♥ Monday, February 27, 2006
2:44:00 PM Y
Post title : cHeriSh
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
cHeriSh
There were this two children who like to fight against each other. They were blood related sister and brother. The gal and the boi loves to cry. They cry bcos they got scolded, they cry bcos they got beaten, they cry bcos they got punished, they cry for all the reason...but whenever any one of them was crying, the other one will comfort her/him. Just like now...."Go away, don bother mi." cried the little boi bitterly in his bedroom."Hey, that's my room too." the gal said..."and is ur fault for scolding vulgar. Father was onli scolding at you, he didn't even beat you." this is how much a sister could do, to jux comfort him..."He scold mi was already a big mistake. You go away!" little boi shouted. "Fine! I go away, no more music box for u." and suddenly, the door cracked open. The gal saw her little brother's face full of tears.."You promise to buy it for mi." little boi said in anxious."Kkx, wash urself up, and we will go buy the music box together." the gal said and both looking at each other laughing like an idiot.Now the same situation, but this time the character vice versa."GO AWAY! I m not in a good mood!" the gal said in anger."wa so scary! As if I scare. =P " little boi was teasing his sister."ARE YOU DEAF!?" the gal said, and she pulled her little brother and they start fighting. Few minutes later, the laughter was heard, an idiot siblings....One day, the boy was gone, and he was no longer in this world. The family was sad, everybody was feeling down. The family was quiet and dull. No more noisy argument made by the little boy and his sister. No more laughter from that little boi.
Wad was this story telling abt? Do anyone noes??
Yes!!
Tat's right!!!
Cherish all the people around eu! People who cares for eu. People who loves eu. And when you notice it! It is the minimum thing that you can do to repay their loves!
story written by: Claire Zhou Siyin ^^
♥ Thursday, February 23, 2006
2:45:00 PM Y
Post title : wAd hAppEn tO mI?
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
wAd hAppEn tO mI?
~Story~ Why are there ppl hu can't take joke...? They treat joke seriously end up suffering themselves..isn't this funny? To mi, I can take joke...but wen is time to serious..I will get serious and suddenly focus on the work and wen u call mi, I oso don noe...LOL I can take joke, I can be a very slack person, but can oso be a very serious person..but most of the time I m serious, tat's why my friend will say "wa so serious" this kind of sentence =.= ~*~ Today, early in the morning woke up...feeling something wrong wif mi today...I oso don noe wad actually happen...but it seems like my soul is out of my body~~!!! I suddenly so quiet and can't even smile wen I saw my friends..which I would usually smile..I oso don noe wad actually happen to mi..suddenly seems so familiar, like the past, my past... Suddenly so quiet, feeling so blank..even funny things happen in front of mi, I can't even smile or laugh..jux like the past..my past. I hab a terrible childhood. Why I say terrible? Cos wen I was still a kid, I always got bullied...by gals and my parent don even noe abt it, that's why, wen I was young, I already hang around wif guys, or if not, I would rather stay alone, in one corner. Slowly, I was in a habit of keeping silence even I was sad, happi, or even angry, jux quiet..cos feeling unsafe, cos lose trust in ppl around mi...I started to protect myself and beat those gals up when they bully mi..lolx i even cr8 gang when i was a kid...now think back..cool ~.~ lolx ...after I was in Primary 4, I made friend with one of the gal who had a same surname as mi..and hence I started to change...change into a cheerful gal, who started to believe ppl around mi. But I was wrong...starting my Secondary school life..I was totally trusting on friends I made and was hurtx, jux bcos I trust them , really trust them, and they disappointed mi.
Why do friends neglected their friend wen they hab either bf or gf? Is this how it's work? Will it goes same to mi? If I had a bf? I hope I m not, or I will not be!
Today, in art class, finally I m bak to my normal self. Thinks my soul is bak. LOL anw today is a very terrible day during art lesson. My group of christian friends was toking abt their church thingy...and I totally feel left out, cos I m not a christian, I m a free thinker, being left out...the feeling is neva good. I wan to try communicate wif them thru other topic, but suddenly feel myself useless to actually think of a topic to talk to, cos wad I like, they don like. Wad I don like, they like...a hard communication wif them ....sadx..but after art, suddenly my friends and i get so high...LOL like an idiot ? But I feel myself like a frog in the well...lolx cos I was totally in my own world, who noe nth abt wad happen in this world, or wad show was shown on tv last nitex.
