my cousin's mum don allow him to work..den i hab to quit wif him ='( lolx
Yea, today after work at 5pm...i went to mit one of my friend to giv her salary..as she todae neber come..lolx mit at coffee bean at jurong point. Den she say..if wan to buy bag..Plaza Singapura hab a lot..lolx can you imagine..work until so tired le..still go energy to go Plaza Sing...lolx i almost faint liaox la...really no energy and mood to shop..so after buying the "little angel" present and bag..shop for a while we went hme..as it is already 8 pm =X lolx...at there..yup i saw my cousin wif her bf lehx...lolx..kk write until here le.
GoOd nItEx mY fRieNds anD sWeEt dReaMx

eVerLastIng frIenshIp

2005-11-27T20:04:00.000+08:00

eVerLastIng frIenshIp

Suddenly feel like writing letter to friends i care...and so i started writing the letter..
to Irene: I noe you since pri 5 and hence we become friend...many things happened in between us..got happiness and sadness...Since the thingy happened in between us..although we become friend again..but now it seems like an ocean in between us...I hope we can get bk this friendship like last time..share happiness and sadness. You hab your own circle group of friend..so do i...but i hope whenever you nid help..i m the 1st you think of..and oso whenever i hab pro..you ar the 1st i think of. No matter wad is the past, let it be the past. Friendship is hard to get..friend are when we fated to be and not coincidence. Whenever i listened to Zhang Dong Liang "Dang ni gu dan"...the thing happened in between us...all the happiness is flashing like a movie in my mind =) ....Hope we are still best friend.
to Lishing: Really really very happi to hab you as my friend...it seems tat you are the friend tat was the most same character as me..lolx maybe bcos both aries ya? You were always there whenever i m trapped in life and circumstances..you give me opinion...show me the way of life..although friendship mostly hab obstacles but we finally overcome it and now...hahax the best friend ever. Ya?
to SooYah: hahax Yep ..how could i hab forget you. You and i are twins...hahax actually is same birthday la...yea...u and i are the same...find very hard and difficult to reject others..den end up suffering ourself...hahax maybe you're not but me..sure is.
to YanLing: hahax become more and more mei li le worx..noe you almost 10 yrs le ba..hahax our friendship still maintain. Wad can i say...hahax you and i can get the wad everlasting friendship award le bahx.

=P

2005-11-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

lolx....this is my 3rd job in this 3 month holiday..Zzz working with one of my friend and my cousin...quite light and fun tho very tired...jux beta den the 1st two. Lolx well...recently i hab been watching my fav jap anime, Naruto again..lol den the episode i watching was somehow funny, den my bro and i was laughing like hell...Lolx den my mum said:"Siaox, laugh over cartoon like wad"..lolx i noe it is childish tho...but hahax who cares ya. Yea my mum told me:"Mux be gentle, smile mus smile gently, laugh mux laugh softly, action while toking can be decreased, take umbrella when it is hot weather, if not become very tanned...later no guy wan you"..lolx ya ya, most mother oso like tat one ma...wan daughter to hab guy to want. Like scare own daughter nobody wan is a very disgraceful thing....lolx hope my mum wasn't thinking tat way =P haiyo i live for myself not others. Nobody wan den i take care of myself lo...no big deal one la. I m who i m, nobody can force me to change or do things i don wan to. This is me. If they accept me, tat's fine, if not, tat's their pro. lolx i told my mum this...then my mum look at me for a while..den said ya..den next time don cry and grabbed my leg say nobody wan you...lolx..wad a very unhealthy topic both mother daughter toking abt.
Yup end of today...Zzz going to slp liaox. Wish ALl mY fRienDs gOodnIte, sWeEt dReaMs!

ThaNks gOd

2005-11-24T08:11:00.000+08:00

ThaNks gOd

Lolx..wad shld i sae...ytd was my last day of work..and yippee i got my salary liaox..lolx...actually planned to be the last day today..lolx but like tat oso good lahx..let me hab one day to rest b4 another new job come. And oso won't deduct 3 day salary bcos i never tell them three day advanced =P bcos the leader told us...most of the machine is going to start operating next week and they need permernant worker..so as for part time student..they going to ask them to leave one by one..lolx but it's benefit me..hab to really thank the god..bcos b4 work..i pray to him and hope that they won't deduct 3 day salary...
Lolx ytd was my happiest day in life. I again share my happiness with my family cos tat was the greatest happiness in life. Lolx ytd i told my mum this..When we never earn $$ suddenly feel like there is a lot of thing we want to buy...but after earning $$ and gott lot of money...there is ntg i m interested in buying =P lolx anyway stop here le.

loVe?

2005-11-23T08:34:00.000+08:00

loVe?

