♥ Tuesday, August 15, 2006
3:34:00 PM Y
Post title : Silence decrease hatred?
♥ I don't know if i did the right thing
Silence decrease hatred?
Today ii don noe wad to say..but juz in dilema ...don noe wan to retake ma..at 1st when i got back my result i onli think of one option and tat is retake...but today after listening to sooo many comment...i in dilema le..well thou any option i choose is good for mii.. If i choose to retake..den i can get A1 or 2 den at least can lighten my load on other sub...i don nid to focus on my chi tat much even i retake..cos my chi not tat bad la...If i don retake...i can hav more time on other sub rather den chi...and can do beta on other sub too...dilema man..lolx but but but..i went home...ii tink through the night...calling relative for advice...and i make my decision xD i going to retake..i can get A1 or 2 is beta..den if i don play com and use the time to practice the math..i still hab a higher chance to get better grade for other sub! xD
15th of Aug
Today, second times for crying this year...i soooo sadx...sooooo sadx T.T...readers who read my blog..should know who is Irene...she betrayed mii before..i had forgiven her...we became normal friends....this few day my other friends...found tat she lied again...why muz she do this to get attention? Betraying friends...lying to friend to get attention....attention is much more impt than friends? I don noe...she would noe the ans very well....den this few day...my other friends...always talk about Irene...left mii and sooyah...who catch no ball on what they are talking about...but mii and sooyah nv really try to find out wad happen...life stay as simple as possible...so tat uu will live happier...i don noe why...my other friends...the group who is talking about Irene...somebody in the group can be soo happy when talk about Irene thingy..she is so excited..i don noe why..
This few day...after ii am a distance away from them..i become independent..tat's good..at least i can go anywhere alone...without company le..i seldom talk and laugh...seldom talk bcos there is nth for mii to talk..their topic always surround wif Irene...or maybe...bad words about others...i hate..and i would stay a far distance away from tis topic..i seldom laugh...why should i laugh when there is nth interesting or funny in front of mii? It will be stupid or showing i am insane if i laugh like an eediot when nth seems funny..
Today during P.E ...so sianx..haiz...nvm...den during recess..they talk about Irene again..den i jux shut my mouth and eat my food lor...after eating..ii volunteer to buy drink..cos i wan to buy drink too so help others buy lor...convenience ma...after buying...i give them the drinks..and ask sooyah to help mii take care of my drinks...i go wash hand...when i came back from the washroom...qi use the lowest voice say.."siyin is back" den ling say"whr uu gone?" den i was drinking my water..so it take some time for mii to ans her back..den qi say " she go washroom la" den since she ans for mii..i jux nod my head...save my breath. But...during this short conversation...it contained a lot of curiousity and suspect..ii can feel it.. ii can hear it...i...almost wan to cry out...they actually suspecting mii! They suspect ii told Irene what they said...they suspect i very good with Irene...maybe bcos this few day i nv talk to them den they start to suspect...but the truth is..After they told mii Irene lied again...i had already stop talking to her...i don wan the history to repeat..being too close to her is too dangerous...i don wan to be betrayed again...it hurts mii...but wad happen!? The other friends suspect mii... T.T wad the hell is with this world..? Being Silence!!! Being Silence...y y y ?? I shut my mouth up and this is wad i get...Silence cant decrease hatred in this world...talk too much oso can't! Den wad should i do? Dilema...den after recess...i totally wan to burst off...i control..and try to not tink about it...but i cant...when going up to the classroom...i tink should i retake my MT?? Dilema again..with tis kind of things happen...not yet solve...i totally no mood to prepare for O..needless to say..about the Chi..den during math lesson...i suddenly heard my parent's voice..heard them saying "Why muz uu be affected by them? " yes...y muz i be affected...den i make my decision...retake. It is raining during math lesson...rain is pouring..so do my heart...i close the window beside mii and i try to focus...but i cant..when we were doin classwork...i start to sob...den got one drop of tears drop on my worksheet..lolx soo yah who is sittin beside mii saw it and ask mii raindrop arh..den i nod my head..lolx don wan her to know i am crying..but..i really wan to burst out..den i ask soo yah to accompany mii to the washroom...the moment i walk out of the classroom..my tears start dropping..oh man..lolx den i tink she finds something strange about mii..den she saw mii crying...lolx den in the washroom..she totally stunt and scared...maybe..bcos i1st time cry in school bahx..lolx den she 1st time saw mii crying..so she feel abit nervous and don noe wad to do..always pat on my back..and asking mii wad happened and almost wan to cry out too...at 1st...i don really wan to say out de..juz wan to cry out den tat's it..but i say out..i shouldn't hab said tat...but i don really trust her...she betrayed mii b4 too...telling out my secret to ling for more than once...but i trust her tis time..and told her...she comfort mii..thou it doesnt work...cos she knows...how i feel..bcos she is another one who catch no balls on wad the group is talking about...she said i tink too much..but doesnt sound persuasive enough..i noe..she oso don noe wad the group is tinking...den..we went back to classroom..i told her don tell anybody about wad happen..and she promise..den when i in the classroom...ling and shing..i tink they saw mii...thou i already lowered my head..really down until cant see my face..-.- but they still saw it...they comfort mii and gib mii tissue..but i don noe wad to say...my heart is dead to this friendship? I cant gain any trust from them? Den my tears start to roll in my eyeball again...haiz....cry until my head so painx...everytime..when i cry..would ended up sleepin..now..lolx well...i cant slp..the chi tcher came in le..haiz