One of my friend is going to ITE..cos she don wan to stay at sec 4 anymore...hope she is doing fine there. Anw, wish her all the best! And oh yar, my mum is not going to cut off the usuage of the broadband le...hmmmx hab to depend bahx...
Today, I had heard on a terrible news...our eng tcher is going to change, jux bcos the last yrs batch "O" Level did not do well for the eng. But wad does this means? Result is shown by hardwork not onli by tcher but students too, if they did not do well, it doesn't mean tat it is totally tcher's fault. And it is not our class fault too, so why muz we suffer? By changing a good tcher away, and get a new tcher to replaced her? Isn't this cruel? Can the principal confirm tat a new tcher replaced her and we can get tremedous excellent result in "O"? Wad the hell, is this principal thinking? Is he going to chase all the good tcher out of the school jux bcos they cannot produce a result? Today, my social studies tcher said something...which I feeling sadx about it...she said the principal told her tat her talent is outside the classroom...well hu wouldn't noe wad it means. She told us about a news of the soccer team, who had a coach teaching them, and once there was a major match..but they lost, although the coach and the team members had tried very hard. Mani ppl predict that the coach is going to be sacked, but nxt morning, the president of the U, did not sacked the coach. Moreover, the coach is going to get a bonus raise. And the president said this:" We hab lost the game, but wad is the most important thing is not the result, but the character development. The coach had teach our student well, and this is no doubt." I almost wan to sobx...why? Why JWSS is a school which onli look at the result from every ppl...from the coach of CCA, from the tcher and even from the student? Well result maybe partly important, but does tat mean wen a person can't produce a good result he/she muz be sacked? Tcher and coach had been changing since I was in this school...is this school really that heartless that they onli focus on the result that produce and not looking tat we, human hab feelings too. Changing a tcher / instructor...does this help? We hab feelings for each person..they changing it jux bcos the result tat is out is not good..does this really benefit- we students? Did they ever think of the consequences? Sometimes we can't produce good result...they can't blame us but themselves. They don gib us a chance to prove ourselves, and keep on changing tcher, they think tat's going to help..but did they ever wonder..the matter maybe worst after tat. Our social studies tcher told us this " Wad we tcher worried about you student is wad...do u all noe?" The whole class was quiet..totally silence. "We worried that you would become a heartless person after that...wen u come to work in society, U will sacked the person who can't produce good result. And u would totally forget that in this world, there is something called "Feelings". "
♥ Tuesday, February 21, 2006
7:06:00 PM Y
Post title : sIanZz
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
sIanZz
Story~ I hate to get sympathy from ppl , it seems fake..cos ppl hu don really care abt u actually show sympathy to you...is some kind of..hmmmx awkward? Aiya wad eva la...U jux wan to write ur story, ur own life and don wan any ppl to noe..cos u feel unsafe..well...maybe tis is wad I m feeling now...to keep a certain distance to any or every ppl...~*~ to be continued...
I Sometimes feel stressed onli to a particular person >.< stressed =".=">
Today, whole class went to Clementi...the minds centre..den we do our service learning there, by painting, do art and craft and cleaning for them...phew a tiring day..den wen going hme..Irene and I walk quite fast..or maybe Pris and Jac walk quite slow...I oso don noe why..den wen reach interchange, I use Irene hp to call Pris for 2 times...the phone keep ringing but she did not received the phone maybe she put it in silent mode.
Ppl always tot I m a sociable person...but the truth is I M NOT! I maybe sociable but wen I m wif my friends or family. I m terrified to mit new ppl, timid =.=" I m... I wan to overcome the phobia...but it is hard...tat's y.. mitting new ppl, make mi feel unsafe..lolx well maybe is normal...who wouldn't...but I jux scare.haix..