If love hurts, den why mux dere be love in this world?
If love hurts, den why ppl not afraid of being hurt?
If you really mean good bye, pls don say hi..
If you really mean forever, pls sae you will try...
Pls don say forever, bcos forever made me cry...

The longest distance among us, is not knoing he love me but i don love him...
The longest distance among us , is not both of us love each other but i cannot be with him...
The longest distance among us, is we both love each other..but choose not to be together..

There was once a gal, she ask her boyfriend..is she pretty? He ans no...she den ask...would he cry if she die?...He ans no again...she den ask again..will he want to be with her forever?..He ans with a no...The gal cried..and choose to leave..at that moment..the guy hold her hand..he said "you ar not pretty, you ar beautiful. I wont cry when you die..i will die. I don want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever." The gal cried....happily.
It was the past...the guy hab chose someone...
Forget his face, forget his name..everything won't be the same.
The gal, forget what is meant by cherish..and when it's gone..she's miserable
Now the gal realise...the world most beautiful thing can't be see by eyes but heart. Can't be feel by touched but heart. That's why..we close our eyes when we Dream, Sleep and Kiss ....now he is gone forever..let the past be the past.

iN pUzZlE

2005-11-23T08:22:00.000+08:00

iN pUzZlE

It's been three week since i do this second job...At first is 4 friends work together..den become 3...after that become 2..not long become 1.
Ytd work until half way my mum call me..telling me abt the job i m looking for..not long ago. Den she say mux confirm i really wan to do that job den can tell my sis friend's mother abt it. Den i sae..how abt my other friend? She is working here..I ask if can ask dad to fetch her hme every nite..as it is very dark le...i nid to work..actually main reason is NOT for fun, NOT to slim down...is jux to help with the financial. My mum not babysitting the "little angel(zhi quan)" on the end of this nov....as you noe my father ish a taxi driver..i nid to help with the allowance. So i hab no choice but to quit this job and do that job. At first, is bcos..the are rushing goods..they can't wait for me until 2nd dec den work..they need ppl. So they say until this friday...after that no need anymore ppl le. So if i never work this friday..i won't hab job on this Dec..I hope my friend can understand.

=.="

2005-11-20T10:47:00.000+08:00

=.="

kekex well ytd...is a rushing day..lolx..when i reached hme ytd...the 1st thing i do is..take a bath, dry my hair and lied on the bed...kekex..ytd the factory is rushing goods for customer..den almost all the auntie never work OT...left one ke lian auntie..den i was ask to help her..both of us do the sorting like hell..lolx running to OP and QC most of the time..Den gott one time..the auntie say mux finish sorting the 1743 moulds at 40 minutes time =.=" ..usually when i sort out the 1000 over moulds..i nid 2 hrs. Now ask me to finish it at 40 minutes times...lolx it is a big big difference lehx. Somemore..ytd..i was really really very tired..bcos..the last last nitex...went hme from work at 11.20pm..den i read the comic "Magister Negi Magi" until 2 am den slp..lolx..i didn't take note of the time den my mum run out of the room at shout" still haven slp ah, you wan to fall sick issit? Tmr still hab work lehx" lolx...den i faster went to slp...my mum is scary when she is angry. Can you imagine...slp at 2am and wake up at 8 am the next day..Zzzz onli slp 6 hrs...cannot tahan..den when i was doing the moulds..i was like fainting..zzz. For more information...the mould i m doing is the small thing and nid to see if any white contain..>.<
lolx yup past few day...when i was in the msn, my pri skool friend talk to me thru msn..den he said.."wa saw ur blogg le..lolx can't believe you fall in love le"...den i replied him " =.="......>.<" " lolx...can't i chose the blogskin i like..the blogskin is cute..tat why i chose ma...who set the rule saying tat onli ppl who fall in love den can use this blog skin de? lolx...remember when i was working at the previous factory..i always gott cut my the boxes on my wrist..den at that time..when i take bus to the interchange..i saw one of my pri skool friend...lolx den he saw my wrist and said"why? ganna suai by guy..committing suicide ah?" lolx..i don noe shld i cry or laugh. I replied him"This injury is made during work.I won't be sooo stupid to kill myself bcos of relationship matter" but this fellow don believe me..haixx..lolx kkx
write until here le..Hope all my friends hab a wonderful dae today.

