♥ Thursday, February 23, 2006
2:45:00 PM Y
Post title : wAd hAppEn tO mI?
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
wAd hAppEn tO mI?
~Story~ Why are there ppl hu can't take joke...? They treat joke seriously end up suffering themselves..isn't this funny? To mi, I can take joke...but wen is time to serious..I will get serious and suddenly focus on the work and wen u call mi, I oso don noe...LOL I can take joke, I can be a very slack person, but can oso be a very serious person..but most of the time I m serious, tat's why my friend will say "wa so serious" this kind of sentence =.= ~*~ Today, early in the morning woke up...feeling something wrong wif mi today...I oso don noe wad actually happen...but it seems like my soul is out of my body~~!!! I suddenly so quiet and can't even smile wen I saw my friends..which I would usually smile..I oso don noe wad actually happen to mi..suddenly seems so familiar, like the past, my past... Suddenly so quiet, feeling so blank..even funny things happen in front of mi, I can't even smile or laugh..jux like the past..my past. I hab a terrible childhood. Why I say terrible? Cos wen I was still a kid, I always got bullied...by gals and my parent don even noe abt it, that's why, wen I was young, I already hang around wif guys, or if not, I would rather stay alone, in one corner. Slowly, I was in a habit of keeping silence even I was sad, happi, or even angry, jux quiet..cos feeling unsafe, cos lose trust in ppl around mi...I started to protect myself and beat those gals up when they bully mi..lolx i even cr8 gang when i was a kid...now think back..cool ~.~ lolx ...after I was in Primary 4, I made friend with one of the gal who had a same surname as mi..and hence I started to change...change into a cheerful gal, who started to believe ppl around mi. But I was wrong...starting my Secondary school life..I was totally trusting on friends I made and was hurtx, jux bcos I trust them , really trust them, and they disappointed mi.
Why do friends neglected their friend wen they hab either bf or gf? Is this how it's work? Will it goes same to mi? If I had a bf? I hope I m not, or I will not be!
Today, in art class, finally I m bak to my normal self. Thinks my soul is bak. LOL anw today is a very terrible day during art lesson. My group of christian friends was toking abt their church thingy...and I totally feel left out, cos I m not a christian, I m a free thinker, being left out...the feeling is neva good. I wan to try communicate wif them thru other topic, but suddenly feel myself useless to actually think of a topic to talk to, cos wad I like, they don like. Wad I don like, they like...a hard communication wif them ....sadx..but after art, suddenly my friends and i get so high...LOL like an idiot ? But I feel myself like a frog in the well...lolx cos I was totally in my own world, who noe nth abt wad happen in this world, or wad show was shown on tv last nitex.
One of my friend is going to ITE..cos she don wan to stay at sec 4 anymore...hope she is doing fine there. Anw, wish her all the best! And oh yar, my mum is not going to cut off the usuage of the broadband le...hmmmx hab to depend bahx...
Today, I had heard on a terrible news...our eng tcher is going to change, jux bcos the last yrs batch "O" Level did not do well for the eng. But wad does this means? Result is shown by hardwork not onli by tcher but students too, if they did not do well, it doesn't mean tat it is totally tcher's fault. And it is not our class fault too, so why muz we suffer? By changing a good tcher away, and get a new tcher to replaced her? Isn't this cruel? Can the principal confirm tat a new tcher replaced her and we can get tremedous excellent result in "O"? Wad the hell, is this principal thinking? Is he going to chase all the good tcher out of the school jux bcos they cannot produce a result? Today, my social studies tcher said something...which I feeling sadx about it...she said the principal told her tat her talent is outside the classroom...well hu wouldn't noe wad it means. She told us about a news of the soccer team, who had a coach teaching them, and once there was a major match..but they lost, although the coach and the team members had tried very hard. Mani ppl predict that the coach is going to be sacked, but nxt morning, the president of the U, did not sacked the coach. Moreover, the coach is going to get a bonus raise. And the president said this:" We hab lost the game, but wad is the most important thing is not the result, but the character development. The coach had teach our student well, and this is no doubt." I almost wan to sobx...why? Why JWSS is a school which onli look at the result from every ppl...from the coach of CCA, from the tcher and even from the student? Well result maybe partly important, but does tat mean wen a person can't produce a good result he/she muz be sacked? Tcher and coach had been changing since I was in this school...is this school really that heartless that they onli focus on the result that produce and not looking tat we, human hab feelings too. Changing a tcher / instructor...does this help? We hab feelings for each person..they changing it jux bcos the result tat is out is not good..does this really benefit- we students? Did they ever think of the consequences? Sometimes we can't produce good result...they can't blame us but themselves. They don gib us a chance to prove ourselves, and keep on changing tcher, they think tat's going to help..but did they ever wonder..the matter maybe worst after tat. Our social studies tcher told us this " Wad we tcher worried about you student is wad...do u all noe?" The whole class was quiet..totally silence. "We worried that you would become a heartless person after that...wen u come to work in society, U will sacked the person who can't produce good result. And u would totally forget that in this world, there is something called "Feelings". "