my mum is going to cut off the usage of using broadband..hence NO MORE INTERNET for mi...nxt month =.=" (maybe) haix..so lor..after nxt month..maybe difficulties to update my blog le..or even come in to see my blog oso hab difficulties . lolx maybe wen i go poly..hab my own laptop den maybe can update again. LOL sadx sia...Zzz no more internet Zzz no more anime download Zzz, no more online game Zzz SIANZ ARH~~~~~~~~ wonder how my life can carry on without internet =.="
♥ Sunday, February 19, 2006
11:05:00 AM Y
Post title : haPpi aLwaYs
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
haPpi aLwaYs
Lolx, finally, war had ended...hmmx..reader will be thinking wad war issit? Well is the war between my bro and I. Yea...and I m jux happi as usual when i m at hme ^^
♥ Friday, February 17, 2006
9:33:00 PM Y
Post title : PatHetiC
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
PatHetiC
~Story~Dear Diary, While regarding Standy's thing, I hab to make amendment to my words, I m onli stressed when i m wif Standy alone. And to tat, it is totally, a misunderstanding, actually, she was angry so she throw the staple bullet and pencil lid in front but accidentally drop behind my chairs...well, I chose to accept although.....^^ and of cos, i hope this INCIDENT wouldn't happen again.~*~ to be continued...
Well, everybody will come across depression in their lifes...including mi. I m totally in depression now...and worst of all, my headache nv seems to be alright...Zzz still painx and painx and painx...so sux, the feeling.
Ytd, is thursday...if i m nt wrong...and yep...ytd i totally break down...hahax really too stressed le. After P.E, I was totally...feeling down...although i seems okie...hmmmx maybe my acting very good. Den I shld go for the don noe wad actor competition den become actress den, ah huh~, my friend can freely SPY on mi, cos i m an actress le >.< ....fat hope...tat wouldn't ever happened in my life...lolx crap again. Yea, whr did I stop...oh yar, after recess is Art lesson...and totally no mood to draw, shade or do toning....ppl in depression can't do thing well...my as well don do. So I ask my friend Jermin if she wanted to go out and draw..actually is jux to relax myself...the atmosphere in the art room is suffocating...den we go to the staircase there...and started to hab a talk...i burst out...really, ytd was the time, i cried until so jia lat de...I nv cry until like tat b4..really is beta to cry out...although crying don help much...but at least...can soothe me a little...well, u will asked, why i cried? The reason is simple...I cried for mani reason...and the reason is simple.
1) Too stress, headache,
2) Suddenly felt pathetic abt myself, being a failure in life..always got betrayed..but wad can i do? lolx
3) Quarrel with my mum and bro last last nitex...and my bro and I hab a violent fite...We nv hab such a violent fite b4...in my life...in my 17 years life.
4) Hate, hate the God for being so unfair.
5) Hate the "fake" ppl.
Well, do a person hab a feeling of sorrow wen their heart is dead? I suddenly hab the feeling tat, is beta to hab a heart dead, at least I wont be so suffering now...so wad if i could enjoy the happiness?....the happiness is jux FAKE!
Ytd, b4 I went to watch the movie, I went hme from skool, totally a cold war btw my mum and I..den my dad gave mi $10 although i said I hab money le. Went to watch "I NOT STUPID TOO" wif Pris...hahax, I cried again..over tat movie =.=" lame sia...lolx ytd is a crying day for mi...i think. B4 tat, I donated $10...to a charity..I oso don noe wad issit..but at least I m fortunate den the ppl who ar suffering..and suddenly I found myself happier...an undescribable feeling...after I donate the money...jux felt tat, doin a good deed is the most happiest thing in my life...hmmx...not bad. After watching the movie...I suddenly hab a strong feeling..an urge to go hme...and tell my father to "drive carefully, bye bye" well my father is a taxi driver. Suddenly had a strong feeling...tat, we as a children would onli noe how to cherish our parent wen they are not around anymore...or some children think...their parent don give a hack care abt them...actually parents do care...is jux tat, some parent don noe how to express themselves..tat's all.
Today still a cold war btw mi and my bro..I don even gib a hack abt him...beat mi until blue black, WTH....painx sia. FREAK >.