tiRinG dAy iN moi liFe

2005-11-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

tiRinG dAy iN moi liFe

hahax jux wonder..so late a still haben slp..still sae very tired...sobx sobx..bcos longg time neber update moi blogg liaox. Yup, as reader noe from previous blog, that i m working...Zzz maybe bcos work almost night-shift and oso not enuff slp...this few day having a headache and slight fever =P kekex well, working this job is jux like a robber running away frm police...i will explain why??
Firstly, My fwens and I hab 7 leaders and 1 SM(senior manager). Yup 7 leaders..can you imagine..my fwens and i are running away frm this 7 leaders..lolx. Kkx let me introduce this 7 cute leaders.
Ms Ho aka Huang hou(majesty): Hab the biggest authority among the leaders group..look very fierce but she ish a nice lady.
Xiu Lian aka Rong Mo Mo: Lolx bad ya? But no choice...working ish very sianx..so mux create some fun. I don noe why..when i heard her voice or look at her..i will laugh like hell. I think ish bcos sometimes i can heard her voices...but cannot see where she is ?_? lolx she hab thousand miles eyes(qian li yan)...at that time moi fwens and I was staying in the toilet..bcos we went there early..den when one lady open the door..and the door almost closing..jux left a small gap..she oso can see us..and told us there is a meeting for 2nd shift ppl =.="
Ah Nan aka ling eunuch(tai jian): When you look at the action he made you will noe why. He is like...very sissy..and he is the one that oways catch me down to 2nd floor(no air-con but a lot of machine) to operate the machine >.<" hahax but lucky this past 2 days he neber ask me go down..jux ask me take over when it is dinner time. Bcos on Thursday..something happen..yup...my fwens and i wan to go to the canteen as the time ish too early...so we wait for the lift(there is onli 1 lift in this whole factory)..den when the lift door open ....ah nan walked out...I think my action too agitated le..lolx..my mind ish thinking cham liaox..haben start work i oledi saw him...den i told him i not feeling well..DON ask me go to 2nd floor operate machine..lolx den he smile smile.
William aka ling gong gong: He is the second fellow that like to aim me to go down to 2nd floor and operate machine >.<" i was running away from this 2 guys...sweat man...lolx..he is a China man..i can't heard wad he said clearly..he was like talking @#$% lolx i don even understand..so act "clever" i nodded my head den went back to do my own things.
Ah Chun: She oways smile smile to me...but who noes she xiao li chang dao(meaning: a sword behind her smile..lolx means some kind like got motive..) ..she oso like to call ppl down to operate machine.
Xiu Mei: She ish the most nicest leader i hab met in this factory..bcos she wont mind ppl talking in the OP room..but don talk loudly...she neber ask me to go down and operate the machine b4..so safe..
...:this leader i don noe her name..but she is very quiet..and look very stern..but it seems like nobody care..they talked as loud as they wan..but got one auntie told me...don see her so quiet..although we can talked loudly..but if she cannot stand the noise...she is much much scary den Ms Ho.
SM: Lolx he is a funny guy..One of my fwen called him "uncle" but actually he isn't that old...jux the appearance nid to improve XD...lolx den when Ms Ho heard my fwen called him "uncle"..Ms Ho laugh out loud..same as us..lolx can't stand him..but at 1st we don noe..he is actually Ms Ho's boss.... =P hahax i even talked back to him =P
Today, we 2nd shift part timer is in charge of cleaning a new room..we are separate into group..den my fwens and I in a same group..we were in 1 room itself..the others go to the other room..den this SM said the corner MUX NOT see dust...later he come bk and check...as if this window corner we are able to clean...pls lo..it is very high lehx...we climb up very high but jux managed to clean the highest part of the window..not the corner =.=" heng heng i gott buy insurance. Den the SM come bk said still very dirty..Den i say clean yourself la...as if we so short can clean so high mehx..den he say"you ask me clean?" den i nodded my head..lolx den he say:"you nb die b4 ah?" lolx crazy if i die b4 will i be still standing here?
Yup gott one funny thingy..lolx is QC...that time i sort out the rejected molds den send to QC...ppl there like bo chap me when i ask them where to put the lot. Den gott one auntie say ask the tall tall big big human...den the very first moment..i saw one man tall tall big big size one..so i go to him and ask him lo..den he ask me stupid question"who ask you to come ask me one?" den i reply"Gott one auntie ask me to ask tall tall big big human." Den he like very agitated and say very loud"who here is the tall tall big big human" =.=" lolx den really gott one tall tall big big auntie come out..oops i found wrong ppl liaox..den some ppl laughed..den got one auntie say..you very straightforward =.=" den you expect me wad lehx...lolx yup..today write until here le..
Hope all my fwens enjoyed this year and hab a happi and wonderful year next year =) gD nIte!

greAtest haPpineSs

2005-11-08T10:08:00.000+08:00

greAtest haPpineSs

In this world, wad you mean by happiness??? Issit a when there is a smile on your face, a smile in your heart? Yep and i realise ytd was a happiness day for me...hahax broken english..ytd i got my pay on the previous factory i m working. When i receive the money i was almost going to faint..hahax and yup bcos too excited. Finally realise wad it mean by greatest happiness..it is when you share your happiness wif others and let them feel the happiness too. Hahax and yup i share my happiness wif my family =)

mEmoriabLe dAy

2005-11-02T10:53:00.000+08:00

mEmoriabLe dAy

Ytd is a very memoriable day, firstly hab to thx my friend darling for the free Mentos..bcos he got his salary ytd..den we got free cab to reach the factory too...hahax at first is the event happening during lunch break. The aunt there did not help us to buy any food..the canteen is almost empty..did not sell any food..so my friend and I rush out of the factory and buy food..but the canteen outside also close..bcos ytd is a public holiday..another restaurant oso close due to public holiday..hahax den we curse and swear the auntie..erhem..it is not good for health is a sin hahax lishing said this so we stop cursing the auntie...we rush to take the taxi and went to IMM Macdonald and i am in charge of buying the food..lolx why me? Bcos i run very fast =.=" this is wad my friend said..lolx den after that we eat in the taxi and finally we reached the factory..the uncle there very de funny lehx..bcos we eat in the dining room..he ask us who say you all can eat here..as if we noe lo..we newbie ma. Den when we rush back to the work place...I was stop by one of the leader..he ask me why i now den come bk..i told him the reason den he say understandable but next time don like that..i say okie..den after that i rush bk to my work place..another leader saw me..den she said why now den come bk and like wan to scold me..i said" stop, i got excuse one" den i told her the reason...then she say..ohhh don let the manager see..if not you will hab to bear the consequences...i say okie. den i continue to work..after that i was in charge of bringing the lot to third floor...very eerie there..haix den it's time to go hme..kekex yup and we walk fast fast to the MRT station and reach the MRT station at abt 11.30pm den we took the last train bk to Boon Lay...and finally i was hme..When i went bk, i saw my bro and mum standing there waiting for me..kekex i wonder why my bro was bringing an umbrella den he say in case got pervert or molester can use umbrella to beat him..hahax caring bro.. and den sweet dreams home sweet home..kekex well my aunt jux visit Singapore on Monday. Happy for my friend bcos she found her loves one and live happily ever after..kekex k write until here le..

nEw Job

2005-11-01T09:34:00.000+08:00

nEw Job

Finally found a new job..although tired but is easier and comfortable than the previous job i m doing. The time passes very fast unlike the previous job i m doin. The salary is higher den the previous job but when it is time to go home..it will hab difficulty. Bcos the factory is very far away frm the interchange which nid to walk a long way and the time of off work is 11pm..the time is very difficult to take bus and the last bus of 243 is 12pm...i almost can't catch tis last bus ytd.
Hahax ytd is the first day of work...the machine i was working breakdown..haiyo so suai man..den i was sitting there almost an hour waiting for the machine to work again. But still cannot work..so one of the leader bring me to the third floor to do another thing, which is packing. It is air-conditioner..beta den the second floor..kekex but i think today hab to work back the second floor sianx..haix hope can continue work on the third floor.
When it is time to go hme..hahax we were like very stress and don noe sit which bus can reach the boon lay interchange. So my friend and I took bus 99 and my frien and I alight at the bus stop near swimming complex and wait for 198..Zzz my mum and dad was worry abt me and ask me whereabouts. Actually my dad wan to come fetch me hme but he was at don noe which place which is very very faraway so cannot come..so he ask me to gib him a call when i reach hme..Finally we reach interchange, we saw my friend father and he brought my friend hme, actually my friend wan her father to bring me hme too..but very late le..not good bahx.. i ran to the 243 station...phew finally catch the last bus. I alight at the second bus stop and ran hme..hahax suddenly saw my sis and mum waiting for me at the block downstairs.. feel very touched..kekex den my mum told me a indian man was like looking at us..and yup when i look behind there is one indian guy wearing white clothes and white hat..i think he was aiming my mum and sis..so i ask them don nid to come down today, i will go upstairs myself..i think is beta to call police and come here patrol..in case..haix..too tired today slp until 9 am den woke up..lolx is the latest time i hab been sleeping..well kambate for today too!