Well...mani things happened....my friend keep telling mi, forgive and forget, forgive and forget....well as reader can see, in my previous blog....did I NOT EVER FORGIVE AND FORGET? NO! And maybe bcos i forgive and forget..tat's why I m in this situation now. Selfish...most ppl are selfish...tis is a fact, an actual fact, well whu wouldn't think of themselves b4 thinking abt other. And i totally a DUMBASS to actually...thinking forgive, forget will solved the problem...but is this true? Wad did I get after I forgive and forget? Betrayed again. So wad 4? Wad for to forgive, wad for to forget? Ppl can jux easily say Forgive and Forget, but it is hard to do tat...do anyone noes? Some ppl, don really understand my situation and can crap so mani rubbish...for wad. I recommend u to jux saved ur saliva, beta. Well, I m not a person who hold hatred for long, and I don give a hack on remembering wad thing you had done to hurt mi...but is jux tat, I can't control..but the things that happened keep appearing in my mind, which i wouldn't wan to, you think is fun to remember all the pain? I jux wan a clearer mind...is tat so difficult? It's a scar...in my heart. I can't erase it away. Well, some ppl may say, haiyo u don care her lor, u r jux too sensitive, well, they don really get wad I mean. Do u think I really wan to care, I jux wan to make thing clear and don wan to make thing worst.
Revenge..is tat really important...y do some ppl jux like to revenge. Revenge is jux showing, U R CHILDISH! tat's all...well...I really wan to say...in this world..it seems like I hab a lot of friends...but it seems like none really understand and know the real mi....so pathetic..sometimes looking at other group of friend...they jux noe each other well...y there isn't a friend tat know AT LEAST a bit of mi? y?
♥ Wednesday, February 15, 2006
2:46:00 PM Y
Post title : sUfFeR?
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
sUfFeR?
~Story~ Dear Diary, Suddenly...again..I felt happi but onli to a particular group of friends...such as wif Joyce, Jessy, Pris or a group of other races friend. Wen i with Standy's group i jux don noe why, i will be stress out. Cos I always felt tat, the relationship between me and them...is like impossible...fake? But I noe...I m getting bak to my cheerful self ^^. Tis few day, my old injury is bak. Headache...bad bad headache...Zzz but nvm i will get used to the pain again. Ytd, a Valentine days..I m not happy..cos i hurt someone...a innocent party...reject a person is a difficult task. U scare to hurt that person...but yet, you do not wish to give him any hope...no matter the hurt is major or minor..in the end the person is hurt too...but i really hab to say sry to him...for being so straightforward....but the earlier to make thing clear, the pain will be lesser...tat's wad I wish to believe and hope it is true....~*~to be continued...
CoOl today is a TOTAL DEFENCE DAY...lolx well well..today is onli half day..so quite happi. Well let c wad programme we hab today...hmmx well I remembered an old man...talking alot of crap history and ended his talk after 30 minutes...0.o PRO lolx...and we went bak to class and use straw to create a model to represent 5 elements of the Total Defence. Lastly, b4 we go hme...our sitting arrangement was change again =.=" SO SADX...I was force to move away from my "lao po" lolx kidding...Is friend la...BEST FRIEND EVA ^^....
Well tat's the end ^^ wISh aLL mY frIendS SMILE ALWAYS, esp JERMIN^^ may god bless u all ^^
♥ Monday, February 13, 2006
2:45:00 PM Y
Post title : WaD hApPen?
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
WaD hApPen?
~Story~Dear Diary,Why do all friends like to noe hu their friend like? Going out wif hu? Why they like to tok on this topic? They not sianx one mehx? "Ace, i m in pained...i really wan to cry out..." one of my friend, Jessy, come to mi. "Why, wad happen? Joyce again?" I sighed..." I really don noe wad to do....she rather listened to bad company den to mi, and the reason is bcos in class no one talks to her, so she hab to listen to them..." she said in depressed. "LOL wad crap is this? So wad u two ar in different classes, tat doesn't mean she hab to listen to bad company, Pris and I same class wif her wad, we can tok to each other, don we?" "I don noe...I jux noe..I m hurtxx...>.<" she said. "Tell u, as a friend, we can onli do this much" I measure a small gap using my two hands. " and the rest hab to depend on her le..." I measure a big gap....while as mani thing happened....Joyce seems to be closing herself in the darkness...y she is so similar to mi..the other mi...closing myself in darkness...timid....scare of being hurt again and again.
School bell rangs....
"Yea finally..." I said in happiness...LOLX the moment i stand up from my seat...i saw a lot of mechanical pencil lid and a staple bullet...I was stunt....sitting behind mi was Standy and Jessica...I don noe wad happen...but to my conclusion it seems like...it was done purposely. Actually i jux wan to expose her...but i think, maybe is jux a misunderstanding or wad..i tolerate her very long le...hope this is jux a misunderstanding...but i jux can't stop thinking it is purposely one..cos it is obvious...jux wan to FCUK HER OFF LA....really you noe...I was jux having a bad headache...and my temper getting worst dis few days...but i tolerate.