sToriEs

2005-10-29T17:39:00.000+08:00

sToriEs

I hab read chicken soup soul for teenage..and i found a lot of touching stories...it gib me a inspiration to life...There is story on the motherly's love, BGR, obstacles and the reason of living in this world. Mani mani logic hahax and sometimes when i read a touching stories..funny thing is i actually found myself crying over that particular stories...i think i m jux too emotional le. Ya, i think it is true on each stories bahx...this make me feel that actually i shld be happy on such a happy family i hab..bcos out there in the world..people lost their parents..due to some illness...and they actually appreciate it after they lose it..One of the interesting stories i hab read is a stories on a moth. Yup, it's some kind like a fairytale...when i told my family abt it(actually every weekend, my family and i will sit down in a circle to communicate wif each other) they say it is silly to believe it is true..but i still believe in this stories although that may make myself looks nerd or naive..hahax yup stories somehow goes like this...let me recall...: Moth was once the most beautiful insects in the insect kingdom...they are much more beautiful than the butterfly....One day, there was an angel crying..bcos of the cloud that is blocking the view of the angel to look at the beautiful world..and hence the tears of the angel hab fell down to earth as rain..children was sad bcos they can't go out to play as it is raining..sweet little moth hates to see everyone sad...in order to let the angel smiles, the moth had suggested to create a rainbow in the sky...so one of the small little moth fly to the queen of the butterfly to ask for help. The butterflies were too vain and selfish to give up any of their colours for either the people or the angels. So the moths decided to try to make the rainbow themselves. They beat their wings very hard and the powder on them formed little clouds that the wings smoothed over like glass. Unfortunately, the rainbow wasn't big enough so the moth kept giving a little more of their colours and a little more. Finally the rainbow was stretched all the way across the sky. They had given away all theirs colours except brown which doesn't fit into the rainbow. Now the colourful moths were plain brown. The angels up there in the heaven saw the rainbow and become joyous. They smiled, and the warmth of their smiles shone down the earth as sunshines. The warm sunshine made the people on earth happy, and they smiled too. Now everytime it rains ,the baby moths, who still hav their colours, spread them across the sky to formed a colourful rainbow...Its is a touching stories..hahax aniway there ar more stories in it...actually it is fun to read stories that you appreciate...really.
Quote: Underneath the gray, is every colour of the rainbow

GraduAtion

2005-10-28T16:06:00.000+08:00

GraduAtion

kekex today hab to go bk to skool..for the graduation ceremony...Zzz but it seems like a funeral ceremony to me!!! The atmosphere was sadx..but the technical student behind trying to make funny sound...although noisy but it make the atmosphere beta...kekex thx to the technical student...every level..there will be representative of students and tcher to give a speech...hearts tearing..tears rolling speech...I don noe whether m i going to make it for sec 5...haix...sadx again..The band performance is tremedous excellent..the internatonal dance performance is funny..hahax jux thinking of the dance step make me roll on the floor laughing like hell...kekex The choir...hmmmx okie lo...not tat bad.
After the graduation ceremony, Corina and i went to JE library..kekex well anyway, Corina treat me Sundae..hahax actually the whole things goes like this: When i was still working in the factory, i once told Corina i going to compete wif the auntie(who like to do the traybox fast fast, like to see the whole table flooded with traybox... "a evil auntie") if i m able to finish all the traybox tat is flooded and not let the traybox flood the table, she is going to treat me Sundae..kekex and guess wad??? Of course i had made it ^^\/ yea! kekex..ya so she treat me chocolate sundae. Yep and we went to the library..borrow a few books and we left...Den we went to the ARIES shop...hahax well, i bought a small hair clip 4 for $1 ma..cheap cheap so buy lo. Kekex den in the MRT i was almost asleep..bcos wad Corina told me..i did not hear anything in..jux nodding my head..hey very tired one lehx..so lo..Gomen nasai(sorry) corina =P kekex..well tat's the end of todae..i going to leave every msg for my friends here! Well mainly i hab 7 friends...and they represent each colour of the rainbow and bcos of them there is white lights that is ME!!
Red: Lishing
Orange: Yan Ling
Yellow: Irene
Green: Soo Yah
Blue: Corina
Indigo: Sherry
Violet: Tiffany
Bcos of them...It makes me whole! Well hahax each colour represent a meaning into it..not going to tell all of you =P hehex...
Fav.Quote: You hab 2 be urself. Be honest abt who and wad u r. And if ppl still like you, that's fine. If they don't like you, that's their problem..bcos you live for urself not others!

LIfe iS fUll oF mYsterY

2005-10-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

LIfe iS fUll oF mYsterY

Today suddenly think of the topic one of my classmate has been toking abt...regarding tcher do not encourage teenage to fall in love..kekex quite funny la..why teenage can't fall in love when we teenage are oso human and hab feelings too...maybe they think we still young and can't handle this "dangerous" word called LOVE bahx...kekex..well finally not working..still finding la.. Now at hme very sianx lehx...Zzz so i went bk for a slp..quite tired..whole body was weak..bcos ytd work OT so i slp at 12 noon..hahax wad a great present "little angel" hab given me...he gave me a pool of urine on my bed...bcos..he was sleeping on the "rocka my babe" den he urine down the matterest i was sleeping...Zzz eeek wet wet the..kekex..Zzz now finally i m awake. Jux thinking wad m i gonna be in the future...hmmx a tcher?? A scientist??? Or a novelist??? A cartoon director??? Or wad?? I like to draw anime..i like to write novel..maybe this two i m gonna treat it as interest bahx..but no matter how..i shld find a proper job..so wad shld i be??? kekex..well well my path to future will never be short nor it will be long..future is when you hab decide it...I hope i could be a... ... ...Nursery tcher hahax although i may not be tat patience...oh ya..maybe a female police women..i mean those who can run abt in Singapore to catch baddies! Not those sitting in the office..bcos i like to jump, run and walk abt..kekex..so wad ar my friends gonna be??? Kekex write until here le! Take care my friends! Bright future is awaiting for all of u!!!

HapPiNesS wIlL nB eND

2005-10-26T09:40:00.000+08:00

HapPiNesS wIlL nB eND

Kekex finally is the last day of work...my feeling is over high, damned crazy...lolx...My hand is aching todae...so i hab planned not to work OT...but the supervisior don allowed...kekex today the auntie say will miss me...good bye...actually i oso don wan to quit..but due to some reason.....no choice..sobx sobx i will miss them too...
Time passes by jux like snail gliding in the factory everytime i work there..but today different...it seems like the time passes like lighting...i dislike the feeling of separation...sadx.. Today hahax a lot of funny thingy happen again. I oso don noe why...it is the second time i feel so happy...so comfortable...so happy. First happiness is with my family...the gathering of five of us...eating turkey in the christmas eve..silent night...hahax..The second happiness is in the factory today....The auntie said this..don look at guys, if not cannot work..hahax wad rubbish..since when i like to look at guys sooo much..kekex. Got one auntie there tot i was 20 yrs old...sobx sobx i soo old mehx?? no bahx..kekex. Today onli Yan ting, Alicia and me Ot...Corina and Sherry did not so when it is time to go hme abt 7.30 i hab to take bus alone..kekex well for more info..outside the factory it is damned dark when the time reaches 7.30pm..Zzz scary..kekex..i called my mum and my mum ask me not to work OT but i told her no choice the supervisior forced me..and she already submitted my name for working OT =.=" sad..haix den she said nbmind..she ask dad to come and fetch me...kekex safe at last. She reminded me not to go hme alone..kekex a caring mummy kekex love her and daddy so much...muackx..kekex...Zzz Today when it is lunch break..i was quite sianx so i msg a guy..i noe him quite long bahx..but bcos due to working, long time nb sms him le..so ask him how he is doing...although he say he is fine and okie but i jux feel tat he maybe too tired to say..maybe a lot of thingy happen bahx...hahax well well...if he wan to say he will say..if not..den beta to keep silence, no point forcing rite? Oh ya hahax today hab to really thanks the fat auntie..ooops i mean eh..cute auntie..kekex..bcos at tat time the table was flooded wif boxes..so she come and help me insert the partition into the traybox..kekex when i was taking the partition and almost landing it onto the table..my hand muscle cramped again(old injury..last time play hockey ma..hahax by the way, my friends don believe i m the captain in the girls hockey team) ...den the 5 partition was like all cramble onto auntie and one of the partition hit the auntie forehead..sobx sobx not purposely one...by the way this thing happen during OT...see la..say i hand pain still ask me OT, now one auntie suffer..SORRY worx auntie..but at that time..i was laughing like hell...i oso don noe why..but i noe is very bad..she say nbmind...i told her if at night suddenly feel like vomiting or wad mux see doctor den she say not so serious la..hahax i say in case ma. Hope she is fine..God bless her! Thanky auntie...kekex..Today the apple auntie nb come so not as fun as it shld be..kekex aniway tk care all the auntie! Kekex kk jux hope all my friends is doing fine and take care!!! HoPe aLl mY fRiEndS hApPinEsS wIlL nB eNd =) hApPy aLwAys

kEkeX

2005-10-25T19:14:00.000+08:00

kEkeX

yeah!!! Tmr is the last day of work le. Today hahax i m really dAmned happy! My feeling is so high...and my friend tot today is my last day...hahax of work..not die la. By the way...Today a lot of thingy happen nehx...Sodesnehx??? Hai!(Yes!) Kekex, i tok wif the aunt there..they r cute and funny...lolx they gib me a new name..pinky! Lolx bcos today i wear pink or can say almost i everytime wear pink..hahax..Den today work until half way i got cut my the boxes...bleeding x/ so i went to the toilet..lolx very pained one lehx...the toilet there very eerie......AAAaaahHHh...hahax...yup and den wad lehx...oh ya..i came bk frm toilet..lolx lied to the auntie i lost her "ATM" card(nid the card to go in and it cost $10 for deposit) hahax den auntie like very shock but i very shiok..lolx..