Come on, I keep thinking, did i offend her? But no, i didn't do anything wad. Well maybe, I nv tell her wad to do on the assessment wen she was sick, or I jux keep shouting bk wen she say i like hu or maybe today, math tcher ask her to go out and show something but in the end i was the one doing it and the math tcher say if i wan to blame, blame her...but is this offensive? Well if yes, I really wan to say sorri to u. But hey I m not soft toy or a vendor for u to throw your temper on. You are not anyone hu I think worth it to let you to vent ur anger on mi. This few day, my memory getting worst, i don noe wad actually happen to mi, SHORT TERM MEMORY...i think....but I really don remember i offence her LOR. FRIENDS ARE TREASURE, THEY ARE NOT A DOG FOR ANYONE TO BEAT. I really hab to say this...Zzz anyway, i really, really jux wan to tell u, you wan to vent ur anger, go find ppl hu make u angry, don anyhow vent ur anger on others, u don hab the right to do tat, others hab feeling too, ur emotion is affecting others, IF U DON NOE.~*~ to be continued...
hey cool cool, lolx today in school nth much happen, but jux feeling sleepy tat's all. AnYwaY hOpE aLL mY frIeNdS ArE haPpi aLwaYs!!!
♥ Sunday, February 12, 2006
8:52:00 AM Y
Post title : to Be cOntinueD
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
to Be cOntinueD
~Story~Dear Diary ,Next morning, i went to school with a pure smile on my lonely little face. "Hey, ar u alright? Wad happened?" best friend Kim asked in concern. "Huh? Wad happened?" i answered wif a blank look on my face. "Ytd i went in and saw ur blog." She said. "Oh...hahax nth la..." a faked smile again. "Oh, okie." She said and continue wif other topic...."why i said nth wen i wan somebody to noe? I wan them to noe my pain, why i said nth? Is this wad a friend is? Wen you said nth but don look like you ar ok, they jux don care? They jux ask you whether you ar alright bcos both of us are friend? As a friend they shld AT LEAST ask...after asking..MISSION ACCOMPLISHED...tat's all?" i thinking....>.<>
♥ Friday, February 10, 2006
4:43:00 PM Y
Post title : nEw sTory
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
nEw sTory
Hey guys...don feel like to continue on the previous story but no worry, cos i writing on a story...on a gal who is in dilema in her life. And yea, wish you guys will like it =D Story is below.Today is the "O" level result release...suddeny felt the whole school was tense up. One of our tcher said this," Actually almost all tcher is affected by all of ur result." yea sure is, from the look of the tcher face who is in charge in last year express and 5NA. Suddenly think tat, nxt year the same situation will be happen to mi, taking my "O" lvl result, wad will it be?Finally can said to be cope wif the skool work. Feeling relieved somehow.-->Resistance does not mean walls and fences, nonresistance does not mean open space. If you can understand in this way, mind and matter are fundamentally the same.~Story~Dear Diary, This few day, my emotion flows like the weather..unpredictable...i had a talk wif one of my friend, and tnx to him, he actually enlightened mi. Well, finally i realise tat, if you find it is hard to communicate between friends, the best way is not to break the friendship but jux become pure and normal friends. No one loves anyone, it is meant by fate. It is fated to see each other and became friends, so it is hard to say "I don friend you", well usually pri skool kids will do this but surprisingly, few days later you see them playing with each other again. In this world, friend is a thing we can't lack of, and bcos of this friend is meant to be treasure. No one will noe wad happen to you, wen you jux keep ur mouth shut, no one will understand ur situation if you don open ur heart. But...to mi...is tis true? i don noe...but i jux don dare to open my heart to any of my friend. It is bcos, I am timid, i m afraid, of being betrayed again? I suddenly realise sometimes wad you told ur friend as a secret they will jux simply treat it as a joke. When you wan to change urself, in appearance, in character, it seems like a wrong thing to them. But people do change, don they understand it? I can hardly express myself well, either angry or sad. This few day, i m not being myself, the true self, the one i shld be. I found myself being hypocrite, fake. I even laugh and smile even though i m not happy thru my heart. Y? Y am i like tis? To wish and hope no one is affected by my mood? Maybe. Or jux wan myself to noe i m "happi" in this way.~*~