Yup noe new friends again..2 gals 2 boy. The boi got one like the taiwan artist nehx...the yan xing su...lolx..i don hab a good memory to rem name..so i ask if there is a easier way to rem...he said this: call me yoyo. Lolx den his friend don noe called wad ah yong de...ahhh headache man..lolx.. n another 2 gals...one call alicia one call may..hehex i gott this two gal fone nos..they very pretty...who wan to noe them find me...lolx kidding nia..don come pester me hor! Yeah todae don nid to work OT(overtime) ...lolx shiok sia. Hmmmx i think it is the end of todae! Tk care my friends! Smile always and Gd nite!!!

mAkiNg fRieNds

2005-10-24T19:24:00.000+08:00

mAkiNg fRieNds

The job is quite tiring..hahax but jux feel happy when i was working as i hab noe new friends although i do not actually can say to noe them as friend bahx =P don noe wad i m toking abt...heex. Altogether i noe 6 friends heex...Firstly is Mei Feng and Yan Ting...they are actually Corina and Lishing friends...they noe each other earlier than me. Secondly is the 4 guy. Kekex ya i onli noe 3 guys name: Wei Qi, Jun Ming and Jun Hao...and another tall tall guy...don noe wad is his name =P
Weiqi is a tall tall guy...who learn japanese sword nehx...lolx how i noe this??? Bcos he bring his sword to work as he hab training after working. Cool ya? Sometimes maybe i too "open"( i mean i tok to him lik he is already my friend. Which some gals may think it is quite open as he is still not my friends and gals shld be more shy a bit...lolx i don noe why...i usually treat guys as my "buddy") maybe lik this make him feel strange bahx... =P
Den here comes Jun Ming...he ah...hmmmx don noe lehx..he say me rough den i say him sissy..lolx quite funny one la..but can't believe he hab the same interest as me. Lik to draw anime...and maybe like to watch naruto bahx....Heex he lik shikamaru but i lik naruto lolx full of fighting spirit...heex. When Corina told me he play volleyball...i can't believe sia...haix...hahax...Sometimes i gave him attitude lolx..he might think i hab attitude problem but wad i can mainly say is...guy is jux a trouble....one of my friend lik this guy den ya la...bcos i work the same work as him den say i lik him...oh man...Zzz i work wif him bcos his tall tall friend don noe go where den i help him lo...too mani stuff to tied up ma. Den mux say i lik him lah...friends close to me will noe when the topic we are toking is the interest i lik i will feel wif energetic. Den i usually treat guy as "buddy" one ma..i oso don noe why i don hab feeling for guys but take note i m not homosexual! I ask my aunt...they say i m too young to hab that feeling..lolx maybe bahx...I dislike being the main character in the gossip...i hab been the main female character since pri 5...i can't tolerate being say i lik this guy or that guy lik me when it is not true!
Den here comes Jun Hao...don hab a deep impression on him lehx...maybe bcos he work at the different area as us bahx...
Here comes the tall tall guy..don noe his name...don hab a deep impression on him too.

aChiNg

2005-10-23T09:54:00.000+08:00

aChiNg

It has been a week since i start work...it is tiring...and oso my whole body muscle is aching...it hasn't been so painful when i was playing hockey last time...Finally, the weekend has come and i can finally rest for a while. Still remember the happiness i hab when i receive the $100 of the salary...I was happy bcos i feel a success to it. The money is earn with both of my hand. With the hardwork i hab done...hahax.

Ytd i went to bugis wif lishing for interview...on the candy shop. I was tired and my body was aching so i walked quite slow la...jux as slower than usual. I don noe why...it seems like now...i can hardly tok to lishing freely like in the past...maybe bcos of the thing happen in the previous time bahx. hahax so lo...ytd lishing seems like do not hab the mood to walk so we actually went home early...I cried...in the MRT bcos...at tat time i was alone. Ya alone...suddenly feel i was totally dependant on friend rather than myself. Lishing jux walk so fast and lik rushing hme.. I walk down the escalator and we walk separate way. She called me...but i did not receive the call....maybe scare bahx....oso don noe scare for wad..lolx. Den suddenly break down...maybe bcos of few reason....I don noe why...I usually don dare to face the problem...and sometimes try to run away...frm the problem...Sometimes thing tat does not concern me..i don care bcos it is none of my business.

Oh ya reason for crying...

1. I finally found i was irritating...maybe..
2. It is boring to went out with me...bcos i seldom tok when i was shopping...i oso don noe why...jux don feel like toking..i lik quiet....bahx

3. Thinking of wad my mum hab told me...last thursday...

4. Lishing's action

.......Zzz jux don feel lik thinking abt it le...unhappiness is going to get rid off my blogg...heex

So hope all my friend stay happy forever =) smile!

tiReD

2005-10-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

tiReD

Phew, i finally found a job during this 3 month holiday. It is damned tiring sia. I work 9 hrs a day...frm 8 am to 5.30pm...sometimes need to work OT den will be $6 per hrs. Hahax the auntie there all very cute.They say"just think of the money. Money money money den you won't feel tired anymore. Lolx cute ya? This is torturing. I hab to stand the whole day....Zzz sometimes even got cut by the boxes X( sadx...
But through this job, i learn a lesson. Which is" Money is difficult to get. Must spend thrifty." I must hab the spirit of working! Don't bcos of the injury made during work period...aching here and there den don work. As my mum say this" Onli people who can take the hardship can survive in this society."
Lolx sae until here le...Zzz going to sleep. Good night =)

uNfOrTunAtE

2005-10-12T13:26:00.000+08:00

uNfOrTunAtE

This is the most unfortunate thing happen to me indeed. This matter got to do wif my eyes. In chinese they will say it is "long" but it jux some kind of yellowish liquid...eeek quite disgusting ya? hahax while i m use to it, this thingy always appear near my eyes, which is such a pain. When i m 2yrs old, this thingy appear, and my parent was very worried abt me. So they brought me to a doctor. This doctor....did not tied me up, did not help me inject any medicine...so tat i won't feel painful...he jux use an operation knife and cut away this thingy...and hence it left a scar...bcos i was moving....
This scar sometimes make me dislike the way i m, but i m use to it...so unfortunate, my family is not rich, no money to gave me plastic surgery or wadeva, but i was use to it, no point doing it, is jux a waste of money...maybe tis is my fate ba.
One day, my mum told me...she said end of this year she gonna bring me to hab an operation again! Yes again...i hab an operation when i m primary 4..cost abt $1000 over hahax and some more this operation is done is NUH, but it seem like ntg happen, the scar is still there...even though the doctor drew a very beautiful eyes and told my mum after operation it will be like tat. It is painful...in heart and in physical. While the operation is mainly very painful...but my heart hurts....I don wan my parent to waste this kind of money jux to make me look good...too costly, i am not meant to it. Wad if this operation fails again...wasting the money again???
So i don noe whether m i going to the operation....

fRiEnDs fOrEvER

2005-10-11T12:20:00.000+08:00

This iS mY fRieNDs aNd wE sWoRe tO bE fRieNdS foReVeR!!!

cHilDreN oF tHe WorLd

2005-10-10T10:38:00.000+08:00

cHilDreN oF tHe WorLd

Everybody is a children...no matter how old you ar. This is wad i hab be thinking last night. Why i said this is mainly bcos as a youngster, for example me, i m my parent's children, in their eyes, i may still be just a small little gal who need parents to tuck me into bed...no matter how old i m. I will still be a children in my parent's eyes. My grandparents may see the same way, in their eyes, my parent is jux a grown up kids, who needs care, love and concern. And this goes down to generation. Then who is adult? God? Maybe. Bcos some people may believe this: God make us. Without God, no peace, no earth.
We shld learn to be content. This is wad i think: A person's happiness, does not matter on whether you having a lot of money, have a big bungalow, car and so on. Or whether you ar so poor tat you can onli live in 3 room flat. It matter on a person who can be content on wad they are having now? For example: me! I maybe living in 4 room flat. My father may be a taxi driver, my mum may be a women who help others to baby sit. Every month we may be worry about the expensive bill. But i m happy!!! Bcos i learn to be contented. Having a cheerful family is jux good enough for me to strive hard together with my parent. So what we hab to worry every month on the bill, so wad we hab to worry so much abt $$$. We still live happily ever after. Bcos in my family, they looks at the warmth of the family much much more than $$$. Bcos happiness in the family is jux so rare like jewel tat it can't be bought by $$$. I Love My Family!!!

iNtErEsTinG

2005-10-07T11:38:00.000+08:00

iNtErEsTinG?

Yeah neo wad? Today is the last day of skool le...waiting for the math paper two to come...hahax can't wait sia. Today art paper...i tink i m the 1st one to finish the whole art piece in the examination hall ba...i finish at 10am....ya very fast..lolx but noe wad? When my art tcher walk pass me and look at my "wonderful" art piece she smile....don noe is wad kind of smile la. Den i was some kind of akward...=P i was rushing my work...bcos...i was damned sleepy...can't wait to finish and den Zzz...kekex. Ytd i look at my msn inbox...as usual there will be mail send to me...I read a very interesting mail from Danial Tan lolx, a guy in my class...hope to share wif ppl hu look at my blog...the story goes like this:

Nail in the fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper and hence the boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to u. Show your friends how much you care by appreciate the thing they gave and grateful to wad they gave u. Do the same to your friends too.

grEAt wOrlD

2005-10-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

grEAt wOrlD

Neo wad? hahax tis year is a difficult year to pass....the road seem to be so unsmooth, but finally i hab reach my destination, i hab succeed to finish walking the difficult path. Today science paper, hahax the chemistry, damned easy...the moment i do from the first page to the last page, my grinned grow wider...but the moment i do the biology, okie la...not as wide as the chemistry...lolx. YEAH!!! Tmr is the last day of school and kambate for my art and math paper two tmr!!!
Re: All the best and Kambate for your coming tournament!!! On the 10/9/05 and 12/9/05...if i m not wrong! Kambate Zhide...lolx.